Bumping for another question....


Can I call in the power of a restraining order or protection from abuse order? I'm not in law enforcement or a lawyer by any means so here's the best place I can think to ask?

Woah.... where did this come from? Is this related to your situation?

If you were the one who got the order (as in victim) then you are the only one who could blow the whistle if it was violated. If you don't report it, it's only as good as the paper it's written on. As far as "calling it in"-- I suppose you could file a motion to dismiss it if it was issued by a Court, or you could write a letter requesting a dismissal to the agency.

I suggest calling the agency/court that issued the PO and ask them directly.

No, I haven't had an order yet. I'm just wondering outloud about legal means if this OP contacts him/us again.

How long did/does it take you to feel "happy" again?

He's doing everything I ask. He's given me all passwords and access to all accounts he didn't cancel after dday. He's as transparent in all things as a pane of windexed glass (and I'm monitoring all things to double check)

So how come I still feel so unhappy?

Because your foundation has been rocked to the core. You have discovered that your reality has been a sham. This is a very traumatic experience. It causes you to look at everything differently. You trusted and your trust was abused. You dared to be vulnerable to hurt, and your WH took advantage of that vulnerability in the worst possible way.

Now here you are, in the ashes of what was once your "reality". One thing I can tell you that will hopefully be of some consolation: it is unlikely that anything you ever experience in this lifetime will hurt you like this again. You have experienced the worst possible thing that could befall a human.

Your cut is very deep and very new. It's going to take some time to heal from this. Your WH is doing what he needs to do. The only thing that can't be given to you is time. And that's going to eventually be your friend.

It will get better, Amy. There was a time when I thought I would never laugh again, never have a conscious thought that didn't include the infidelity. I thought I was doomed to wake every morning with the A immediately on my mind. I thought I could never look at my H and not think of his A. But time has helped with all of that. It will get better.

Thanks Bliss, it feels like Groundhog Day here. He's getting every need met he could have ever wanted and *it feels like* all he had to do was start f-ing another woman to get it.

I've been wracking my brain to figure out if all my ENs are being met (he's meeting the ones I've IDed plus some...), if I've identified the right ones for me (I think I have...), if there's anything more I could ask him to do to help (anything I've asked so far he's done without a second thought or complaint...), but it just seems like I'm still unhappy.

I hesitate to go to the dr's for ADs because I'm still nursing the baby but maybe that's something I should do next to get over this little bump....

Don't dwell on this too much. It will breed resentment. If your H is truly remorseful he'll be hurting, too. He won't be thinking "Cool - I screwed OW and now my life is great."

My H's A was our wake-up call, too. We've talked about our needs and done the ENQ. He has cried his eyes out more than once and has said "If anyone could see what the END of an A looks like, they would never start."

Your H has paid a price.