Hello,

Just a question for those going thru a divorce. How the H$ll can you both live in the same house during a divorce?

I asked my H to share the house with me (one week on, one week off-- we both can stay with other family for awhile) to keep the peace in the house for the teenage kids while we decide what to do.

He refuses (neither of us can afford the house, even if I get child support and spousal support) nor do I even want to.

How do you disengage with the spouse 20 ft away?
I don't want to fight- I don't want to walk on eggshells. I don't want my kids in the middle of this living h$ll anymore.
They deserve better-- so do I.

...how did you do it?

I am in the same boat and have been there since September of last year. It is not easy by any means however we actually get along fairly well. We don't fight in front of the kids and if one of us gets to the other we usually just leave for a while to clear our head.

The worse thing right now about living with her though is I still want to treat her like my wife and want to be with her which is excruciating.

Neither of us can afford the house on our own and we are trying to sell it but the market is pretty bad.

My husband had been sleeping in the spare bedroom off and on for several months, before I found out about the resumed affair. Since first discovery 2 years ago, we were supposedly trying to repair our marriage, but he never put any real effort into it (lied to marriage counselor and to me, would not stop the LB remarks and deeds, still trying to coerce me into unwanted sex).

When I found out the affair was on again, EA and rapidly progressing to PA, I demanded that he vacate the house. His idea was that he continue sleeping in the spare room, and we just lead separate lives until the divorce. I put the KO on that, because he had already shown such a spectacular lack of ability to live in close proximity to me without being an [censored].

I told him to pack his crap and get the hell out. He protested "But I don't have anywhere to go, and not enough money for a hotel!" Told these were little details he should have considered before cheating; not my problem now. He ended up spending about 2 weeks living in my daughter's garage (Oh my God, that mental picture is sweet! LOL!), then I moved in with my sister for a couple of months, until I could rent an apartment.

I guess it depends on what the tone of your relationship is now, whether living in the same home will work. If both partners are withdrawn and into avoidance, it might work. If one or both is still dealing with a lot of anger, it is not likely to work. That bubbling pot of anger is likely to spew all too often for polite coexistence.

That's right.

I was glad when WW moved into her new place. Much of the anger was starting to fade, but being around her elicits sadness for me.

Ultimately the question has to be answered very much on an individual basis.

opt