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Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 34
Member
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Member
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 34 |
And even when it's not a top need (seems to be rare that it isn't a top need for either the H or the W, however), most couples seem to go through the "hysterical bonding" thing and YES it's very good and very healing in recovery. Ok, that's what I thought as well. It was just the terminology that kinds of makes it sounds like a put-off. I think that's where we are right now as well.....
BS(me)-39 WH -35
met 1994 married 1999
DD Mar 19, 2010
nc Mar 21
son 6
son 4
daughter 10m
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769
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Joined: Nov 2004
Posts: 1,769 |
The way I interpreted the question was that the sexual desire towards WS is during the A.
It happened to me both times. First A, H was willing to have sex with me and later on said that he did it in a "mechanical" way to keep me from losing it....
Second A he did not want to have sex with me period. At the beginning I did not know he was in an A and he simply refused to have sex with me. Never initiated it and when I did he refused. The last week we spent together he moved to a separate room. By then I had just found out about the A and tried to initiate sex 2-3 times. But again, nothing...he refused.
That was the sign he was really over with me and the M.
As far as wanting to have sex during the A: I thougth I was sick to want it. Risky as well, but I still did it in the hope to win him back and also because I felt so rejected and the sex with him told me that somehow he still found me attractive...
blessing
atena
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