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gemstone, I didn't hear it but I do know they are ADAMANTLY against opposite sex friendships in marriage. ADAMANTLY. Here is his recent newsletter about it: Are "Friends" a Threat to Your Marriage?
A quote about jealousy from Dr Harley: "Jealousy is a normal reaction to a threat to marriage. It's not a Love Buster."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh I know what the site says here and have read that link before....and I agree with totally BUT that isn't how they both dealt with that 1st young woman's call about her soon to be husbands opposite sex friendship! They focused on the fact that she is a jealousy personality type instead and did compliment the boyfriend that he is paying attention to her when she feels jealous....he even gave an example that he had a friendship super close to a woman and Joyce had no issue with it at all cause the woman was 65 at the time and very over weight...they were a young couple then and Joyce wasn't threatened by it at all...so fine for them on that one...I get that...if she is grandmas age there's probably no risk involved.
BUT they never got any clarification from the caller....how old is this girl-friend of his? sounded like the same age to me...and someone he's been friends with for quite sometime....then they focused on her being the neurotic jealous personality type that's never gonna change....
This is horrible IMO....nothing like what I thought they would tell a caller....and doesn't match those articles or this site at all....I am stunned....go listen...it's the beginning and only lasts 9mins....I am not hearing things...they actually handled it this way.
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gemstone, I wish I could listen to it. I really think there were some extentuating circumstances because they are adamantly against oppostie sex friendships.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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The show is tomorrow from 2 to 3 pm cst!! Someone needs to call with a question!
Last edited by MelodyLane; 05/03/10 07:22 AM. Reason: got the time wrong
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Oh, Lordy, Lordy, he is taking calls from silly foreigners:  MARRIAGE BUILDERS� RADIO AM980 KKMS (St. Paul, Minnesota) MONDAY - FRIDAY 2:00PM - 3:00PM CENTRAL TIME (GMT-6) 888-332-5169 (toll-free) 651-289-4499 (local and international) Every foreigner I know is a regular little America calling devil when it comes to calling America! They ALL know how to call over here! 
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Gemstone, I just listened to the program you refer to, and I heard something different than you.
Bill and Joyce Harley tell the woman that she needs to tell the fiance how she feels when she feels jealous and that the fiance needs to be careful about how he acts around other women.
Bill tells her that she may in fact be the more jealous type, but there's nothing wrong with that, and that the fiance should accommodate her reactions.
Bill tells her that if she has a negative reaction to the fiance's relationship with another woman, he shouldn't have that relationship.
FBW in recovery
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Gemstone, I just listened to the program you refer to, and I heard something different than you.
Bill and Joyce Harley tell the woman that she needs to tell the fiance how she feels when she feels jealous and that the fiance needs to be careful about how he acts around other women.
Bill tells her that she may in fact be the more jealous type, but there's nothing wrong with that, and that the fiance should accommodate her reactions.
Bill tells her that if she has a negative reaction to the fiance's relationship with another woman, he shouldn't have that relationship. That interpretation fits exactly with what Dr Harley preaches and teaches. In fact, he says that "jealousy is a natural reaction to a threat in the marriage." If a spouse is jealous it is up to the other spouse to STOP doing whatever is causing the jealousy.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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starts in 5 minutes!! You can listen through the link in the first post.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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or you can go here: http://www.kkms.com/
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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ML thanks for the alternate link- the website link above was just playing music for me.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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Me too. Neat concept but geez....the callers need to listen to the questions and not keep babbling on and on. 
BW - me
exWH - serial cheater
2 awesome kids
Divorced 12/2011
Many a good man has failed because he had a wishbone where his backbone should have been.
We gain strength, and courage, and confidence by each experience in which we really stop to look fear in the face... we must do that which we think we cannot.
--------Eleanor Roosevelt
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Can I just say that I LOVE that Joyce is on there with him?
Marriage is a 2 person effort and I think she's as much an expert as he in many ways.
Me & DH: 28 Married 8/20/05 1DD, 9 mo. Just Lookin' and Learnin' HIYA!
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She has a wonderful radio voice too!
Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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edit
Last edited by BerlinMB; 05/03/10 03:02 PM. Reason: TOS violation
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"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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Widowed 11/10/12 after 35 years of marriage
*********************
“In a sense now, I am homeless. For the home, the place of refuge, solitude, love-where my husband lived-no longer exists.” Joyce Carolyn Oates, A Widow's Story
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