I haven't been here for awhile,, the post the post are extremely useful, but I thought maybe I was using them to keep false hope. I know this board cannot give guaranteed answers but, I look,,,,, So, why do I still feel so bad? H left over a year ago...and sometimes I feel just like a little puppy waiting for him to come thru that door. He is showing me NO signs of hope so why do I cling .....I analyze every move he makes....He calls sometimes for some of the silliest reasons, and I have to think "well it's because he is not happy" Could it be he just called. Geez...the papers came the other day final hearing set for 1st week in Dec. There is nothing more I can do? Somedays I think I can still smell his cologne, isnt that the dumbest thing. Today, he and OW are having a birthday party for my daughter and I'm home bawling my eyes out. His family is there and my 9 yr old called to ask me a question and I could hear everybody laughing in the back ground....His life is just going on .....same things just different lady. I tried going out, Ick. It just makes things worse....I want my H back. Does anybody have something to say to this crybaby...I truley am going crazy... <BR>

Dear CBS,<P>First of all, you must remember that you are not alone! You are going through a very difficult time in your life right now, and you have the right to be sad, angry, depressed, etc. It's hard. Just remember three little words--- NOTHING IS FOREVER. The only three words that can make you both happy and sad, depending on your perspective. I read something a couple of weeks ago that has stuck with me. "The greatest threat to recovery is loss of hope."<BR>That is the hope, and belief that you will get through this, you will be happy again. You have to beleive that. It's probably too soon for you to see other people. You'll know when you're ready. Try to concentrate on yourself right now-- making yourself happy. Buy yourself a little treat every week; flowers, a cup of gourmet coffee or tea, or whatever makes you smile. Indulge yourself in small ways. Reach out to other people. I read something yesterday that said that God comes to us through people. I really believe that. Most of all, know that we all feel for you, and know what you're going through. Take care and God Bless...