Hi, I know this is lame but I'm discovering I'm socially inept and I don't know how to respond to my coworker.

He just got off the phone w/dr and the mole they removed was melanoma. He will need more skin removed (3/4" all around) and as he said it he was laughing and joking (that's my whole forehead) so I laughed too... but then the reality hit me that wow, melanoma is cancer, and a little sympathy would have been nice.

Pls tell me how you would have responded had he announced that to you. We're all kinda young and healthy, so it's not something I've had to deal with before.

Thanks,

Daisy

1. I think you handled it very well. He laughed about it and you just joined in. Yesterday I was having lunch with a client whose H passed away last year (cancer). She was talking about the hot summer and said "Yeah, it was a hot summer but we survived. Or at least one of us did." I just chuckled with her and quickly changed the subject!

2. I see your email address has "divorce" in it. I don't know your story, but I surely hope that you do not define yourself by using something so terrible as divorce.

3. Have a great weekend.

Did he say what kind of melanoma? My dad has these removed and biopsied every few years, but he has never had the "bad" kind that could be terminal.

If I am laughing and joking over something that seems serious, I would usually prefer that others laugh too. I think you did fine.

Amazing how tough it is to always find "the right words," isn't it? As for him "laughing," I'll bet that was his own little way of "dealing" with such news. You know, to kind of make himself feel a little better in a round-about-way.

As for myself, if faced with such a circumstance and being unsure of what to say, I usually just come straight out and tell the truth...."I'm sorry, I honestly don't even know what to say!" Of course, I say it with complete sincerity and heart, not with a "I don't feel like hearing it" attitude. Don't know how well this works for others or in other scenarios but, well, let's just say that I read this "idea" in a Dear Abby article many years ago and it is still stuck with me today, lol.

Oh, and I "am" very sorry to hear about your co-worker; sure do hope everything turns out a-okay for him, what a frightening experience. (I lost one of my sisters to cancer just a few short months ago so I know all about "how it feels" to walk in those shoes. Ugh!).

Thanks for the responses- I feel better now, and will certainly remember to respond as the other person responds (if they laugh, I laugh, etc).

@ImStaying no, I don�t define myself by the divorce, but this was just a special email I set up for this board b/c I didn�t want to give out my personal email.