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Mother's Day Tough For You Too?
Was mother�s day hard for anyone? It was VERY hard for me. First, we had a �Mother�s Day Breakfast� at the church, and as they seated us and the pastor gave a speech about how �we honor our mothers and wives� I realized I was the only non-married mother being honored. I had to leave because I teared up at the whole emphasis on how we love and cherish our wives, the mothers of our children. So much emphasis on wives, and I was no one�s wife.

Then, during the sermon, I had a really tough time because the pastor was talking about how a good wife and mother makes the sacrifice, puts her family before herself, and I was feeling really condemned (though I do feel I did all I could to salvage my marriage).

But then I know it got hot for my ex when the pastor continued to his next thought that when you find a woman like that you should nurture, cherish, and appreciate her. And recently my ex told me he had lost his mind and that he never would have realized it if I hadn�t left him.

So that part of the sermon gave me some small satisfaction, but overall I kept hating on myself- feeling like if I was a worthwhile individual, I would have never ended up divorced. If I were better, my husband would have valued me. I know, logically, that�s not true- but still, it was tough.

Did anyone else have a tough time yesterday? If so, how did you get through it?


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Sorry for your less than ideal Mother's Day Cat. But it does sound as if there is some peace mixed in with it for you. Of course, you don't deserve to feel guilt. ESPECIALLY on Mother's Day.

Mine was equally tough. My kids are young and I knew there would be no celebration or pampering for me in my new role as single parent. And I stopped going to church when the paster told me it wouldn't be appropriate for me to receive the Holy Communion while going thru a divorce. (Doesn't matter that WH left me for OW). So I went out with friends the night before instead. When I got back to relieve the sitter, my house was a DISASTER. I mean, cereal crushed up and down 3 flights of stairs, thousands of Leggos, puzzle pieces from about 15 different puzzles, game pieces, marbles, etc. all mixed together and strewn all over the place, clogged toilet, handsoap all over the bathroom, squirted on walls, toilet, shelves, etc. I wanted to cry. Spent all of Mother's Day cleaning house while my kids watched tv. In the evening, exhausted, I went to my Mother's House to cook dinner for her.

For me, the worst part was thinking about how much different Father's Day will be. OW will surely make a big fuss, honoring and pampering him. Making sure kids do the same. They will have money to buy gifts, go to brunch. Have a real celebration like a real family. I'm on food stamps and can barely keep these kids in decent clothes over here in this broken down house. I wish I wouldn't keep comparing in my mind. OW is raising my kids (PT), sitting on my furniture, watching my TV, sleeping with my husband, and I'm sure, getting pampered and honored by him on Mother's Day. Sometimes it seems when my kids are over there that they're with a REAL family, while the 3 of us over here are just pretending.

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Sorry you both had a rough day.....

Mother's Day was tough for me as well but for a far different reason.

My H has never made a fuss over me even when the kids were little, he has always said that i am not his mother. So i have never had a "special" Mother's Day for me.

However this was the 10th Mother's Day i have not had my own Mother and it was a very difficult day. That is what was special to me on mother's day. Being with MY kids and MY Mother.

So even though you did not have the Mother's Days you have had in the past, you have to remember what you have that is good. You got to see your children and i am sure they wished you a Happy Mother's Day and you got to see your Mother to wish her one too. And would you really want to be with your WS's anyway......

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Thanks SC for the perspective. I did get to honor my mother, who of course was more concerned for me and what I was going through. Thank God I still have her. I will try to focus on the positive more.

I am so sorry about such a sad anniversary for you. This Father's Day will be my dad's last, so I will try to make it special for him and be happy I have him for at least one more.

And you're right, Mother's Day with my WH always sucked!

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Actually, I rather enjoyed Mother's Day. My WW, two sons, and I went to mass. And the sermon was right on the money... laced with what it means to be a good mother.

I simply don't know how my WW is living with herself.


BH(Me)=40
WXW=38
ILYBNILWY: 8/09
DDAY: 8/31/09
Two boys: 8,7
Divorced 3/23/2011

Don't let your eyes refuse to see. Don't let your ears refuse to hear. Or you ain't never gonna shake this sense of sadness. --Ray Lamontagne
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Mine was not as tough as usual, but also for very different reasons.

(1) My own mother is particularly demanding when it comes to any occassion where she receives stuff and mother's day is no exception. I tend to spend the days leading up to it increasingly stressed out because nothing I do is ever good enough.

(2) My D-day shortly preceded mother's day in 2007, and that year WXH made a big deal about taking OW and her DD out because she's so "spechul". He had never done anything for me. I only got whatever card or craft my son made at school.

(3) Despite #2, my mom put the pressure of #1 on my even in 2007 making it the absolute worse occassion I have ever endured - even worse than Christmas of 95 which is a story for another day. As such, I've begun to dread mothers day as much as christmas. Last year, I even asked my DS to fulfill my mothers day obligations to her in my absence AS my mothers day gift but she wouldn't hear of it. Instead, we sat at dinner where she regailed my son and his wife about how neighbourhood kids used to pretend they weren't home when I called on them because I liked cats (yes, she's this rediculous and no this never happened anywhere but in her imagination).

Anyway, as I almost fear the occassion now, it worked out pretty well. DS couldn't make it on the actual mothers day so we "celebrated" a week earlier. It was also the same weekend as my mom's tickets for the ice show that I bought her for Christmas so she was visiting anyway. It also just so happened that my brother came into town that very same weekend so mom had to hurry home to visit with him, so we had Sunday brunch and then she was outta there. All the week before.

I was finally granted my wish and spent mothers day home alone with my cats and DS dropped off some chocolates to me late in the day. Come to think about it, this was my best mothers day EVER!





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Originally Posted by fellspointmom
Thanks SC for the perspective. I did get to honor my mother, who of course was more concerned for me and what I was going through. Thank God I still have her. I will try to focus on the positive more.

I am so sorry about such a sad anniversary for you. This Father's Day will be my dad's last, so I will try to make it special for him and be happy I have him for at least one more.

And you're right, Mother's Day with my WH always sucked!

THat was my intent and thank you for the condolences. I really do not like it that i feel like i can't even enjoy mother's day so much anymore and my kids hate it so i try to not say anything to them about it.

Although this year my YDD got a card that sang a song when you opened it and it was a song my mom sung to me and i sung to my kids and i just cried when i heard (the good kind of cry).

So all in all the day was okay.....

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Originally Posted by fellspointmom
For me, the worst part was thinking about how much different Father's Day will be. OW will surely make a big fuss, honoring and pampering him. Making sure kids do the same. They will have money to buy gifts, go to brunch. Have a real celebration like a real family. I'm on food stamps and can barely keep these kids in decent clothes over here in this broken down house. I wish I wouldn't keep comparing in my mind. OW is raising my kids (PT), sitting on my furniture, watching my TV, sleeping with my husband, and I'm sure, getting pampered and honored by him on Mother's Day. Sometimes it seems when my kids are over there that they're with a REAL family, while the 3 of us over here are just pretending.

It's times like this life seems SO unfair. But what comes around goes around!


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Originally Posted by Still_Crazy
So even though you did not have the Mother's Days you have had in the past, you have to remember what you have that is good. You got to see your children and i am sure they wished you a Happy Mother's Day and you got to see your Mother to wish her one too. And would you really want to be with your WS's anyway......

I echo the thanks for such good perspective


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
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Originally Posted by Tabby1
I was finally granted my wish and spent mothers day home alone with my cats and DS dropped off some chocolates to me late in the day. Come to think about it, this was my best mothers day EVER!

Yay! It's so nice when something finally works out in our favor!


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer

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