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#2356509 04/17/10 01:14 PM
Joined: Mar 2010
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ok so i was on here about 3 months ago and took all the advice given me and it seems to have failed. I had to leave because after exposure she tried to put me in prison saying i was threatanig her and the cops. now she is being real cold and says that she didnt actually have the affair she admitted to but she said it to hurt me. well I am not doing so hot the suggestion for zanax is a must for this one but i dont have any lol. very dark lol but a lol at that.

I guess what i want is is plan a still working or was it in my case a total failure?


So is staying after my wifes affair a sign of weakness?
rathamar1 #2356763 04/18/10 08:49 AM
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Originally Posted by rathamar1
ok so i was on here about 3 months ago and took all the advice given me and it seems to have failed. I had to leave because after exposure she tried to put me in prison saying i was threatanig her and the cops. now she is being real cold and says that she didnt actually have the affair she admitted to but she said it to hurt me. well I am not doing so hot the suggestion for zanax is a must for this one but i dont have any lol. very dark lol but a lol at that.

I guess what i want is is plan a still working or was it in my case a total failure?

Hello Rathamar,

Did you register under another name 3 months ago? Your only other 6 posts under this name were made on March 1 (7 weeks ago) on a thread entitled can she get over him? and from that thread it's difficult to determine what advice you actually took and applied.

I don't post much but when I see threads with zero replies after several hours, I trigger back to when that happened to me on my first post and try to find out why.

My first impression from what limited thoughts you have shared is that you have a very dysfunctional relationship. You also have a disconnect in your timeline regarding your threads posted here on Marriagebuilders. In addition, if you tried to implement a suggested action (exposure) without first learning about and getting all the details needed (solid proof of A), it's most likely not the advice that failed.

If you do have another thread under another name it would be good to combine that with your March 1 thread and move this post there. (Click on the lower right box marked "notify" and the mods can help you.) But if not, I suggest you move this post there and then explore the questions you asked and the suggestions given on that thread first.

Welcome back to MB, R1. Even if you disagree with the advice given, take time to try to learn and don't discount thoughts that may (or may not) work. You need a plan. If you post honestly and regularly others will help you formulate and act on a solid plan.

Read all the articles and Q & A segments here on this free web site until you understand the basic concepts. Then ask about what you don't get. The best advice you could take is to call the MB counseling center and get professional help. It may seem expensive but a divorce costs far more.

Best wishes in your endeavors,

Ace


FWH/BW (me)57+ M:36+ yr.
4 D-Days: Jun-Nov 06 E/PA~OW#2 (OW#1 2000)
_Ace_ #2356827 04/18/10 11:27 AM
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Originally Posted by _Ace_
Did you register under another name 3 months ago? Your only other 6 posts under this name were made on March 1 (7 weeks ago) on a thread entitled can she get over him? and from that thread it's difficult to determine what advice you actually took and applied.

I don't post much but when I see threads with zero replies after several hours, I trigger back to when that happened to me on my first post and try to find out why.

Ace, you totally nailed the reason for such a thundering non-response.
Folks get weary of trying to drag pertinent info from a reluctant BS.
It's exhausting.
I stop posting to anyone who obviously isn't familiar with MB concepts after their first few posts.
I will not do the footwork for someone else.
I can only shine the light onto the path, it's up to them to take their steps and do their work.
*link* to the MB path - READ/STUDY and ask RELEVANT questions
A lack of effort produces a lack of results (and responses).

It's a shame, but it is what it is.



Pepperband #2356830 04/18/10 11:30 AM
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Amen to that...


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


MelodyLane #2356836 04/18/10 11:38 AM
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Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Amen to that...

Enough Al-anon meetings, and it finally starts to sink in my head ... crazy

LOL grin

MelodyLane #2356841 04/18/10 11:41 AM
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Plus, newbies refusing to READ MB and ask MB relevant questions, turns out to be a decent way to weed out the unmentionables.
(think little green people living under a bridge)


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