There's a song called Walk a Little STraighter...this song must have been derived from that.

And congrats to your DS9! He DESERVES to be bragged on!

Karma, I haven't heard that song, but I've had this poem for years and years...clipped it out of a newspaper, and the clipping is yellowed, so it's pretty old!

Now that I've thought about it, I'm not sure it would be a good idea for Scotty to print this out for the boys to give their dad...he might think it was manipulative, and I can see why.

So...Scotty, never mind my suggestion!

LC-Actually, not that I don't value your opinion(cause I MOST definitely do)but I decided that I wasn't going to do that before I read your last post. I normally would have given my WH a Father's Day present, but since I am in Plan B, no present from my kiddos.

DS9 received a response back. WH pretty much said that he IS proud of hm and that he is sorry that DS9 didn't think so.

My Mom was super excited(I can always count on Grandma to be). DS9 talked to her right until bedtime.

DS9 feels better. When he received the response back from my WH, he lit up. It really only bothered me because it hurt my kid. I am sure you all understand how that goes. We never want to see someone we love hurting, especially when there is nothing we can do to make it better. It really surprised me that WH acted that way, but once again it PROVES you guys were right. Proof that my DSx2 would notice that WH is not the same old Daddy he used to be. Even if WH doesn't come back to me, my hope is that he at least comes back to them. ARGH.

We're getting through this. Baby steps. One day at a time.

Well, More trouble for DS7 at school. We will get him through this year, I am CERTAIN. DS7 woke up on Thursday morning, and stated that he had a dream that WH came home. He was sad when he realized it was only a dream. He wouldn't go to school. I wasn't feeling well so my friend came and got him. She literally had to drag him into the school. The principal took his hand, looked at my friend and said, "Nope this won't do. You need to take him back home. I am not going to deal with this again today. He did this yesterday too." She didn't know what to say, so she brought him home to me. Argh. I will be talking to him more about this and I think I am going to be going to someone else to find help for DS7. THis isn't sitting well with me.

So today, it is COLD and raining. We took Scooch out to a park. It was windy but there were some sunny breaks. We were there for almost 2 hours. I had a MOMENT. I was watching the kids play with Scooch and I had a huge smile on my face and I was truly HAPPY. Then I caught myself and I started to cry. It was because I am moving on. I missed WH a little too. But it was more that he was missing out on these moments. Then I thought, TOO BAD FOR HIM.

Hi Scotty,

Definitely get some help for DS7. He is so young and not able to understand his own feelings, poor little guy. I was lucky to find a wonderful counselor for my DDs and they both just love her.

Keep looking until you find one that clicks for DS7. That is so, so important. Too many people just gloss over the kids' feelings in these types of situations - that's why kids end up repeating parent's mistakes and why they makes other ones that they might not make if they had only gotten the help that they needed.

You are a wonderful mother and you quite obviously love those boys so very much. They need to have another outlet, though, besides you. WH isn't going to be of any help to them. They need someone else who can help them sort through their feelings without getting emotional. You are doing a wonderful job!!

It's ok to be happy. I know how you feel, though. I have happy days here and there, more and more. It's sad when I think about it, but it's a good thing. I never thought I could be happy without WH, but I can be. And so can you!!

I cried just the other day, though, because I was suddenly overwhelmed with missing WH. I didn't see the feelings coming - they just happened.

Try not to think about WH. Missing out on the special moments is HIS LOSS and HIS PROBLEM. You rock, Scotty - don't ever forget that!

Happy Mother's Day!! You are a wonderful mother!

I agree with Annmarie..

As hard as my marriage was I still have a hard time emotionally visualizing happy thoughts or future moments without my late wife. Its even more sad because she wasn't capable of loving me back for over ten years before her death.

Im getting better and you are too, in a different way of course but those moments happen to me still and I visualize way back when when she was not emotionally ill. I thank God I still know what love is. Thank God for you too and your connection to that love for your children.

Happy Moms Day

Thanx for that.

It was more that I was remembering what I used to do for WH. I would always tell him that he needed to be more involved with the kiddos because they are only little once and you want to forge a GREAT relationship with them early because it is a BOND that will last a LIFETIME.

Hey Scottie. Sorry to hear. As you know, I'm having some issues with TB_8 and how he only wants to sleep in the same bed with TB_11. Maybe the school district has a counselor that can work with your son. Maybe your employer has an EAP (employee assistance program). I am trying different things myself and although I'm not getting emphatic feedback from him that this pertains to Skatt's departure, I know enough to draw that conclusion. It is certainly not much of a leap. I try to focus on the positive for him (and his brother). I try to keep the communication lines as open as possible because the more they talk to me, the better off they'll be. I just try to be there for them in any way they need me. I KNOW you're the same way with your boys. You set a great example for the rest of us trying to adjust to single parenthood.


I remember that feeling of moving on. I remember not being prepared for it -- of it just happening. And I can vividly recall the emotions of the occasion. Yes, I can definitely remember making my peace. Sure, it was sad for me, just as it was for you. The loss of WH? I guess you could say that. His loss of his family? You could definitely say THAT.

Scottie, my boys mean the world to me. I cannot fathom the idea of taking action to the point where either one of them wouldn't want to talk to me. To be with me. To teach them and support them and help mold them into decent grown-ups. Your WH has somehow reconciled that disconnect in HIS mind. He has rationalized it. Lots of sadness regarding his situation. The damage he has done to the relationship he had with his boys? Now that's whole 'nother ballgame.

In case I don't get a chance to say it tomorrow, Happy Mother's Day to you, Scottie. You are a great mother and you don't have to wait for your boys to get older for them to realize it. They already know it.

TB

TB-Well you waited a long time to give me that Barbara Walters moment didn't you?

Thanx for that. There is a school counselor but he says that he is there more for bullying at school and that type of thing. I do have access to a person who can point me in the right direction. She is the lady that teaches the positive parenting courses through the Early Years Program I used to attend. She gave me her home phone number, but I think I will still wait til Monday to contact her. There is a lot of resources around, it is just finding the right ones for my kiddo.

Mother's Day is going to be like any old day Sunday here, I have to work. I always forget to take the day off. As soon as I find that Mon-Fri day job, that won't be a problem anymore. Now where is that job fairy? I will put my current job under my pillow and see what I get. HAHAHAHAHA

Well, I like to pace myself. Unlike Babs, I can't go to that well EVERY time -- it would eventually start to lose its effect.....

Glad to hear there are resources available for your son.

Sure, you may have to work tomorrow but don't let that take away from YOU having some time to reflect on all of the great things that YOU do as a mother. Tomorrow is better than any other day to pat yourself on the back and realize that you're not only navigating through a marital situation for which you never prepared, but you've also taken on a larger burden of both raising your boys and managing a household. And doing a darn good job of it. Pretty impressive in my book. Pretty impressive in most of our books....

TB

EXCUSE me???? He is the principal. He is there to help children. DS7 is only 7 years old for goodness sake!! You need to make an appointment to meet with this person and remind them that this is not about them but your SON. Your son is going through a traumatic experience and his prinicipal doesn't want to be bothered???

If you have to go to the school counselor or go above the principal's head to the school board, DO IT!

That's what my sister and friend told me to do too. They said that the school principal is just lazy and he SHOULD be doing SOMETHING. They said MY responsibility is to get him there. After that, they have to figure it out. I feel like the principal is worn out(it's a tough school). He also just recently went through a divorce. I know that doesn't EXCUSE his actions but it does possibly explain why he isn't up for it. They just don't seem to have the ability to deal with my DS7. I will get him through this. He will be fine. DS7 was definitely a kid who had to be DRAGGED to school everyday in JK. SK, the teacher was a no nonsense teacher and he had little problem with her. If he can exploit weakness, he will. You have to show him that YOU are BOSS and things will be done YOUR way. It is tiring, but it IS possible and gets easier as you are consistent. ARGH.

It is funny though because there is a contest on TV for best teacher and my DS7 always says he wants to nominate his teacher. Funny kid. A lot like WH. HAHAHAHAHA

My DS 26 was one of those kids who had to be dragged to school. His kindergarten experience (lousy teacher who was lazy always had him in time outs and head down on desk grrr) set the stage for him to hate school. He wanted to drop out in kindergarten! My biggest accomplishment in life was getting that boy graduated from high school. He is a lovely adult man now who is still in college LOL! Couldn't get him OUT of school now if I tried.

That is my wish too. Well, at least through HS.

OH Pep. I have missed you. Glad you are holding up well.

I will take you even with the spelking erooors. Especially since you overlook my whole being Canadian thing. HEHEHEHE

I will "keep the faith" and all that. One step at a time.

I ALMOST have Mom ready to read on here. We'll see about getting her to post. She told THING that she will most likely be leaving him. She is sad that she is hurting him though. Just reminded her that she hurt my Dad when she left. Also said that I told her BEFORE she left(pre-MB) that she was going to be hurting someone either way. I told her now that she can't get into a way-back machine, so all she can do is make it right. At least she doesn't seem so depressed anymore and talking about suicidal thoughts like before. Her meds and IC have helped.

This is wonderful news!!!! Does it feel a bit funny being the "teacher" to your parent though???!!......hehehe......way to lead baby!!!!!!


As sick as that is, this is a common and normal wayward mentality, and even if the BS does get it/care/understand it, it is true. It is just another consequence the wayward gets for their entitled decisions.........

Great job all around Scotty........

Not2fun

Ps...... .....to Miss Pep......have fun on your new adventure......bring us lots of funny stories and antidotes.....and even a few lessons......

Not-You are losing your touch tonight. I had a hard time reading that for a sec. Got it now though.

I understand her thinking enough right now after having read so much on here. My Dad is gone off to Scotland for the week to put my grandma's ashes with my great-grandma. I hope he has a good time. He will be there for Mother's day. It's touching.

Naaaaahhhhh......my lack of speelin, puntatin, gramear, and lack of puter knowledge is legendary around here.......I blame it on my blondness, either that or the chemicals used to get it there.......

Hey, kudos on that thread btw........the force is strong in this one.....

Not2fun