Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 29
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 29
Does anyone know about SIM card readers? They seem to be very cheap (less than $30).

My H has an iphone (not the latest) and a blackberry (which belongs to his company and has some specialist software on it). With both of them, all he has to do is delete emails or texts, and they are gone forever, as far as I know.

He has given me his passwords, and is OK with me looking through them, but without calling every number and checking that they are who they say they are, this does me little good.

With a sim card reader, could I see all deleted texts and emails?

Should I do this openly, with his POJA? Or should I snoop and try and look when he is out, and has left them at home? This would be easier with his blackberry but not impossible with his iphone.

My head says that he is not messing me about, but my stomped-on heart tells me not to believe a word he says...


BW: 46
FWH:48
Married 20 years with three teenagers
OW1: PA Sep08-Sep09 DDay Jun10
OW2: EA Feb09-Dec09 DDay Xmas Eve 09 (lovely!)
Recovering together, in spite of trickle truth...
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by BlueMum
Should I do this openly, with his POJA? Or should I snoop and try and look when he is out, and has left them at home? This would be easier with his blackberry but not impossible with his iphone.

My head says that he is not messing me about, but my stomped-on heart tells me not to believe a word he says...

Bluemum, I don't know about SIM card readers, but I have read some about flexispy and I think it would record all texts and emails depending on what version you got.

And absolutely you should not POJA snooping with him. EVER. He should never know about your snooping techniques, otherwise, he will just circumvent them if he had a notion.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 29
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Oct 2010
Posts: 29
Thanks for that.

His BB belongs to his employer and has special software, so I can't install anything on it - but it is left in the house over the weekend.

His iphone is his, but obviously he tends to take it with him when he goes out.

I do struggle with the snooping, while demanding O&H from him - it's not in my nature not to be honest myself...


BW: 46
FWH:48
Married 20 years with three teenagers
OW1: PA Sep08-Sep09 DDay Jun10
OW2: EA Feb09-Dec09 DDay Xmas Eve 09 (lovely!)
Recovering together, in spite of trickle truth...
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
bump


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 8
W
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
W
Joined: Nov 2010
Posts: 8
This worked nicely for me. You'll need access to the computer where the iPhone is backed up, not necessarily the phone itself. Also, it's free.

http://riactant.wordpress.com/2009/09/09/iphone-sms-retriever-utility-for-windows/

Last edited by Wicked; 12/16/10 09:59 PM.
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 59
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 59
Great info...thanks!


Me (32) BS
Her (33) WW
S(8) | D(6) | D(5)

My Story
Married 9 Years
March 2010: D-Day #1
May - July 2010: Retrouville & counseling
July 2010: WW stopped couseling because we were "better"
November 2010: D-Day #2 (lesson learned "don't stop until the professional tells you are better")
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
MelodyLane
What is the easiest keylogger to download, use, and has customer support by phone. I installed one a while back that was a pay by the month subcription. I never could get it to work. I was shocked that I figured out how to cancel the subscription.
Also the target computer is the same one I use, so It can't show up on her side when she logs in.

Thanks

Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
How about anyone eslse on a easy to use keylogger?

Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 59
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Dec 2010
Posts: 59
I have checked out the key logger site and it seems pretty easy... my difficulty is going to be getting into a locked mac book undetected to put it on... any suggestions?


Me (32) BS
Her (33) WW
S(8) | D(6) | D(5)

My Story
Married 9 Years
March 2010: D-Day #1
May - July 2010: Retrouville & counseling
July 2010: WW stopped couseling because we were "better"
November 2010: D-Day #2 (lesson learned "don't stop until the professional tells you are better")
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
B
Member
Offline
Member
B
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,164
I'm not an apple guy, but here is a link to apple's support article for changing the administrator password: here.

The problem is that it changes the password, it doesn't tell you what it is. That is fairly common behavior across platforms.

Unless you think you have a good shot at catching the macbook unlocked, your better bet would be to install the VAR and GPS in her car.


Me - 44
DW - 39
Married 16 years
DS10
DS6
DD4
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by nxs450
What is the easiest keylogger to download, use, and has customer support by phone. I installed one a while back that was a pay by the month subcription. I never could get it to work. I was shocked that I figured out how to cancel the subscription.


nxs, the easiest one I know of is eblaster at spectorpro.com. It runs about $100 but you only have to get on the target computer once. It emails you hourly/daily reports.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 313
K
kar Offline
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Mar 2007
Posts: 313
My WH bought a new phone and it arrived on my doorstep. Should I even bother to put a logger on it? I am in Plan D. Not plan B. Even though I know I am an idiot to not be in Plan B. Too many excuses on my part. Advice from a vet would be helpful here.

Last edited by kartoread; 01/02/11 06:12 PM.

BW (Me) age 41
WH age 40
kids 9 & 3
DD PA Skank #1 2/07
DD PA Skank #2 9/29/10
DD EA Skank #3 3/11 (occurred in '08)not sure if it was PA
Plan A- presently 9/2/11
Plan D- filed 12/20/11, served 12/24/11, 9/2/11 on hold, 12/1/11 cancelled
1/5/2011 WH tells me he is not 100% sure his relationship with OW would work.
7/21/2011 WH moves back home
11/7/2011 WH still foggy in ref to SK#3
Plan D- 1/2012 refiled
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
G
Member
Offline
Member
G
Joined: Mar 2009
Posts: 945
BUMP

Last edited by gg615; 01/07/11 04:24 PM.

D-Day #1 Aug/2007.
D-Day #2 1/27/12
Legally Separated
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
N
Member
Offline
Member
N
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 46
Thanks I will check it out.

Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
P
Member
Offline
Member
P
Joined: Oct 2000
Posts: 35,996
Bump

Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
E
Member
Offline
Member
E
Joined: Mar 2010
Posts: 1,254
I am a bit old fashioned, but for court appearances, you need positive proof (a photo) and putting them in compromising situiation with the op.

that is best achieved with a PI. I paid about 500 bucks, and all you need to supply is the 1)photo (a very recent one) of your ws 2)ws contact information (address of their work, their cell numbers, work numbers, list of favorite restaurants, or places they frequent, car (make, model, year, and tag number), any and all information on the op if possible (photo, type of car, their home address).

Within 8 hours I had them coming out of a hotel together (a PHOTOGRAPH...actually several), records from the hotel including the name he registered under (as though he was with me, his wife), photos of his car, her car, their car tags, and an hourly update showing (a photo each hour) time date stamped showing his vehicle and her vehicle were BOTH there all night at the hotel.

this stuff is critical if you're trying to prove without a shadow of a doubt they are cheating. You need the ws in the exact same place as the OP for a period of several hours.

The PI also obtained phone records too. That was about 150 more.

I was armed and loaded going on into court. GA is a fault state, so it was imparitive I had this kind of valid information. You can use the less expensive methods to help determine the WHO of the OP, but you need to prove it without a shadow of a doubt 1)the courts might need it if a D follows and 2)to show the WS you mean business, and to make sure they can't weasel their way out of any exposure and 3)for foggy family and friends who might say you're nuts and that the ema isn't happening.

It's a nice reality tool.


Change happens by listening and then starting a dialogue with the people who are doing something you don't believe is right. ~Jane Goodall
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 21
J
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
J
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 21
Originally Posted by MelodyLane
Originally Posted by nxs450
What is the easiest keylogger to download, use, and has customer support by phone. I installed one a while back that was a pay by the month subcription. I never could get it to work. I was shocked that I figured out how to cancel the subscription.


nxs, the easiest one I know of is eblaster at spectorpro.com. It runs about $100 but you only have to get on the target computer once. It emails you hourly/daily reports.




Do you know if they can remove it using anti spyware programs?


Just Figure It Out Already
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Juststopit, most don't pick it up but it is smart to run the spyware and anti-virus to make sure. If it does find it you can program it to ignore it.


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 13
F
Junior Member
Offline
Junior Member
F
Joined: Jan 2011
Posts: 13
Quote
7. Am I allowed to install this software on somebody else's computer?

You may only install Spector Pro on a computer that you own. Before you install the software, you must agree to use it only on a computer you own.

8. Can I monitor my spouse with this software?

You should NOT attempt to monitor your spouse, significant other or adult children with any SpectorSoft product without the consent and knowledge of such persons. Doing so may violate local, state or federal laws and you could be subject to civil or criminal penalties.

9. Should I inform my employees or others that they are being monitored?

Yes. The SpectorSoft software license agreement requires that you inform anyone you may monitor with SpectorSoft products.

10. Can I use the information recorded with Spector Pro as evidence in a court of law?

SpectorSoft can not guarantee that you will be able to use the recordings in a court of law. A judge determines the admissibility of evidence on a case by case basis. You should assume that the information recorded would not be permitted as evidence.

Interesting...


We can't go on together
With suspicious minds
And we can't build our dreams
On suspicious minds
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
OP Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by FadingOut
[
Interesting...

What do you find interesting about that, fadingout?


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Page 5 of 8 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 932 guests, and 64 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
daveamec, janyline, Mike69, petercgeelan, Zorya
71,833 Registered Users
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 1995-2019, Marriage Builders®. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5