Remember, waywards lie. She is 36 and single. I did a facebook search, and she looked kind of nasty.

Your husband might be trying to throw you off track. When I searched the name he gave you, nothing turned up.

Does that mean that it isn't her for sure? I am sorry, but as much as you don't want to, you NEED to KNOW. You could very well lose this fight, wouldn't it be better to KNOW THY ENEMY? Doing nothing will get you nothing. No guarantees, but it is your best chance.

Scotland-

Her husband gave her a name. An unusual name. I searched all over the internet, intellius, spokeo, whoozy, pipl, facebook, my space, whowhere. Couldn't find anything.

Looked up the address where WH is living and found only 2 women in those apartments. One didn't fit - too old. The other one is skanky looking, 36 and single.

She doesn't fit with what WH said. I think he's not telling the truth.

Believer-you have been around these parts for a while and I know that you are aware that waywards lie often. I am not surprised that PFM2's WH would lie to her about this.

PFM2-I know that it is really hard to do what you are doing. I am worried that if there is no end in sight to your torture that you will have ZERO chance at R because YOU won't want to anymore. I am worried for you, that is where I am coming from. It is from a place of caring for you. You need to get out of this soon.

There is an end in sight for PFM2 because she only has a bit more time before her student teaching is done. She is working a killer schedule, and has done EXCELLENT. I'm full of admiration!

She has her spy lined up and will find out soon.

Get your butt in gear and find her! Deliver some flowers from the WH or something! FIND HER!

FYI...I NEED TO YELL AND SCREAM TONIGHT OR I WILL GO INSANE!!!!!!!

Oh My God!!!! What the H*@# did I do that everything in my life has to fall apart!!!!!! Why do I keep being punished??? I wish I knew what I have done. I will repent and do whatever I can to make it up and be a better person.

I keep feeling like I am being punished for being a faithful, adoring, supportive W and he is out having an A and getting to enjoy life with no real responsibilities or consequences for his choices.

OK...now for the explanation of why I am yelling, screaming, and throwing a fit.

My mom went in to the hospital to have kidney stones removed. While she was in there, they thought that she lucked out and passed them on her own because they did not find any, but they were surprised that she did not know she had passed them. However, while in recovery, after we thought things had gone well, she started experiencing severe back pain. Then the same painful attacks that she had been having came back as bad if not worse because they were combined with the back pain.

She has now been admitted to the hospital for a 23 hour observation hoping that they can find what is going on. Since I can't take any time off with student teaching, I am trying to make all sorts of phone calls for her and communicate with people in the family along with making new arrangements for getting the kids off to school and making sure they are all taken care of. And, of course, WH goes back to work for the first time since having a week off tomorrow.

He came by tonight to put down some mulch and I was just so angry about constantly getting knocked down and punched in the gut these days and he's not suffering at all!!!

The bad thing is, and I know my thoughts and feelings are wrong and misdirected, somehow I wanted to yell, scream, and throw a fit and blame him for my mom's current situation. I know it is not his fault, but I keep feeling like when something good happens to me an even bigger bad thing comes crashing down on me. I scored a perfect on my observation that my instructor did today on me and then got this news about my mom.

Tried to share the good news of my observation with WH and his response was, "Well, it doesn't get you a job does it?" What the H@*& is that supposed to mean. It probably wouldn't have hit me so bad if I wasn't dealing with everything with my mom.

WH asked how things were going financially for me and the kids. I told him that things were tight but I was making it work. He told me that I need to tell him when things are tight. I wasn't sure exactly how to respond, but I made a comment about how he is working so hard to support the family and was just making things work the best I can. I said that I would go without if the kids needed something. (I hate peanut butter because I have eaten so much of it these days! )

{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{{prayerfulmomof2}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}


HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS HUGS

Prayers going up for your mom. Let's hope that she will be released from the hospital soon.

Go ahead and scream and yell. We understand.

Good job on your observation that your instructor did today. You are doing very, very well. You only have a few more days of this and things will get better. I promise you that.

This is rotten to go through, and you're doing great anyway. No matter what it feels like right now, you're doing awesome! For you to make it here with a meltdown instead of lighting into the main source of your stress is spot-on.

Only a few more days - you can make it.

Well...DS may have fractured his wrist during his first baseball game. We will not know any more until Thursday of next week when we go back to the dr. and actually get an x-ray. They don't want to x-ray his wrist just yet because with kids, you may not see anything until after about a week and it has been only just under 48 hours. If fractured, have to go to a hand surgeon because the fracture appears to be in the carpals of the wrist which they won't touch. They will send to the surgeon for further evaluation.

When do I stop getting punished and WH start getting punished??? Really??? (Just a vent of frustration)

Positive...5 days left of student teaching. Will really miss doing the teaching thing until I get my own job as a teacher. The students, even though they are middle school students, are wonderful.

{{{{{PM2}}}}} Hang in there, This will get easier soon.

DS has had two big mental breakdowns (I guess they were more emotional breakdowns). He keeps telling me how he is afraid to tell his dad that he is ticked and mad and angry at him because he is afraid that it will make his dad not want to come home. Positive thing is that he was actually willing to and had one of his breakdowns with my mom. This is the first time that it has not been with me. The second was with me.

Probably the most irritating thing was that when he said "Mom, when your done can you come downstairs so that we can talk?" he sounded just like WH, especially on the day he told me he was moving out and the day he STATED point blank that he wanted a divorce. Very matter of fact with no emotion.

Triggers are hard. Big hugs for you and the kids, too.

OK...this was kind of weird. I just finished working with a music therapy client and was pulling out of their driveway when a person popped into my head. This was a former neighbor who lived across the street when we moved into our house. A few years ago, she had an affair on her husband and asked for a divorce. She has two older children and is an older woman. She actually fits many of the characteristics of what my WH told me about OW. I had no reason to think of her and was not thinking about anything to do with WH at the time. I was actually thinking about getting to my daughter's soccer game. I have not seen her in several years. Could this possibly be her??? Trying to do some looking online with limited success.

BTW...my mom's friend is doing some researching/spying actively for me right now. My mom was emailing her and she asked a couple of "how do you..." questions and her friend responded, don't worry, I am on it and all ready looking into it. Why would some arbitrary name pop into my head of someone that I haven't seen/talked to in 4 or 5 years maybe. Maybe a little less. The name is not what he had said, but the description fits pretty close except for what OW said about her XH.

Don't rule it out. Maybe it's her and maybe it's not, but when your brain gives you information like that you just need to check into it.

No matter who it is, chances are good he was lying about the name, especially since the cybersleuths haven't been able to find anything on her. Very few people are that far off the grid.

Is there someone who could conduct a longer surveillance on the apartment, and get a look at the OW, too? Once they narrow down the exact #, of course.

If you know the old neighbor's name, you could go to publicdata.com and for a SMALL fee search the local Tax Assessor's office for vehicle/address information on her. Once you have that info, you can either see if the address matches the apartment complex (it will also give you an apt. number) or it will give you the license tag number/make/model for her car (if she owns one). A drive through the apartment complex looking for that plate number will confirm or rule out your suspicions.

Also have your mom and friend note who your WH is parking next to most of the time. Chances are good they park near each other.

Sounds like a great resource, Meggy!

It is! PM2, that site also has a feature where you can just enter a license plate number and select the state (not available in all states) and it will pull up the registration information.