Hey Gurka,

It is best if you could be with your W, but I also think there are some positives from the separation. You don't have to deal with the day by day anger that your W most surely wants to direct at you... You can pretty much control your actions and show her your best side through e-mails/chat/phone calls... where as if you were there full time, you'd have many more opportunities to "lose it" and blow up at her.

I do think that once the A is over and your W is through with her withdrawal, that you should do everything you can to try and get stationed together. It will much more important for you guys to be together then in order for you to show her your consistent loving actions.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Well she can definitely get stationed at Fort Polk... if she wants to. She was on track for it. But she said in one of her angry emails that she's "no longer coming to Fort Polk." She would be in my unit, really low tempo, plenty of time to spend together.

But if she doesn't change her mind and decide to work on the marriage, and want to enough to PCS to Fort Polk, then there's nothing I can do about it.

So the idea here is that I continue to try to meet ENs and make deposits, and eventually she'll start talking about the relationship?

Hey Gurka- Yes, that pretty much sums it up.

Right now, your W has re-written your entire relationship from the time you first met, to when you got married, to the present. Her "feeling" are for the OM and that's what's pushing back all of the "good" memories from the past.

Your goal during Plan-A is to show your W that you are still a good husband and help her re-connect with you. This is easier said than done because of her "feelings" for the OM... that is MB always recommends exposure because it's the best way to end the A.

Your W most likely won't want to re-engage with you in rebuilding the M right away. It may take a while for her to deal with her conflicting feelings between her and the OM. I do think that the investigations will go a LONG way in speeding this process along, especially if there is some serious punishment...

The next "phase" is pobably the most difficult phase because YOU will be doing all of he work, and most likely, you won't be getting ANYTHING in return. Again, only you can decide how long you are willing to stay in this phase... its mentally draining, and it's very painful to see your love tossed aside by your W.

Hopefully, after a period of time, your W will start coming around and will be willing to work with you in rebuilding.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Hey Gurka,

You're exactly right... This will be a huge decision point for you. If she is allowed to remain in the Army, her decision on whether or not to move to Ft. Polk with you will speak volumes as to what direction she is heading.

I wouldn't worry too much about her decision right now, because she hasn't even started her basic course yet, right?

So it will be at least 4-6 months before she would even PCS to her first duty station. If she is released from Active Duty, again, whether or not she moves there with you will give you a good idea of what you'll be up against.

You don't have to decide what you'll do if she does or doesn't move to Ft. Polk, so try not to worry about that for now.

Stay focused on being the best husband you can for her and showing her by your actions that you love her.

Semper Fi,

RIF

RIF is right. Separation makes plan A difficult but not impossible.

Putting it simply plan A is to convince your WWs peripherl heart's vision that:

* you have wonderful, lovable traits
* you are so prepared to improve yourself as a husband for her you have already begun stowing lovebusters and meeting ENs
* you are not expecting her to eat a doot sandwich every day or her whole life as long as she repents and reinvests in your marriage.

This is for two main reasons:

1) Actions speak louder than words in showing your WW your best side
2) If plan A alone does not lead to a reconciliation between you it will ensure you leave the best possible vision of yourself with her before you go Plan B. This is what eats at wayward hearts and causes them to end their affairs over time.

Affection and conversation can be met long distance reasonably well. there is hope here if you plan.

all blessings

Hey BobP - I've got to ask... what isa "doot" sandwich??? Is that like a Marmite or Vegimite sandwich???

Hey Gurka - Hope you've had a good Sunday evening... Any word from your BN Cdr on the new phone records that show attempted contact?

Semper Fi,

RIF

No, but I didn't really expect to hear anything on a weekend.

I keep forgetting about "weekends"... every day is pretty much the same over here... one Groundhog day after another!

Yeah, I emailed him on Friday, he'll probably hit me back tomorrow.

You mean he doesn't have a Black Berry???? How in the world does he function?

AKO email. Emailing from our SWA exchange server to the one back at Fort Polk has proved unreliable. No notice of the message not getting through, it just doesn't.

I hate AKO! I forward all of my AKO mail to my "regular" mail so I don't have to log onto AKO.

Yeah AKO is painfully slow.

Well, it's getting late over here... I'll catch you tomorrow Gurka.

Stay safe and get some rest!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Poop !

Good Morning Gurka!

Good morning RIF! Busy day here. The MG is here to visit and meet everyone in the office... so everyone's running around like a chicken with their head cut off.

I'll work up a draft email for my WW later today and put it on here for review...

Nothing like having a GO in your area to get people all spun up...

Look forward to seeing your next e-mail...

Semper Fi,

RIF

I was thinking:

How was your weekend? We went out and did some training at the range (pictures are on facebook.) I had some pizza last night and it reminded me of all the times we went to Campisi's, split a salad and a pizza and just sat there and talked for a couple hours. You always looked so beautiful in the candle light. That's the kind of thing I'd like to do with you again. I've been super busy today, lots of work getting the interpreter systems up and running. I hope you're doing ok. Did you ever get my package from Bagram?