Hi!<P>Read your post on the roll call. Been lurking mostly reading and learning. Seems like everyone is new to this recovery mess or in the grips of the disclosure.<P>Needed to find someone who had been "trying" for awhile. Seems like we are the over the hill gang!<P>I'm in a funk and am tired of waiting for the recovery to actually take hold. Its been so long and my H is trying except he is a non-communicator. He blames himself completely for the affair(please read my profile), thats great and all but somehow I feel theres more then meets the eye. <P>How do I get him to talk about what the driving force was to seek OW and then stay with her for so long even tho he says he was miserable and trapped. He says disclosure would of caused him to lose me. You know I would love to believe it but I remember I wasn't the perfect wife. <P>If you've got any helpful hints please send them my way. I feel desperate and hate to throw the towel in this far into this mess. I'm am tired of being depressed.<P>Anyone else out there who has been in it for awhile please feel free. I am a very spiritual person and know God is in this but when will this "age-long minute" end?<P>------------------<BR>eyes wide open<BR>