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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820
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Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 1,820 |
How did you change the triggers that put doubt in your mind, I seem to be letting the triggers control my mind, my hubby isn't doing anything wrong but my mind goes to all the bad thoughts when I have a trigger moment.....
My husband had his affair after the work day coming home later than normal, now if he is a little late my mind goes to thinking that is how it happened.
He has done everything to reassure me but it's tough getting past those moments. When does this stop, I'm 5 months post D-day.........
Just need a boost of confidence from others and how they solved this problem
BW 56
WH 57
Married 25 years, live together for 2, dated 2 years before that.....
DS 23, DS 25
D-Day Nov 23/09
NC Mar 1/10
Working on Recovery
Grateful for finding Marriage Builders
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058 |
Jess,
Check out the Managing Memories link in my sig line...
There are things that he can do though that will make your fears become a whole lot less over time. Unfortunately it does take longer than we'd like to begin to remember the new better memories rather than the traumatic ones. In part this is because of the trauma involved since anything with a strong emotional component is very easy to recall and is present in minute detail once triggered.
Ultimately, it will be what he does that will allow you to move forward and stop looking back.
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058
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Joined: Jun 2006
Posts: 6,058 |
Jess,
How ya doin' with the triggers?
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 130
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Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 130 |
I have the same problem, it seems like this is the worst part of recovery, the triggers. I'm always wondering and questioning his every move. I think this will change with the help of your husband as well as with time. For example, if he is running, late, he could call you, and maybe on his bluetooth or speaker phone talk to you on his drive home. Little simple things like that makes a big difference. He can help, even if it maybe aggravating to him, there are things he can do to easy your mind. Please know, you are not the only one having this problem. so you are not strange or weird for having this issue.
"Never get in a bed if your name isn't written on it"
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