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Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1
Junior Member
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Junior Member
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1 |
Wow - where do I begin. Well I'll make a long story short. Got with my DH when I was 18. Cheating began by him. I forgave. Then I became distant..he was trying to make it work...then I cheated. Then he cheated, then I cheated and finally he cheated. This is over a 15 year period. Went to counseling and came to learn that both of us are scared of true intimacy with each other. We lost how to trust and when we didn't get what we needed, we went outside the marriage. NOW - we are trying and I gotta tell you it is HARD. There is so much damage we have to repair and trust that needs to be built. It's going on a year since the last one and the good news is for the first time we BOTH want to work it out at the same time. We have kids and basically a decent life. Question I have is do you think we can mke it work? Does anyone know or been in a similar siutation? WOndering what happened after both people finally tried.
How people treat you is their karma. How you react is yours. Men are not punished for their sins, but by them.
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Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146
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Member
Joined: Nov 2007
Posts: 3,146 |
MB was designed to work perfectly for your situation!
Recovery began 10/07;
Meeting my wife's EN's is my "thank you" that refuses to be silenced.
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 200
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 200 |
We have kids and basically a decent life. Question I have is do you think we can mke it work? Does anyone know or been in a similar siutation? WOndering what happened after both people finally tried. Not only can you make it work you have an obligation to your children to make it work. It sounds like you both have created a very difficult situation for yourselves however I have some questions for you. 1) Do you want it to work? 2) What are you willing to do to make it work? 3) Are you two willing to commit to changing and not give up when you have a problem? 4) Why do you want to make it work? Blessings BCBoy
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
How did the both of you meet your OP's?
Were any of the OP's repeat OP's?
Is there NC with these OP's?
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094
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Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 2,094 |
tst is right. If you both commit to the MB program, whole heartedly, you might one day have a M you and your children can and will be proud of. BC and TR have asked extremely important questions for you both to ask and answer yourselves and to each other with 100% openness and honesty.
At some point you should plan on counseling with the Harleys. Sooner than later.
Has your husband signed in to the site? You may want to promise to stay off each other's threads, but he should be here as well.
opt
Me: 43 y.o. BFWH, D-day 11/11/09 (NC since 9/01) Divorce from WW final 9/16/10. Current Status: MB-based Marriage to Nature Girl 12/8/12 (first date on 12/11/10) Mine: S(16), D(11) NatureGirls: S(23), D(21) Another EA Story
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 375
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Joined: Feb 2009
Posts: 375 |
Hi,
As you see from my sigline, situation is similar.
But if both of you want to make it work and both of you are actually doing the work (not just talking about it), it will work.
This is my personal experience with MB.
Me (FWH) 44
Mrs_Recon6mo (FWW) 42
Married 22 years
2 Children 20 and 22 years
Last D-Day for me: May 2009
Last D-Day for her: October 2008
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860 |
beentheredonethat,
How did the both of you meet your OP's?
Were any of the OP's repeat OP's?
Is there NC with these OP's?
Now it's time to buy the shirt.
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