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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688 |
Barbie,
Do you believe me now that someone else has asked the same questions and made some of the same observations?
I had to post that 2x4 to you because of what I saw - an attempted analysis of why your H rated his satisfaction at a 7.5 which has (until now) been devoid of any discussion about what you can do to raise that score. No, I do not believe there is the same info here. If you want to argue, PLEASE don't do it here.
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993
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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,993 |
Marriage HAS to have a balance of Giver and Taker in BOTH people to work. However, how they balance out is based on you - it may not be 50% taker 50% giver.
Barbie, you may be happy giving and serving. There is nothing wrong with that. The problems arise when the giving comes at the expense of the self and contains even a hint of resentment. That resentment can fester and motivate the Taker to retaliation.
I don't think that being more a Giver or a Taker factors into how invested you are in the marriage or in your overall happiness with that marriage. I could see how a Giver could be miserable or a Taker very happy with their marriage and vice a versa.
Giver and Taker about care of others and care of self. The ratio between the two in an individual could vary. However BOTH must be satisfied in BOTH members of a marriage for happiness with the marriage to occur.
Happiness comes from within. Happiness in marriage comes from both members having full love banks. So Barbie's husband rated his happiness lower than hers. She probably knows what she can do to raise that if she wants. But I don't think his happiness has much to do with him being more a Taker and her being more a Giver.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2008
Posts: 1,688 |
Me; W 46
Him; H 46
2 girls
DD19
DD16
Dated/Married total 28 years.
..I am learning and working on myself.
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,513
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Member
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,513 |
No, I do not believe there is the same info here. If you want to argue, PLEASE don't do it here. Barbie, I don't want to argue and, I'll exit your thread now. Good luck to you.
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