Another agreement here that he acted as he was supposed to act to the exposure.

Waywards get hissing, spitting made and say evil, awful threats and stomp off like babies having not had their way. It is THE reaction always mentioned on MB. The man is following the wayward 'script' so far. That is good. Means the MB plans may work.

You could just plan A for a while and have the juncture you choose to go to B.

His reaction isn't something TO react TO, yk?

To get you started on your boundary list, here is a link to page 5 of my story, where Boundary List #1 is contrasted with Boundary List #2, in about the 7th post down.
Boundary Lists

Ok, so have decided to go Plan A for a few more days until the dust settles, and by that time hopefully I will be able to see farther than a foot in front of me, WH will have a place, and we can move forward in Plan B.

QUESTION:

WH bought tickets a while ago to go see a magic show with OW on Sunday. He says he wasn't even sure they were still going, because they had agreed not to see each other, but after the huge blowup yesterday they for sure are not. He has now offered the ticket to me.

Now, I have SO many conflicting emotions on this it's not even funny. a) wtf?? He has NEVER planned anything like that with me, ever! b) How weird is that, to go on a date with WH that he was supposed to go on with OW? Kind of turns my stomach. And lastly, c) Even though it makes me sick, I kind of want to go, to "reclaim" my territory and replace memories, so to speak.

What should I do??????????

I would go, no question about it.

There will come a time when you won't accept the OW's leavings. For now, he asked you, and you have a chance to go and make some great Plan A love deposits.

Show him how glad he is he took you, and not her!

To clarify, there will come a time where, if you decide to keep him, he won't just be "OW leavings" like he is now.

I also would go. I was screaming in my head while I was reading, "GO GO GO." No expectations though. He is NOT your DH right now, he is your WH. It will most likely be awkward and he may even anger you. Just be prepared to put on that happy PLAN A face and have a good time. Maybe you can make yourself a bet on how awfully awkward it will be and if you win you do something GREAT for yourself. If you lose you do something SPECTACULAR for yourself.

Absolutely go! Great plan A moment.

LOL!! I love this idea, Scotland! The best part is that I'll lose either way and deserve that treat! It's DEFINITELY going to be awkward though. How could it not be?

Crazy story if you believe in these kinds of things. Our fantastic cleaning lady is also a Reiki healer and she has psychic powers. She said the first time she met WH, she knew his intent to be unfaithful by the second or third time she shook his hand. And, because WH has nothing he keeps sacred in our marrige, INCLUDING OUR HOUSE, he recommended this lady to OW as well. OW told our cleaner all about her divorce the first time they met and when she hugged her at the end, our cleaner said just at the contact, she KNEW WH was in the middle of the marriage, but she didn't want to believe it. She told me all kinds of things, including the fact that one of her other workers went ballistic while I was away bc WH asked him to make sure his wedding ring was in the right spot, and her worker said there was only one reason a man doesn't wear his wedding ring while his wife is away. True enough.

I told her about the A because D-Day #1 was a day she was supposed to come, and I cancelled. She didn't say so at the time, but just today she told me all about how she had known, and how WH's behaviour while I was away just confirmed it. She said she also had sensed another energy in our house, including our bedroom, while I was away and she didn't know what to do - tell me or not.

Anyway, she's coming to do a reading for me tonight. I have sooooo many questions for her.

I'm not sure how to say this tactfully, but I would advise NOT consulting with psychics and others like them.


I'm sure this lady is a lovely person, and I know God loves her very much. However, I would urge you to look to God and His word for guidance, and not the feelings and impressions of a psychic.

Edited to add "not" in a very crucial place.

I wondered if you'd be able to resist saying something. Apparently you couldn't. Not that that's a BAD thing! I think, though, you meant to say you advise against consulting with psychics, not that you "advise" it. If that's not what you meant, you weren't listening very carefully to me all those years of your childhood.

tl

DOH!!! *slaps forehead*

I'll go right back and fix that.

Don't worry. Even though you had that minor HUMAN mistake in there, I still knew what you meant and I am sure others did as well.

Lol! I know, I know! It sounds insane. And being a good catholic girl, I have never dabbled in ouiji boards or tarot or anything like that. Goes to show you how desperate I am now. I just want to hear what she can tell me and see what she says about the future....

And yes, I am sure God loves her. He loves everyone, including cheating adulterers, sadly.

I miss WH. Making myself NOT call or text him tonight.

Oh my. I remember feeling that way too. I used to tell my friends that if they said, "In 2 years, WH would come home and you will have a MARVELOUS marriage," then I could do it. I could get through it knowing the outcome. Guess what? I still don't know the outcome and I feel better than I have in almost 2.5 years. Plan B isn't easy but the rewards are GREAT. The moments in between the bad ones seem to get further apart and seem better. The bad moments seem to not affect me as badly.

No crystal ball. There is this though, DrH has done this for a REALLY long time(longer than I have been alive). He says that he has seen certain things and I BELIEVE him. I am doing my best to follow the MB concepts he has set out, as closely as I possibly can. That is because I have FAITH in what he says. I KNOW that this will lead me to where I am supposed to head. Why else would it speak to me so well?

You'll get past this speedbump. Just remember to ACT not REACT. You do things that go along with YOUR plan and not worry about what he is doing.

Not to clog up Ark's thread I thought I would address this here.


They think that this is what is best for you. They see that you are in pain and think that if you just move on that you will feel better. They mean well.

That being said, you need to do what YOU need to do. I found that at first everyone told me I should just kick him out. Heck, people still are trying to get me to get interested in dating. I just reiterate that I am still MARRIED. Their eyes BUG out. I look at them and say, "well, I AM. My Husband may be off living in fantasy world, but I am married." They of course also say things like, "I wouldn't think about taking my husband back if he did that to me." How many of us said that EXACT same thing? Before I had children, I would have most likely just moved on. After, I felt like I had a greater LIFELONG connection that will always be there.

When I read on these forums that it IS possible, I decided, "What do I have to lose?" I mean really? It's not like I would be dating again any time soon(I actually don't see me EVER dating again). What would happen? I would become a personally recovered person who would then KNOW how to be in a GREAT Marriage. That didn't sound to shabby to me.

Had an interesting time with the reading last night. She did some numerology and said WH and I are not only the same number but the highest number (22), indicating a high level of soul connection - as in, we are soulmates. Then we did a tarot reading and the cards showed that the only thing stopping our growth is him (no surprise). It can change but it's up to him right now. Obviously.

I'd never done anything like that before so it was interesting. Hard to know what to feel.

With WH at his mom's right now I am having mixed feelings. I miss him and at the same time it's nice to be away from the drama for awhile. I didn't contact him once he left yesterday, around 6 pm. He finally txt'd me at midnight to say he was there safe and thank you for packing his stuff so nicely (what can I say, wanted to leave him a great memory!). I didn't answer - partially bc I didn't want to ask if he'd just arrived, and who he was with the other 4 hrs after he left, and partially bc I didn't want to. Sent a txt back this morn just saying "good. And ur
welcome." I don't think I should contact him again.

The reason Christians are not to consult psychics or dabble in such things is because when we are vulnerable, there is a chance of evil breaking through our defenses.

Please think about this before consenting to anymore "readings".

The reason Christians are not to consult mediums or psychics is because God says we shouldn't do it.


Mark

All debates about mediums aside.... I feel so lost and need direction.

Had a call from OW H this morning and from chatting we concluded our WS met up last night, prob on my husband's way out of town. Went to my mom's all day to distract myself from missing WH and I was ok until about 6 pm when I left for home. All of a sudden felt this crushing sadness, like part of me was missing, like a big hole in my life. I have never felt so bleak. Can't believe how much I miss WH. This is awful. And he's not even really gone yet!!!!

Oh but he is gone. Right now you miss your DEAR husband. The man who you live with is your wayward husband. Your dear husband would not lie to you and was a good man. Your WH is a stranger that you don't know. You need to mourn your DH as right now, he is not there anymore.