After a little less than 2 weeks out of the house I let WH come home.
It's over. The A is over. I'm not so naive that I believe it isn't going to be HARD, but I can tell a difference this time. He is angry. He is angry with himself, and he is VERY angry with OW. He asked her to leave him alone multiple times and she kept coming up with reasons for him to see her. He was weak.
He has quit his job. He starts a new one the 26th. He has closed all his emails, changed his cell phone #, started reading Surviving an Affair.
Will admit I spoke with OW pretending to be him through email. At first she was soft and curious and ended angry and obviously trying to hurt my WH. It was obvious that she is angry with my husband for calling it quits. "Your email was crystal clear. It is over." At the end I told her it was me. I also told my husband what I had done. It was stupid, but I wanted to see what she was thinking. She is unhappily married. I guess I wanted her to know I am watching ?
My husband and I went to see our counselor Tuesday. She said she thought I had made the right decision...whatever that means.
I am now fully devoting myself to Plan A. For the first time in almost 2 years I feel calm. I am not scared anymore. This is our last chance. He knows it...I know it. I'm all in. I've only got everything to lose.



Full story: Plan B and counseling

This is great news! I shouldn't have to tell you this, but don't contact the OW again, especially pretending to be your Husband....lol.

If he is really on board with MB then you have a pretty good chance at patching things up!

I suggest getting in 20+ hours of UA time together. During this time try to fulfill each others needs. TV and movies do not count, they are too much a distraction. Reading MB books together is also nice.

Keep snooping.

Wash:

Doing the dishes together does count

Great news. Both on board = really good chance.

Larry

Has her husband been told all about the affair?

OW husband knows, both from my emails to him and also by OW according to my WH.
In fact when I told her it was me that she was talking to through email she said "Please do not email me. And do not email my husband. I
promise to return the favor."...so I know he's gotten everything I've sent. She also said she hated that her husband is suspicious of everything she does when she thought she was talking to my WH.

Uh oh just got email from OW husband and he is ANGRY that I exposed the affair to his family. Going to post when I can get on laptop and ask for help.
MelodyLane I'm getting yelled at!!

Sunshine,

You did the right thing exposing to the OW husband......

For me I sent the wife of the OM a copy of SAA.... so at least she could have a clue where I was coming from and give her a plan of survival......

You can't fix their nightmare but you can try to fix yours..... and what you did is a great step towards that.....

I would send a e-mail to him explaining why you did what you did and offer the book , make your self available to coordinate efforts to keep them apart...tell him your allies after the same goal to save your marriages...... If your lucky he'll come around and work with you.... if not you did what you could

Other womans husbands email to me:
"I was just informed that you have apparently taken it upon yourself to inject yourself into my life by contacting at least my mother and possibly other family and friends of mine. I realize your upset with this situation and are more than welcome to deal with it in whatever fashion you choose just as I'm dealing with it in the manner in which I choose. I WILL NOT however allow you to continue to be a thorn in my side by constantly contacting me and my family whenever you feel the need to be vindictive.

I made the decision to not talk to you because frankly I don't want to have anything to do with you or your husband. I chose to block you which to most people would have been a sign that your communication and interaction is not wanted and you take it as a sign to over step and talk to my parents.

I would appreciate it if you would tell me whom you have contacted of my family or xxx (OW)so I can address this situation with them."

Are you sure this is from him, and not written by her? After all, you played that trick on her. Are you sure you have made direct contact with OWH?

You should post this on your existing thread, and keep that thread active. There is no need to start a new thread to continue your story. People will have to search for your other thread to see the context to this email.

bet is it's OW..... I would respond with " I will gladly tell you who I spoke to on the phone. Call me.....". If it was OWH's he'll call, if it's her you'll get nothing.....except possible proof it was her.....

Other womans husbands email to me:
"I was just informed that you have apparently taken it upon yourself to inject yourself into my life by contacting at least my mother and possibly other family and friends of mine. I realize your upset with this situation and are more than welcome to deal with it in whatever fashion you choose just as I'm dealing with it in the manner in which I choose. I WILL NOT however allow you to continue to be a thorn in my side by constantly contacting me and my family whenever you feel the need to be vindictive.

I made the decision to not talk to you because frankly I don't want to have anything to do with you or your husband. I chose to block you which to most people would have been a sign that your communication and interaction is not wanted and you take it as a sign to over step and talk to my parents.

I would appreciate it if you would tell me whom you have contacted of my family or xxx (OW)so I can address this situation with them."

Okay, so he doesn't understand exposure. That's fine. A lot of people don't. He's asked you not to contact him. Respect that, and he and his WW can have their first post-A couples project - let them figure out for themselves who you talked to.

Posted on "My Reality" per SugarCane

hon, this was written by the OW. Her H wouldn't possibly view you as a "thorn in his side." This is the danger of sending emails. I would get the OWH on the phone and get the story to him DIRECTLY. If they live close by, I would drive there.

Also think it is weird, but how would she know I emailed his mom and dad?
I sent him an email back and told him to call me

I don't understand what you mean. You contacted the OW's HUSBAND'S parents? I don't know why you would do that, but if you did, then why wouldn't the OW know?

I thought you said to tell everyone...OW family, OWH family, WS family, etc... so I got on facebook just like you said and sent an email out.
Am I totally screwing up???

Oh no! In that case, there is no problem, I thought you called them specifically. That explains why the OW would know.

When and if the OWH calls, how will you verify it is HIM?

No clue. Ideas? This seems out of control.

Do you live in the same town?