I'd write my congressman!!! Imagine, expecting you to fight a war with no lobster or crab legs... Well, I guess you earned your combat pay today Guka.

Also they've been out of plates for almost a week now, and using styrofoam clamshells for everyone. The environment weeps.

I agree w/ everything Jim said w/ regards to your W's latest email.

It was almost as if she needed to write down every offense to remind herself of why she needs to stay angry at you....and why she DESERVES to be plan A'd by you.

LOL

Full speed ahead!

Oh, and why do you think she's taking a hit financially? Any idea?

TJ..

Hi Mel!

That video is a riot! Waaaay better than Lady Gaga's version! What goofs those guys are! God bless them all!

The only reason I can think of that I might be causing her to go further into debt would be legal fees. But that's all her doing.

Hey Gurka,

That could be the reason... I wonder if she's spending money on a divorce lawyer, or for legal representation during the investigation...

Either way, you're right, it is all due to her own choices.

Semper Fi,

RIF

What do you guys think about Gerk asking his W what has caused her to go into debt? Ask her if it is for laywer fees?

And possibly how much she needs???

Of course this assumes that Gerk would be willing to help her pay for some of this.

She wanted Gerk to know she was in debt. She shared w/ him one of her biggest problems. Isn't it natural for a H to ask his W more about this?

What better way to prove that his intention in exposing was about ending the A, not having criminal charges brought against her?

I don't think that I'd ask her as it would just give her an opening to start blasting Gurka...

I think it's better for her to sit and "stew" over why Gurka is doing this... The more conflict that she has over this the better!

She will probably reply to the latest e-mail in a day or so, and she will probably give Gurka another "list" of all of the bad things that he's doing along with some more threats.

Semper Fi,

RIF

How about he just keeps depositing the $1000 every month. She probably got legal representation for her adultery investigation (probably OM advised her to do it because he didn't want her getting him in trouble). I doubt she spent much/any money filing the D paperwork.

Good morning Gurka!

I agree with jmwc95... You can get a "do it yourself" divorce "kit" online for $29.95!!!

I suspect that if she's spending the money on a lawyer, it's because she's trying to make sure that she doesn't get kicked out of the Army...

Semper Fi,

RIF

I think just filing the petition is several hundred dollars in most states...

Anyway, good morning all. Hectic day again, lots of network problems...

Good Morning Gurka!

Temps are already heating up into the upper 90's here... Glad I have an "inside" job!

Try not to electrocute yourself today!!!

Semper Fi,

RIF

When you go to a lawyer and say you want a divorce they ask a bunch of questions like if its gonna be contested, kids and what not.

They do this so they can calculate a retainer. This prepays most the fees they expect to charge during the divorce. 1/3 is usually non refundable.

So its likely she had to come up with considerably more than just the filing fees. This could very well have her financially strapped.

From the shoddy paperwork and what Gerka said, he doesn't think she retained a lawyer. She just filed herself to save money.

Right. She consulted with an attorney who told her that an uncontested marriage with virtually no community property would be quick and painless.

I think you guys may be right that she got an attorney for the investigation. But who knows.

Eventually she's going to realize that having an affair is much worse than telling people about your spouses affair.... right?

My exposure was limited to immediate family. Mrs. RIF was VERY uncomfortable around my brother (who was stationed overseas with me and knew immediately of her first A) and my mom and dad for years.

She would definitely tell you that the embarrassment of dealing with my immediate family was nothing compared to the damage that she did to our M.

Semper Fi,

RIF

Ugh, kind of a rough night. Just wanted to talk to her, see how she's doing, tell her that I love her, and that I'm doing all of this to save our marriage.

Every time I get an email my heart jumps up into my throat, and then it's not from her and I feel silly.

it's not silly Gerka.

(((( Gerka ))))

psst ..... that's a cyber hug, you're doing great!

Hey Gurka - I was about to sign off and head to bed when I saw your post...

No, it's not silly at all. Your longings to connect with your W and tell her that you love her are completey normal.

For now, even if you told her these things, she would most likely return your words of affection and love with hate and anger. Remember, she's still withdrawing from the OM and is still very conflicted on what she really wants.

At some point in time, your wife WILL know just how much you love her! But for now, you can take comfort in the fact that you are doing the right things for your wife and for your marriage.

I know that you are probably second guessing your actions and thinking that things aren't working... Remember what I said about "What If" thoughts and questions... Your mind will almost ALWAYS think of the worst situation. When this happens, try to think of the positive facts of your situation... I won't list them again, but you know what they are.

Don't waiver from your battle plan. You're doing a super job and your W has followed the WS script almost to the letter so far! Her actions and words aren't much different than I've seen from other WW's right after exposure, so don't let your mind wander and start thinking that things "aren't going well".

Try and get some sleep and we'll chat again tomorrow!

Semper Fi,

RIF

Thanks RIF, talk to you in the morning.