Well y'all....prolly should be on a different area in postings so forgive me in advance. I've been away for a long while hope everyone is doing well!

It's a been a journey for me that's for sure! I am very thankful for all the advice, help and friendships I have gained from the MB forums! Though the marriage did not recover,I fought for the marriage and couldn't have done it without y'all here! I have no regrets and think MB was the best tool and chance for saving a marriage.


Why am i posting now?? Well tomorrow is my 2 year dday anniversary and believe it or not i am feeling great and just wanted to update!

What I really loved about Dr. Harley and this forum is recovery was never mentioned to me in the respect of ONLY my marriage but everyone here also mentioned personal recovery. I think that is sooooo important and that's the path I walk.

So what am I up to these days? I finally filed for divorce the last few days of last year, should be signing off here real soon. H is still with the Sea Hag, and the great thing is it doesn't matter to me. I am no longer willing to ever take him back. I found out since this journey began that my ex has a few more issues than just adultery. (porn, alcohol, anger etc) I am not willing to live with that. I am more important and my kids are more important.

H has still never brought the kids around the sea hag, and for that I am forever grateful. My kids made it abundantly clear how they felt about her and I was determined to fight for them. I even have him agree in the D to not bring the kids around her so visitation is set every other weekend at his moms an hour from the barf shack!!! Now hows that for being my babies advocate.

I have relocated to a pretty darn small apt with the kids. I knew once i filed i would have to downsize a lot but asked the kids how they felt and they said as long as were together it doesnt matter, so here we are. We are all pretty happy. I started junior college in January and will be finishing my 1st semester in 3 weeks. This 20 yr stay at home mom is on her way to a career in a few years. I am back at church again and singing again and also singed up for bible school too. Hopefully in a few short years I may be ordained too. Still going to the gym and getting out there and doing things I never thought.

I never ever thought 2 years later that I could say I am now pretty content and happy for the most part. I am thankful for personal recovery and all who helped me see that recovery isn't only a marriage but it's also us! Do I still have days filled with challenges?? Yes as does everyone in life. I just give it to God, pray and keep going. I've found that in every crisis that there are opportunities and spoils to be gained. That opportunity was gaining myself!

Much Love,
T2L

I wasn't around to follow your story, but I think it is wonderful that you gained yourself in this process. That is my hope as well.

T2L, just popped in and thought that I was seeing things!

Thanks for updating everyone. You are a Goddess.

So good to see you again. Been wondering about you.

Thanks for giving an update and giving hope to the newbies.

What is your daughter doing?

Nice to hear from you T2L. Glad things are working out. Personal recovery is pretty cool, isn't it!

DD19 has just registered and will be starting a school for sonography. Its a 2 yr. program and she starts in June.

DD11 is doing splendid, he has been sleeping in his bed since April of last year. He is back in regular school again and ready to play football again starting in August.

And I have thought of you as well how are you?

Yes Tabby it is! I had been with H since I was 14 so I never saw a life with out him, but it is sooooo possible. When the affair first happens all you can think about is the marriage, and that's ok. But I think within it I wished that I had really put alot more into finding out who I am and what I want. But again I have no regrets, it's all a part of my story.

Awe thanks Pep! Yes, and ya know what I still think its going to blow up eventually and I'm not going to be there to pick up his pieces. I don't say that in a spiteful way either. That's his bed he's going to have to lie in. The day will come I am sure of it when he thinks OMG what have I done.

I am still cordial to him, even when he is not. DD19 says how do you do it mom? I say ya know what, I'm not going down that ugly road. I can now say ya know what unless this convo is positive, I'm not it it and i say goodbye.

Once I decided after 15 months of fighting for marriage(July 2009) I let him know and went NC as best I could. You guys remember how stir crazy NC was for me. But I have to say its been a blessing. It allowed me to pull away, clear my darn heard, get away from the emotion of it and just breath.

Hahaha...and you are a Goddess to my friend!

Good for you! Plan A your butt off! There is so much good advice on how to do a strong Plan A. Do me a favor, while you PA find out who you are. Find out those desires and things you may have forgotten, that maybe made you, you. That's what attracted H in the first place. I started salsa lessons during PA. I was so miserable but for that 1 hour I laughed and smiled and still to this day take an occasional class. I had to learn how to get a life for myself as crazy as that sounds.

You so rock and I'm so proud of how far you've come!! Hmmm, so will we have to call you Rev. Trying2Live? I think you should change your screen name to LivinItUp. Rev. LivinItUp sounds so much better.

Ewe I like that! And I have you to thank as well!! Muah!

T2L, I often wonder about you and how you are doing? I am so glad that you are doin well...Best of luck to you. Thanks for taking the time out to update us.