uh, he did what - asked his MOM to look for him a house....and his sister......?????

hmmm.....you want it to be his idea that you move into a house his mommy picked out for him? How long are the apron strings?

I'd like to echo something AGG said. "No relationship is perfect" is classic rationalization. Good, healthy, strong romantic relationships feel perfect. Do you occassionally get on one another's nerves? Yes. Are there times when your partner lets you down? Yes. But they are MINOR, like when Mike refused to drive an hour up to my house knowing that I had had to shut the water off because I had a leak. I was mad and frustrated and disappointed. I got over it. Then there was the time he remembered my birthday but forgot he was supposed to show up at my mother's for my 40th birthday party. I called him and he drove up. And even though at the time they occurred I saw them as yellow flags, in the big picture, they were isolated incidents. Was Mike perfect? No. Was he perfect for me? YES.

A well-balanced relationship with someone who is highly compatible with you in terms of habits, communication style,values, etc, feels perfect. There's a big difference between saying "no one is perfect" and "no relationship is perfect." Again, recommended reading is "Will Our Love Last?"

There is nothing to forgive about my "sarcasm" remark...whatever I say here is meant to help you and spare you future pain with this man and you don't seem to want to face it. You said you're not in denial or you wouldn't be on this site, but plenty of people on forums are in denial and don't want to heed the good advice they're given, you seem to be one of them. You strike me as desperate and settling because you don't want to be alone. I understand that feeling, when you have a husband pass away, you are very vulnerable...that's where I was when my ex found me, and believe me, I wouldn't want you to go through what I went through with him. Please look out for yourself. Show respect for yourself by setting clear boundaries...slow down this relationship, do not move in with him, don't give him any private information that could lead to identity theft, keep yourself protected and secure. You have not known him long enough! I knew my ex 1 1/2 years before we married and that turned out to be not long enough! Be independent! You can still enjoy life and relationships by keeping it at a friendship longer. I'm not for living together before married (read the statistics) but if you do, the two of you should be picking out the place, not his mom and sister...why would they pick out a place for you, do they know your taste and your needs better than you do? Something isn't smelling right in his treatment of you. Get over your feelings about me and listen to what I'm saying. You have a lot of people telling you the same thing...if it walks like a duck, quacks like a duck, it probably is...a duck.

I would not recommend buying a house with a man you are not married to . I know people who have done that, it goes well for a while, but then something happens to hurt the relationship. Since they are not married, its easy to leave, except that they both own the same house. What a mess!!! I think it is easier to get a divorce than sell a house these days.

True, I know someone who is going through that, his wife has had a BF since before Christmas and they are getting divorced but still have to live together! I can't even imagine that kind of tension...