(((Scotty)))

Waywards suck. There's just nothing else to say. My WH would have probably said the exact same thing that yours did.

(((DS7 and DS9)))

Waywards are not capable of thinking about anyone except themselves.

Forget about him - think about you and the boys.

I don't know if DS7 can benifet from this scotty but heres my take on the puppy and the other dog, WH.

If you can explain that the puppy is confused and scared and needs him to teach him maybe DS7 will be able to turn this frustration into something he can use for his own little sweet heart.

Maybe telling him that the puppy does not know his place yet and while your showing him, (like you allready are), you are accually helping the puppy to calm down. Like the puppy can't control himself because he can't understand what he is doing wrong. Not that he won't, but he can't. That way he can feel sympathy for him. Then when he is doing the exercizes with you he will be doing something he can be proud of.

Tell him the puppy absolutly needs to know his place or he will never be happy and will allways be scared. Once he learns his place and knows what he can and can't do he will no longer hurt you. You guys are like God to the Puppy and he is counting on you to love him by showing him his place so he is not lost and confused.


As far as Daddy goes, God is waiting to teach him his place. When he does he will no longer hurt people either. God put you in charge of the puppy and God is in charge of WH.


Maybe thats too much for DS7 to understand but its easy for me to understand.

There is a saying not quite sure where it comes from but I hear spiritual ppl say it.

"Even a Dog knows where its food bowl is"



Sorry you are haveing a hard time. lately


((((SCOTTY))))

Thanx SSO, I will try that. DS9 is doing GREAT with the training so far. DS7 sees the results and is now also trying it out.

Just got home from Dairy Queen. Went with Mom, Dad and DSx2. Got to throw out a little more of the DrH and MB concepts. Told my mom that affairs are based in fantasies and that you most always AFFAIR DOWN. She agreed. She is at a funny place and I don't know the right way to nudge her. I feel like she has actually flipped her sitch from before and now she is almost having the A with my Dad. Whenever she leaves him she asks when she is going to talk to him again. My Dad is losing his love and FAST. I don't know how he does it. I guess my Mom and POSOM were at the Casino yesterday and my Dad walked by. How WEIRD. My mom doesn't see anything wrong with talking about her POSOM while with my Dad. Sick SICK SICK. Well, I am doing my best for me and my family

She has read SAA right? Does she come to the site and read all Dr Hs other info? How about yur Dad?


You are living above all that affairland foggyheaded fantasyland crap that hurts everyone, esspecially children. As we are children of God


If your Mom and Dad get back together they will need to get help to put the past behind and rebuild the marriage scotty. Be glad God gave you the common sense to see how sick people can become without boundaries that protect us all.

She is still reading SAA. She is not on this site although I have told her about it. My Dad is not tech savy at all and doesn't read well. I am a little too drained to deal with them right now. Yesterday was an especially hard day for me. I got over it. I retained some of my anger towards WH though so I could make sure that BAR is set HIGH. Not so that it is unattainable, just high enough to make sure I don't get a half-azzed attempt at R(if I ever get that chance). I want a REMARKABLE attempt at R. My WH doesn't know how right he is, R wouldn't be EASY, for either of us. WATURDS SUCK AZZ. There I feel much BETTER.

Sleep over??? Your boys are too smart for that to happen!

DS9 didn't even make any mention of that part at all. I am waiting for the day when he wants to though. Legally, I can't keep them away from the "love nest" I know that DS7 won't want to sleep there. DS9 is Daddy's boy and to his credit, WH was a great Dad pre-A. I think DS9 still remembers him that way and can't wait to see his Daddy come resurface.

Scotty,

Why can't you legally prevent them from being around OW? You aren't divorced, and I thought I read someone else's thread last summer that said he could prevent his children from being around OM (and he was in Canada, too).

My WH used to be a great dad, too - even though he wasn't the greatest husband sometimes. He was always a great dad, and I used to tell him that all the time. (You would have thought that would count toward admiration, huh? It didn't though).

Anyways, once WH starting changing his morals, DDs started to notice (even before I did). They knew something was wrong and different about their dad, and they started complaining about it. And now, they don't see their dad at all (at least not the guy that they knew him once to be). Mr. Conservative now has hoop earrings, dyed hair and a fake tan (I haven't noticed all this as I have not seen WH, but this is what I hear). DD8 says he isn't HER dad at all.

I hope Daddy resurfaces for your son, Scotty. If he does, maybe his morals will come back, too and you will get that chance for a great R.

((((Scotty))))

I don't know about the person from last summer, I just know what happened with my sister and BIL. That's what I am going on.

"Help me? Right over a CLIFF you'll help me!!!"
~Parent Trap

Well, this morning, at 6am, I decided to do Operation:Olive branch part deux. I wrote out what Neak wrote(the want ad) and I put Top Gun in a bag with the CD I was supposed to get last time.

I put on a dress, high heels and a jean jacket. I did my hair up nicely and put some makeup on. I walked out when he got here. He was wearing a golf hat(One more thing he will have to get rid of when/if he comes home), mod robes(which he used to wear as PJs), his flight jacket(I told you that Top Gun would be extremely appropriate) and a ratty long sleeve T. He saw me and instantly would not look at me. Barely even acknowledged my existence. I handed him the bag, which he took. I then held his arm and said, "I haven't lost that loving feeling." He didn't pull away, I did. I walked to the door without looking back. Then when I reached the door, I looked at him. I waited until he got into the truck. He opened the door and looked up at me. I turned around and walked away.

I came inside to change(can't wear a dress or heels to work). I noticed he stayed for a few minutes. Then I left for work and I didn't really get affected like last time.

While I was writing this, the kids came home. I asked them what Daddy did with the movie this time. DS7 said, "He had the bag in his hand when we were leaving." DS9 looked on the porch and there was the movie and CD along with the key to the car in our driveway(which doesn't work anyways). I wasn't totally shocked that he returned the movie. I will admit that I am slightly disappointed. I wanted to cry a little but I am over it(for now). Not going to think about it for another couple of months.

Went for a walk with Scooch, took the kids to 7-11. Re-focusing on me and what is good for me.

Like water on the Wicked Witch of the West...did you hear him start to sizzle?

Who knows, Scotty, you may have had more of an affect than he let on... I guess I'm just overly hopeful, too much for my own good I think.

Plus he knows OW will cook his goose if any more unexplained (or worse yet, explained) items show up at the house.

Cuz if she asks in front of the boys where it came from and he tries to lie, there will def be a brave little trooper there to say, "But Daddy, I saw Mommy give it to urbleufflemuffle - hey, get your hand off my mouth!"

I agree with ABR. You are in his head- whether he wishes to show it or not.

Keep focusing on what is good for you, like you are.

Don't worry about what I am thinking about. NO EXPECTATIONS RIGHT? Now off to helping the people who feel lost and alone. Also, I need to figure out what I am going to do with my life. I have had some people give me leads on jobs at banks. I just need a mon-fri day job. Are there any of those left anymore? HAHAHAHA

No expectations.

The mantra we live by in B.

Sounds like you executed Operation: OB perfectly, Scotty. As usual: Good Work.

"No expectations." That's much easier written than done. You continue to inspire.

opt

Yes Scotty that was probably most of why he left it. Don't worry he was affected. You were perfect BTW in how you did it.


Yes no expectations just know you are awesome and represent love that the OW could never have .

Don't underestimate the power of responsibility he feels for OW. He doesn't see that in the long run he is hurting her by enabling this relationship. In his mind you are strong ans settled. She is weak and helpless. Its part of the being needed thing going on with him. He doesn't think his actions will have a long term effect on you, the boys or him.

Lets face it, his thinking is flawed but his ego/feelings are getting in the way of who he can truly be.

Lets pray that God gets ahold of his conscience and has a little meeting with him and asks him why hes wearing that figleaf. Hes not fooling anyone.


In my prayers