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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818 Likes: 7 |
... I've also been in Gerka's shoes.
...
I've been in your shoes man. CH, I understand where you are coming from, and I have voiced my concerns as well, but the one thing your forgetting is... we don't know Gerka or his WW. You missed it ... ConfuzedHusband said he has been in Gerka's shoes. The only way that could really be true is if he was married to Gerka's wife. So I guess he does know her, given what he said. (Confuzed, if you're reading, please take this to heart: you have been in a situation that was similar in some respects, but you still don't know enough about this situation to know if recovery is possible or not.) For the record, Gerka expressed his wish that we all not to respond to helpthelostdads when he was saying essentially the same thing here: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/ubbt/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=2360459#Post2360459He also indicated he wished htld would quit posting. So, in the future, my policy is going to be to just click notify moderators and let them know all this, including that link. Maybe we could do that and move any extra discussion over here, so as not to sidetrack Gerkaguards' thread any further. Incidentally, I notice that Confuzed has already posted essentially the same thing once before: http://forum.marriagebuilders.com/u...in=159859&Number=2362399#Post2362399So I guess he feels like if he doesn't get the results he wants the first time, he can keep trying?
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
I read most of the BH's threads, but I typically don't post on them ........most of the time.
Except when people start clammoring Anti-MB rhetoric.
Last edited by tst; 04/29/10 03:34 PM. Reason: added
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: May 2002
Posts: 6,087
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Joined: May 2002
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Hey Marks - Thanks for taking this off of Gurka's thread!
CH & HTLD - I have absolutely NO issues with your perspective or advice based on your personal experiences. I've mentioned is before... I can not begin to know 1/2 of the pain that you have suffered while going through your experiences, and I my comments were not meant to minimize your pain.
My issue with your advice is that it is contrary to what Gurka is asking for. Doesn't mean that your advice is invalid or "wrong"? Not at all, it just means that at the present time, it's not advice that Gurka wants to hear.
Based on situations that I've observed here over the years, I've seen many BH's that weren't able to save their M that divorce and continue to search out new BH's and start providing advice on why the new BH should "Cut & Run".
I agree that at times, "Cut & Run" is by far THE best option for many situations... In Gurka's case, he has said that he still wants to fight fo his M.
Gurka may decide to end his M, and if that happens, then I'm sure that Gurka will appreciate any and all advice that you can provide based on your exeperiences.
It's a matter of timing... Let's give Gurka time to sort this out an decide what HE wants to do.
Semper Fi,
RIF
Me, BS
Her, Forgiven
Married Dec 86
Multiple A's that ended '90
Rebuilding In Faith since then...
Currently deployed to Iraq, but TEXAS is Home!
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