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Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 19
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Joined: Apr 2010
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Does everyone else ensure that your EX gets a Mother's or Father's day gift from the kids?

My DS is only 2 1/2 so I kind of feel like in order to really recognize J as his dad I have to be responsible for getting him a card or something. But it's a bit awkward feeling to recieve or purchase a gift for J at this point.

What does everybody else do?

Joined: Oct 2009
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My ex got me a card from my son (that my son signed). This is my 5th mother's day, the first since the divorce, and I find it ironic that it's only the second time I've received a mother's day gift from my "family."

As for awkwardness, I agree. It was very awkward for me to get, but ok because my son was so pleased at having signed his name for me. OTOH, my son is now old enough to appreciate buying gifts for his dad, so I will ensure that he gets his father a gift/card for major holidays and such.


"If you will stop feeding your feelings, then they will stop controlling you" -Joyce Meyer
Joined: Jun 2008
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I was always supportive of my kids spending time with their dad on Father's Day and encouraged them to give him a card and a gift. On Father's Day 2005 my husband passed away and my ex (kids' dad) was mad at me because he missed getting his Father's Day on Father's Day (my son was in the military and my daughter came to the hospital to pick me up when my husband died). My kids did Father's Day with him a couple of days later.
So much for supportiveness.


Enacting life's lessons into positive change... .
Joined: Nov 2006
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I think it's about teaching the kids the right thing and demonstrating to them you must honor the other parent.

I make sure to help my kids get their mother something for Christmas and Mother's Day. Currently, I do not help them get something on her b-day, but if they asked I would. I do not understand why the birthday is different for me, but it is.

She does not recipricate, but that doesn't matter to me. I do what I believe is right regardless of her.


grindnfool
M-13 years
D-Day 10/26/06
Divorced 11.2007
DS-16, DD-9
Joined: Sep 2007
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Not that i am divorced however i agree with grindnfool.

My H has never gotten me anything from the kids for mother's day since we have been together, he always says i am not his mother.

It did not however stop me from getting him something from them on father's day because i too thought it was the right thing to do.

Now that they are old enough to do it on their own so i do not know what i would have done if it came to us not being together anymore when they were younger but i would like to think i would have done what i think is the right thing......

Joined: Jan 2010
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I would not, unless I felt that I were primarily to blame for the divorce (i.e., if it happened because I had abandoned my family or had an affair).

I wouldn't see a need to bear the burden of ensuring a good relationship with their other parent if that other parent didn't want to be married to me. In such a case, the EX is very often a crumb, and it's damaging and confusing to children to try to build such a person up in their mind more than they deserve. Let the EX who destroyed the child's home bear the cost of trying to repair the relationship with his or her children, if he wants to.


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