I listened to the VAR from WW trip out the other night.

She made 4 calls. 2 of which were to OM. 1 to her best freind, and the other to her co-worker whose apt she went to that night. I must say that I wasn't shocked but it was difficult to listen to. WW is in love w/OM on the Soul Mate level. From talking to OMGF, we think that WW is giving OM $$ to pay for his new apt. I am made out to be a crazy person. WW was making fun of me for still trying to save the marriage.

WW: and he is still saying that he (me) loves me and wants to save the marriage...hello...is he carzy...I know, that is what everyone is telling me.

I think they are saying that I am doing all this to look good to everyone.

It also sounds like OM mother is in on it too. WW said to best friend things OM mother has told her, love happens, you are an independant woman, I am attracted to some married men, don't take this harrassment...... This is going to devastate OMGF. I feel so bad for her right now. OMGF is very close to OM mother and OM mother has come over to her apt w/OM demanding the truth. What a mess.....

OMGF and I have talked alot in the past two days. From what she is saying OM family is really bugging him. I have talked to OM three times. He still wants me to write an appology letter. I told him that if his story is true (NC w/WW since last summer), I would write one. I told him that I don't believe him.

I didn't come home last night. There would have been no way that I could have held myself together, I stayed at a co-workers place. I really needed some sleep and got it.

WW won't talk to me, she has replied to a couple texts, I just asked her how she was doing. I know that the only way to save this marriage is for OM man to LB and break promises. We'll see what happens. WW is going to sign her lease tomorrow and will leave at her earliest chance. I'm thinking about helping her move. I'm not sure, I may be able to make more LB deposits.

I may be meeting w/OMGF today to show her my evidence. I'll let you know how that goes.

No I don't, and I haven't. I just didn't have any solid proof of contact until now.

I have told OMGF about all my evidence. I am going to share it with her today hopefully. I have been trying to help her deal with all this.

Tell OMGF to tell OM's father what OM's mother is telling your WW. I bet OM's mother's actions are likely to split that household and OM's father will regulate and law down the law.

Again, what state do you live in?

Though that may be a nice little bit of revenge for OM's mother supporting this, I don't think the point is to break up households. The point is to stop the affair and I don't think that will help with this goal.

JMHO I may be (probably) wrong. 2x4 me at will.

Illinois.

From talking to OMGF, I don't think the father is in the picture. Mostly cusins, aunts, uncles from my take.

OM is telling OMGF that he lover her and wants to be with her. He wants and has nothing to do w/WW. OMGF is asking me what to do. I have told her make him give you acces to everything, phone records, emails passwords, and the like. What else can she ask OM to do?

Send and sign a NC letter to your WW. Send OMGF a sample letter.

Tell her to also block WW's email address and phone number, and if he can't, then change it. Then she needs access to all OM's stuff, and he needs to account for his time.

Have your lawyer send OM a cease and decist notice to stop contacting your WW or he will be sued for Alienation of Affection. You don't have to follow through, but a letter from a lawyer might scare him.

Ok, that sounds good.

What sould I do with my VAR rvidnce? It is solid, but illeagl in IL. I very leerie about sharing it.

Refer OMGF here!

Don't know about the VAR. Even if you can't use it in legal proceedings you can still use it to prove they still have contact and that you're not off your rocker, ya know?

What VAR? You got your information from "sources."

Just tell OMGF that you got this information but you can't share how because it may or may not be illegal in the state of IL, then wink at her. If you tell her, she will tell OM, then OM will tell your WW.

Right.....
I know that OMGF will want to use it. It would really help her sitch. I am worried for her.

She already knows that I am useing a VAR and GPS. She knows not to tell OM. I trust her, we are in the same boat, minus our legal conection with our signifacant other.

I had the exact same experience with a VAR the first day I bought it. She laughingly mocked me and declared how scary and crazy and angry I was to XMIL and XBIL. She lied about and distorted everything.

It started with a pleasant enough conversation between the two of us about our day and some maintenance issues about DD18. Then I left for basketball practice and within 2-minutes she was on the phone with her also adulterous brother and just started a foaming rant about me and the marriage.

Funny too. She told them both she had slaved away cleaning the house all weekend because she did feel a little guilty that scary, crazy, angry guy should at least be abandoned with a tidy home. In reality all she did was throw out some newspapers and straighten up a single small bookshelf.

Oh gosh, I sure miss her!

Folks, when we tell you they lie we mean they lie about everything and to everyone.

It is very tough and hurtful to listen to but it can be strengthening and bolstering too.

Personally I think a good VAR is the most useful snooping weapon in the BS arsenal. A real time GPS is a close second. In combination as seen here they are great.

I do always tell people who get their VAR going that they must brace themselves for what they are going to hear their WS say about them. Its one thing to hear the stupid stuff face to face or talk about the script here but it takes on a whole new level of vindictiveness and meanness when they are trying to sell their innocent abused victim hood to others. And they can turn it on like a light switch.

It is a very huge Love Buster moment to listen to this stuff and for me it essentially drained the ol Love Bank dry. Plan B started that night as I escorted her and her stuff to her car and out of MY house.

Oh and of course she could not believe that I had once again, �Invaded her privacy� as she was making and confirming her final plans to destroy our marriage, get the stuff and money she �deserved� and begin her new happy life with her married boyfriend.

I don't know how I have survived the guilt.

It's absolutly amazing.

WW confessed her true love for OM to best friend.

WW: I know that I am wrong for the A, but I'm not ashamed for how I feel for OM.

Someone answer me this? If her love is so true and meaningful, then why lie to everyone about it? I know the answer....

I had a talk w/WW on the phone. She is signing the lease tomorrow and her parents are coming down this weekend to help her move out....Sigh...now what?

Talked to OMGF, she pretty much gave OM an ultimatum. He is saying and doing things to convince her that he wants to stay together. They tried last night to change cell phone #'s but couldn't because OM phone is in his mother's name. I told OMGF to talk to his mom and have her provide her w/the phone records. Not sure if this will happen. OMGF is ready to give up on their relationship. They don't have children together but she has two and OM is like a father to them. We are so confused right now as to what OM is up to.

I know OM is cake eating but OMGF is at a low spot in the ride and is ready to call it quits w/OM. I just told her that if it is the right thing to do today, it will be the right thing to do tomorrow.

I don't post much, but I think OM is waiting for your wife to sign the lease. He is making nice with his GF so she doesn't kick him out before your wife has the apartment.

Good point. I am going to ask for no co-habitation by members of the opposite sex in the temp D orders.

I'm thinking about playing some my evidence from the VAR when WW parents are there helping with the move. I will have my family there too. Is this over the top? I don't know if WW is still standing by her statement that she ended things w/OM.

What do you think?