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Sorry, but good moms don't have affairs, want to run off with other men, or tear families apart.
But if she was a good wife before, there is lots of hope, because once you are working the MB stuff and the affair ends, just like magic they revert to their old selves.
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Sorry, but good moms don't have affairs, want to run off with other men, or tear families apart.
But if she was a good wife before, there is lots of hope, because once you are working the MB stuff and the affair ends, just like magic they revert to their old selves. I think it's time I just give up on my WW. This just doesn't seem worth it anymore.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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I think it's time I just give up on my WW.
Sounds like Plan "I don't know what else to do", to me.
And by the way, saying "I just give up" .... says nothing.
If you are thinking of divorce, say divorce.
If you are thinking of separation, Plan B.
If you are here on MB to work MB , then stick to a MB plan.
And work it.
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I think it's time I just give up on my WW.
Sounds like Plan "I don't know what else to do", to me.
And by the way, saying "I just give up" .... says nothing.
If you are thinking of divorce, say divorce.
If you are thinking of separation, Plan B.
If you are here on MB to work MB , then stick to a MB plan.
And work it.
Divorce. I'm going into Plan Divorce. Plan D.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Divorce. I'm going into Plan Divorce. Plan D.
You are no longer
"trying everything"
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Divorce. I'm going into Plan Divorce. Plan D.
You are no longer
"trying everything"Well I have some suggestions. How about DormatNoMore or DontLetTheDoorHitYouInTheAss or AndTheHorseYouRodeInOn or TheWitchIsGone or .... well I think you get the point. Having to absorb abuse from a WW does not make you more of a man. I get people want to save messages but I just see no reason when you are being treated in this way. I know when I filed on my XW she changed her mind in a hurry but it was too late. Maybe your wife will wake up when she finds out you are keeping the kids and she can pay you child support. I think that is more likely to wake her up. Be strong my friend. I can tell you that getting rid of a cheater can be a great day in your life. I am so much happier without my XW. In my opinion she still may change her mind just like my wife did. Just protect your kids and be willing to move on without her. Best of luck.
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TE you have been here since 12/28/2090.
You've had four months at doing plan A. Time to file. File for you mental and physical health.
As your lawyer said it's a good sign that WW won't be able to take kids with her. This alone may wake her up.
Serving WW may also cause her to go NC when she is forced to see what she will be giving up by continuing the A. She will not be the first WW that gets defogged when papers are served.
WW may even get dumped by the OM when she shows up saying you can have me full time.
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This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement.
(since you are on MB, I thought you might want to hear some MB-flavoured advice from one of the cool-aid drinkers) 
PLAN B
You can always do Plan D.
Even now, if that is your decision.
However, you have a window of opportunity for Plan B.
That window is now.
If you find Plan B is really really good for you, (meaning you are happy to be rid of her in your life) then Plan D it is.
Here's my concern.
You file for a D, so you can date someone else yourself.
This is often what we witness here .... and dating while in Plan D is a HUGE mistake.
So, which ever "plan" you choose, B or D, do not date until you are a divorced man.
You're still reeling from your betrayal.
The biggest reason to Plan B instead of plan D right now ???
Take upmost care of yourself.
Last edited by Pepperband; 04/18/10 12:54 PM.
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About a month ago, I had told her that by today I wanted an NC letter. She did not deliver that NC letter today. Instead, she told me she wanted to get a divorce.
I asked if she was still in communication with OM. She said, "No." I think she's lying.
I asked if she thinks she and OM have a future together. She said, "I don't know."
Last edited by TryingEverything; 04/18/10 09:36 PM.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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That's probably code for "I think so but he hasn't told me yet."
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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First off, OM lives overseas. His parents live in Massachusetts.
WW and I live in a state down South. WW visits Massachusetts only a few times a year, when OM visits.
How on earth are they going to have a relationship when she is stuck down here because she can't take the kids up North and he is in London?
Long distance relationships are hard enough. This is a long distance relationship with a foundation of ADULTERY!
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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It's called secrecy.
Forbidden fruit.
The fantasy keeps them going because you are evil hubby trying to keep Romeo & Juliet apart.
That's how they view it anyway.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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There's lots of ways. Internet chat, she could have a prepaid phone and you don't know...the list goes on.
One year becomes two, two years becomes five, five becomes ten and before you know it, you've wasted your whole life on a problem you can't solve. That's one way to spend your life. -rwinger
I will not spend my life this way.
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There's lots of ways. Internet chat, she could have a prepaid phone and you don't know...the list goes on. That may be fine for a while, but guys like sex. And they like it more than once a month.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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[quote] The biggest reason to Plan B instead of plan D right now ??? Wow! Now that's some serious guilt you're laying on me. You Catholic by any chance? It breaks my heart every night when I tuck my kids into bed. And I am still considering Plan B, but for now I feel I have to file for D before she does.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Joined: Dec 2009
Posts: 561
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More of the same. WW is being nice to me, but wants a divorce. She wanted to have lunch with me to talk about D, but I canceled.
Waiting on my lawyer now to review my financial affidavit and file.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Posts: 27,069
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Good job.
You are protecting your children, way to go.
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I agree with the plan D.
It doesn't mean you have to let the divorce go final. It puts you in the drivers seat as far as how the divorce progresses. You can make it go as fast or as slow as you want, if you are the one seeking the divorce.
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Thanks Believer and Enlightened.
Enlightened, you wrote some good stuff on my "Fogged Out" thread earlier today. Thanks a lot.
BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011
Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Posts: 35,996
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Wow! Now that's some serious guilt you're laying on me. You Catholic by any chance?
I am not laying guilt.
Just reminding you of the facts, as stated by you.
It breaks my heart every night when I tuck my kids into bed. And I am still considering Plan B, but for now I feel I have to file for D before she does.
If that is what your attorney has advised.
Usually, that puts your foot on the accelerator, or the brake, your choice.
Then, you can stall and plan B. (if you want to stall)
If her head stays up her butt, you'll end up divorced one way or the other.
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