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I spoke to DS7 and asked him what happened. I guess it is this, DS7 was whining today. WH sent him to the bathroom for a time out. DS7 then expressed his desire to go home. WH told him there was no one home. I am not responding at all to WH. I asked DS7 about it. I don't think it is a big deal. I told DS7 to express whatever feelings he has with WH. If WH can't deal with it, he will have to become a father and GROW UP  HEHEHEHE
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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You are so right Neak. My house sure is. I didn't do too badly today. Only 8 Loonies in the jar today. That is 50 in total. Now that is SAD hahahahaha.
Well, I have an interesting one for you all. This is the email sent to the IMs. I know I shouldn't have checked it. I did. Should I respond and what should I do about this?
"Scotty,
DS7 has expressed on more than 1 occasion that he does not want to come over to see me on weekends.
Since this you convincing him then you can help him decide what he wants to do.
He does not want to listen to me"
Should I even say anything to DS7? I guess this is the response to the card DS7 has written. I just want to talk to DS7 about his feelings but not even respond to this at all with WH. It was an email sent to IMs that was addressed to ME. ARGH. Life is GRAND, wayturds suck azz. Scotty, how did you even GET that email? Don't you have an IM?
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I do have an IM. THe thing is, I set up the email addy for them so I knew the password. DS9 told me that WH emailed me. I checked it. I know I shouldn't have but I was curious. I am not going to respond to WH about it. I am not going to do anything about it. I asked DS7 and DS9 what it was about. That is as far as I am going to take it.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotty, it would be a good idea to ask her to change the password. I am an IM for a couple of folks and believe me, there are emails I get that would set them on their ear. You don't even need to know what he is saying and I would remove that tempatation ASAP..
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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I hear you Melodylane and I will do that. Thanx for looking out for me. I knew I should have done it before, I just didn't.  Sorry
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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I hear you Melodylane and I will do that. Thanx for looking out for me. I knew I should have done it before, I just didn't. Sorry you bad girl!!  {{{{{{{{{{{{{Scotty}}}}}}}}}}}} You really are doing great job, Scotty. And bless your heart for helping so many others on the forum. 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Hey Scotty,
There's nothing to apologize for. Plan B is really hard and we all get curious sometimes. At least the message you got wasn't really crazy. It could have been much, much worse.
I used to spy on WH's facebook account. I have since forgotten the login to the account that I used to do that. It made me mad the one day, but then I realized that God must not want me to do that anymore, so I am just going to accept that He knows what is best for me.
You're doing great! Keep up the good work!
BW (me - 45)
WH - 45
2 DDs
Married 20 years, together 25
DDay Spring 2009
WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW
Plan A - 4 months
Very dark Plan B Fall 2009
WH files D Summer 2010
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From my FB page today:
My Daily Motivator
Here is your Motivation of the Day
''Never give in. Never, never, never, never! Never yield in any way, great or small, except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force and the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy'' (Winston Churchill)
And our enemy: The A and waywardness!!
BW (me - 45)
WH - 45
2 DDs
Married 20 years, together 25
DDay Spring 2009
WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW
Plan A - 4 months
Very dark Plan B Fall 2009
WH files D Summer 2010
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 Scottie The ONLY thing I'm gonna say is that I think you succumbing to temptation and going into the email is worth a 10 loonie drop.......the bigger the offense, the bigger the consequence.....  congrats on the puppy.....Now YOU will have some company when those precious babies of yours are gone......  not2fun
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ROFL about the 10-loonie penalty. As to response or no response, this isn't an emergency, but it is important enough that I think the basic gist should have been passed on. So here's what we'll do...we'll back up and pretend Scotty never saw that other email. (Especially since she's going to be a good girl and prevent the temptation from happening again.)Also, since this new correspondence came through the "appropriate" channels, you don't have to drop any extra loonies. Scotty, you just got this note from your IM's: Scotty, WH just wrote to us about some problems/challenges he's having with DS7. DS7 has not been wanting to go with WH for the weekends, and WH would like your input on how to handle this to make it easier for DS7. Thanks! Scotty: Bwaaahaaahaaaaaaaa, come home ya loonie, that's how ya make it easier!!!!!!!! Ahem. Yes, a response. IM's, thanks for letting me know. My suggestion is for him to avoid taking the boys around Ms./Mrs. OW Note: normally I'm in favor of calling the OW "adultery partner"; in this instance with a nice dark PB, I want every single thing WH gets to be sweetness and light if possible.) as that makes it even harder for them than this is already. Once the A is over and WH comes home, these types of problems will resolve themselves. Thanks, Scotty That's a starting point for the brainstorming session. Having a kid totally not want to go with their wayward parent is common and understandable, though it can become a serious issue to deal with. So I think that putting it right out there - but nicely - that the presence of the OW exacerbates everything they're suffering already, and pointing out the temporary nature of the problem (and the affair, mwaahahaa), helps put it in perspective before it gets blown up any bigger.
A smooth sea never made a skilled mariner.
~ English proverb Neak's Story
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Okay Neak. That sounds great. I will pass on the info to the IMs and I will get them to change their email password because I definitely don't think I would want to be tempted to peak at the response to that one. SHUDDER. Emails sent.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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.............Scotty: Bwaaahaaahaaaaaaaa, come home ya loonie, that's how ya make it easier!!!!!!!! Ahem. Yes, a response........
This made me LMAOIM's, thanks for letting me know. My suggestion is for him to avoid taking the boys around Ms./Mrs. OW Note: normally I'm in favor of calling the OW "adultery partner"; in this instance with a nice dark PB, I want every single thing WH gets to be sweetness and light if possible.) as that makes it even harder for them than this is already. Once the A is over and WH comes home, these types of problems will resolve themselves. Thanks, Scotty That's a starting point for the brainstorming session. Having a kid totally not want to go with their wayward parent is common and understandable, though it can become a serious issue to deal with. So I think that putting it right out there - but nicely - that the presence of the OW exacerbates everything they're suffering already, and pointing out the temporary nature of the problem (and the affair, mwaahahaa), helps put it in perspective before it gets blown up any bigger. Awesome Neak,, this whole post. Great Ideas. Scotty, Everyone slips once in a while. After all you do love him still. Proof that Plan B is being executed just fine. Its noticable that its not well in affairland and WH and/or POSOW are trying to blame this on you. You just stay strong because eventually they will have to look at themselves and see why its not so sweet in paradise, Its them that are stinking it up not everyone else.
Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Okay, so this is what happened today. I asked my IMs sister to become a partner IM for my IMs. My current IMs are not that computer savvy which is why I set the email up for them in the first place. She is going to take over the email part and change the password for me so I won't be tempted anymore. I was getting angrier as the day was going on and I was talking about it with some of my friends. I can see how it would be a good thing for me to get rid of the temptation to read the emails. So, Workday ends, I go outside to get my ride home and my ride is nowhere to be seen. I call their cell phone. BIL's GF says, "It's only 5, we are in X CITY(which is 30 mins away)" I say, "It's actually 545." She says, "Sorry, we'll be right there." So about 30 mins later, I call again. Kids will be home at 630. I say, "Can one of you go to my house to get the kids and the other come and get me?" She says, "Yep, that's what we were going to do." I get home and BIL's GF says, "WH lingered for a while because he was petting Scooch." I told her that I wasn't sure I wanted him to see Scooch. Oh well, what's done is done. I know WH is a dog person and prob misses having pets, but I felt like Scooch was something he would have had to miss out on. I guess now he KNOWS what he is missing a little more. Everyone who sees her says she is CUTE. I will have to get a pic up here to show all of you.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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![[Linked Image from i875.photobucket.com]](http://i875.photobucket.com/albums/ab319/origcowqueen/Scooch/scooch1.jpg) Here she is. And she actually looks CUTER IRL.
Last edited by Scotland; 04/18/10 08:13 PM.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Scotty,
What a cute puppy!!!!!
AnnaBelle Rose
Me: 29 WH:31 DS: 22mths M: almost 6 years, together 7 1/2
I am not a mistake. - ABR
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Awwwww! Scooch is so cute!
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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She is adorable, your very lucky.
Me:BW
Dday:12/31/09-Found MB 01/03/10
3DstepChildren24&20
PlanA:01/03/10
PlanB:03/25/10
D final 11/15/10
"I dare you to find some time and some place to be silent for longer than usual; a few moments, a few minutes, a few hours. Listen to your heart, listen to your soul; and most importantly, listen to the silence to see what it sounds like and how it speaks to you."
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Me 56 Former BS Widowed 5-17-09 --married 25 years. 4 children DS-35 previous marriage--18-22 DGrandSons 6 and 4 Me former BS DD-29 with DGDs 5 and 1yr DSs 26 and 23 Teilhard de Chardin..“We are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience.” ...Sounds about right to me.
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Awww - she's adorable. Enjoy her!
BW (me - 45)
WH - 45
2 DDs
Married 20 years, together 25
DDay Spring 2009
WH moves out Summer 2009 and in with OW
Plan A - 4 months
Very dark Plan B Fall 2009
WH files D Summer 2010
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I get home and BIL's GF says, "WH lingered for a while because he was petting Scooch." I told her that I wasn't sure I wanted him to see Scooch. Oh well, what's done is done. I know WH is a dog person and prob misses having pets, but I felt like Scooch was something he would have had to miss out on. I guess now he KNOWS what he is missing a little more. Everyone who sees her says she is CUTE. I will have to get a pic up here to show all of you. yep..... I think this was a GOOD thing. Between the card, DS admission on wanting to go home, WH seeing the boys light up when they get home, and the puppy breath and puppy eyes.....well I am sure the funk it put WH didn't go over well in Affairland. My H told me once it would physically hurt to come over and see the kids and I doing so well. Almost as if we didn't need him....we did.... But as you are in Plan B, you are not supposed to know or speculate the effects...... I guess I owe YOU a loonie!!!!!..... great job on the IM sitch!!!'......That's a 5 loonie recovery point, so I say you only owe 5 to the jar for this weekends mishap.....  {{{{Scottie}}}}..... you are doing BEAUTIfULLY in Plan B. Your story will be the one we point to for future Plan Ber's...... Not2fun
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