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higgs, you have my # if you want to talk! I am on my cell phone today.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Again, I appreciate all the support and help. I'm going to stay in plan a for another week. I need to do this to explore some more thoughts on my situation. He did comment on how nice I've been and wondering when the charade will end.
I have plans to move into plan b, but I need some rest. I've only been in plan a for a week and a half.....I need more time.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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He did comment on how nice I've been and wondering when the charade will end. At least he is *noticing*, right? Wish my H would at least notice. {hugs} When it comes to resting, take as much time as you need!
Me 31
Him 26
Married 11/30/04
DD11
DD8
DS3
In a big ol mess...
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Again, I appreciate all the support and help. I'm going to stay in plan a for another week. I need to do this to explore some more thoughts on my situation. He did comment on how nice I've been and wondering when the charade will end.
I have plans to move into plan b, but I need some rest. I've only been in plan a for a week and a half.....I need more time. If you think you can do it and do it well w/ no LBing then go for it! It's GREAT that he is noticing your Plan A, that means you're doing a good job! The next time he says something about this "charade" please tell him "this is not a charade...I know I've made mistakes in the M and I want to fix them." Own YOUR part in the breakdown of the M. higgs, it's really important that you are happy and cheerful...can you two try to do something fun together? And something fun as a family? When you go to Plan B you want his very last memories of you and your family to be happy, fun ones so that when he's sitting alone in his trailer he is missing all of you! What can you come up with and suggest to him?
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. 
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higgs, I always suggest that when in Plan A you say this to your spouse:
"Honey, things are really hard right now and this isn't fun or good for anyone...what do you say we put all of this stuff aside for a few hours and go do __________. We all need a break from this, maybe a little fun will get our minds off of this stuff for a while."
If he declines then YOU still go do (whatever) with the kids and tell him you are doing it anyhow and you hope he changes his mind and joins you. It might be good for the kids to ask him to come along as well.
Me,BW - 42; FWH-46 4 kids D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006 D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR) Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007 In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks.
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Ok , talked to melody..... I sent the letter. I'm leaving for my parents house tonight. I need to get away while he's collecting his things. I'm going to change the locks on Monday.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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I hope I'm doing the right thing.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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I hope I'm doing the right thing. I'm thinking the exact same thing for myself at this moment... I can tell you from the outside looking in, you are definitely doing the right thing, higgs.
Me 31
Him 26
Married 11/30/04
DD11
DD8
DS3
In a big ol mess...
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Ok , talked to melody..... I sent the letter. I'm leaving for my parents house tonight. I need to get away while he's collecting his things. I'm going to change the locks on Monday. higgs, I believe strongly this is the best thing to do. There is nothing to be gained from another week of Plan A, and much to lose because he already has you completely worn down. It is critical that you follow through now, especially after he has seen your letter. He needs to see that you are serious about this. What he wants is to maintain the status quo and keep BOTH of you as long as he can. He will do his best to manipulate you into protecting the status quo by trying to make you feel guilty for his affair. Don't let him do that, higgs. The worst thing you can do is allow a wayward to drive the agenda.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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higgs-you are doing what is best for you and for your Marriage. You can do this. You have done so well so far. This will be the best for you.
Take care.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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He just texted me the following
"you don't need to leave me a copy, I already have one. I'm sure you don't want to see or (hear) my letter, You never have, but I'm sending it anyway. You'll always do as you always have, whatever you want."
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Your WH sounds very familiar to mine. Wow it's SCARY.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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He just texted me the following
"you don't need to leave me a copy, I already have one. I'm sure you don't want to see or (hear) my letter, You never have, but I'm sending it anyway. You'll always do as you always have, whatever you want." Still playing the game to try and make you feel guilty for defending yourself from his abuse. Show him you are not falling for it, higgs, and reply and ask him when he can be moved out. Ask him if you can help him pack.
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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And throw the letter away now!!
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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He just texted me the following
"you don't need to leave me a copy, I already have one. I'm sure you don't want to see or (hear) my letter, You never have, but I'm sending it anyway. You'll always do as you always have, whatever you want." What a liar!
If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app! Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8. Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010 If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
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He has texted me again asking if I was withdrawing our children from school. Is he crazy why would I do that?
He then texted me again stating that he can't move out because he can't afford two rents and a mortgage. What now?
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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LISTEN TO THE EVER SO WISE ML.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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He has texted me again asking if I was withdrawing our children from school. Is he crazy why would I do that?
He then texted me again stating that he can't move out because he can't afford two rents and a mortgage. What now? Wait! But I thought he told you last night he would move out if you gave him the letter? See how he is backpeddling once you call his bluff? He can't believe you are doing this. Just text him back and tell him you need him to move out as he promised he would last night. "Joe, as I said in my letter I cannot live like this anymore. I am asking you to move out this weekend."
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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Another text stating he never told me that he would move out......what a lie! He told me that right after he stated that it was community property.
BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
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Wayturds ALWAYS lie. As ML stated, he wants to keep the status quo.
He is now hoping he can do things that will make you rethink your plan. He doesn't know that you have a support system(US) who are telling you what he is going to do and say.
Stick to your guns.
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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