Haven't told her yet...will do and post later

chop, chop, my friend!! Tell everyone what she did! Especially your daughters. They have to know what is going on here. If oyu don't tell them the truth, your WW will tell them lies.

Why is everything my fault? I have "ruined" lives...Is this the fog talking. You all are right, WW is madder than a wet cat.

Excellent - she is going by the book, so your plans will work out just fine.

Thanks...that's what I figured

Well duh, you took away her crack pipe. Did you think she was going to thank you for that? Did we mention she would be angry at exposure but that you must do it to break up the affair?

Quit talking relationship talk with her right now. It's a love buster. A disrespectful judgment and sometimes selfish demands. Right now all she hears when you talk relationship talk is "I know what I'm doing, you don't, you're an idiot, we're going to do this my way because it's best" and so on. Just drop the relationship talk for now. Meet her ENs if she'll let you, and avoid LBs (including DJs - relationship talk) at all costs.

Thanks Turtlehead...Since she won't let me meet her EN's right now I'll refrain from LB's and give her space

At this stage, is it normal for WW to not want me to show affection towards her?

YES

What does "give her space" mean exactly? What is going on?

Seriously, pretend she is a drug addict going through a court-ordered dry-out period. She is going to be mean and hateful. She won't want you to hug or touch her because in her eyes you are the judge that sentenced her to this hell she's going through.

So don't talk relationship talk, don't tell her "I love you" all the time, dont' try to hug and touch her.

However, do know that right now she is probably telling herself how wonderful OM is and how horrible you are. So the more EN meeting you can do, the better. What did she complain about before the affair? Should you be helping out more with housework? Spending less time on the computer? Being more involved with the family? Do those things. Make yourself an attractive option.

Be the best jlowesd you can be, and ignore her tantrums. IF she will allow you to meet ENs directly (i.e. take her to dinner or a picnic or something) then by all means jump at the opportunity, but don't expect it yet and don't fret if she's non-stop hostile.

Again: wife is a drug addict on a forced dry-out and it is ALL YOUR FAULT. That doesn't mean you don't love her and can't be a good husband. It just means she's about as sweet as a wet mongoose right now.

OK...there are times when I think that I'm absolutely insane so I'm just trying to take things one day at a time and keep telling myself I WILL BE ALRIGHT.

It's just so dang hard...I find myself caught between should I cut bait or continue Plan A and be patient and provide WW with a soft place to land.

Such is the life of a BS!

OK...thanks Turtlehead

I meant refrain from love busters and relationship talk...space was a bad choice of words

It sucks. But don't try and overanalyze her every move. I would break things down into 3 week intervals. How did she act towards you in this 3 week period versus the previous 3 week period? It's baby steps.

Is she still on contact w/ OM or has exposure cut that off? Can you verify?

Contact with OM has waned considerably but there is still contact.

Why? Your marriage will not improve as long as there is contact. In fact, it will get worse. You need to be the man of the house and nip this contact in the butt. Block his number and email address. Do what you have to do, but don't lay down and allow your marriage to further unravel.

Personally, I would make OM's life hell until he stopped contacting my WW (which is exactly what I did). Continuing to expose him to whoever you can works well because it is not a lovebuster to your WW and it kills the affair as well.

This is what my instincts always tell me to do, and I can guarantee, it's wrong!

For a better model, hunt up what Mark1952 did for his wife.

Just had another "conversation" with WW...no LB's from me...I didn't back down from labeling the "friendship" an affair. I told her I don't think that she is an awful person just that the affair is wrong and hurtful.

Got the following with rage in her voice:

Call it what you want.
I've ruined lives and that will be on me forever.
My behavior is irrational.
WW never knows what she is coming home to.
Only here for the kids
Thinks I need to be on medication
Stronger than she has been in years (I reminded her that she is having an affair and someone else desires her)
Doesn't even want to be friends right now (that is up to me and my behavior)
Love was lost in our marriage last year
I'm in denial
Keep believing what you want to believe

I remained calm throughout the entire conversation.

I seriously don't even recognize this woman any more.

Offer her some pie, jlowes..

Sounds like its going well. Hang in there!!