Thanx everyone.

It does feel good. I am really worried though. I guess that could be completely normal right? I am trying to get her to MB in hopes that they will have a CHANCE, a GREAT CHANCE.

So just got back from a walk with Scooch and the boys. Went to BIL's house. Another affair bit the dust today. BIL's GF has a friend who met her AP while he was still married, she has never been married. Actually, I think he still is. Well, they BROKE UP TODAY. Best news ever. Another one bites the dust. What is sad is that they have 2 children together. I know I have NEVER been happier to see people break up in my ENTIRE life. Usually, it is a sad thing but I couldn't be happier when I find out about AFFAIRS ending. WOOOHOOOOO

Their affair lasted 3 years. More than the 2 years, but to be honest, I think that WH was "cheating" on his OW with his wife and other girls. OW "cheated" too. It's just really sick what happens when people fall in that pit. I am so glad to be on the outside. It is just sick.

Wow, does NO ONE respect the institution of marriage anymore?

Present company excepted, of course.

I know, RIGHT. I was thinking that too. It seems that people in affairs tend to hang out with eachother too.

My grandma(my Dad's mom) had an affair. She then had an affairage. They were together for 32 years, until my grandma died 2 years ago. Her AP/H died 6 months later. Her POSOM was never really "accepted" but they were together for a long time, albeit not happily.

My grandfather on my mother's side, left my grandmother when my Mom was 14. They moved to Canada. My grandma didn't believe in divorce for religious reasons. My grandfather never filed for divorce, but he "dated" a woman for a long time. I only saw him 3 times. My grandma Plan B'd him for LIFE. He died about 20 years ago.

Affairs are everywhere. It is crazy making.

{{{{{Scottie}}}}}},

This is WONDERFUL news.......

I have NO doubts you've played a HUGE hand in this........ That's our girl!!!!!....

I will be doing some Xtra praying for your folks in the in-coming weeks.....

Not2fun

Thanx. All the prayers will help. They need all of the help they can get. I don't even know if my Dad knows. Won't that be interesting?

LOve the perfume storys
Had some jokes about Cats marking thier territory but they were just to racy. Use your imagination..

It will be great when the time comes that POSOW is afraid to even be in the truck when WH picks up the Kids.


To bad you don't know if shehas allergies so you could infuse the perfume...


Is that good enough to be part of the Evil Genius Club?

I stated before there is only one requirement to be a member in the Evil Genius Club. All you have to do is come up with things to do to WSs and APs that are considered genius in an evil sort of way and throws some wrenches in affairs. So anyone can join.

MU..HAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAA

I was wondering about that......

yes it SHOULD be interesting.....maybe you can teach your mom about EP's and help
get them in place before dad gets home???.....hmmmmm

We have been talking about the EPs. She told me that THING was the first man she had ever talked to about her marital problems. Also, she used to drive him home from work. I have talked to her about some of the things she is going to have to do(Other than NC letter, etc since she already knows about this). I told her how she was going to have to get rid of anything that reminds her of THING as this will keep her foggy. She started a new job, but she says it may remind her of THING.

See, at first I was telling her things that my WH would have to do when he came home. Now, I realize that she was making mental notes of the things she would have to do. I am really pushing for her to come on here. I don't know if I can do this without your help.

I guess I get to help guide someone here. I am really worried about all of this for them.

Maybe I can help a little with that.

OK, time to switch gears a bit...

I feel it necessary to stay in Plan A while in Plan B...what does that mean? That means don't do vindictive or mean-spirited actions while you are dark. Remember to act in a way that a loving wife would. Would you spray on perfume after FWH came home? no... he did ask. And in a way I think it might be even more enticing to NOT spray on perfume...then he will be sniffing them when they get in the car...when he detects nothing, he will be sniffing away at their clothes and bags...nothing, or just a hint...

Can you see him 2 weeks from now sniffing the seats of his car for the last remnants of your perfume?

In all your actions do it in love... even the smell front, become totally dark. The POSOW is probably pressuring him to D and he is probably feeding her lines.... The less you are present, the less you become a target for them and they will turn on each other...

So EVIL GENIUS CLUB...work on things at home...changes to make...moving on...doing fun things with the boys they won't stop talking about...

What else this will do for you is keep you from dropping loonies...every time you think of an evil plan, you are thinking of him, and losing love...

Time to take care of Scotty!

I agree with stilly on this. Plus I think no more operation olive branch. You need to be pitch black dark.

AARP just published a survey.

Previously, in the 45+ age group,
47% believed that sex with anyone other than your spouse was wrong. The new study lowers that number on the same question to 28%

Scotland,

I spent hours reading most of your thread. I so admire you and it was amazing to me how well you did and continue to do. You are why I finally decided to join and try to get some help of my own from all these wonderful people. Even though our situations are different I actually drew strength from your story and your actions.

I stopped reading around page #150 and now I see you did get your puppy. I guess I better go back and finish reading to find out the rest of the story.

I believe all things happen for a reason. I also believe when God closes one door he opens a better one. He also brings things into our lives or helps us through problems so that we can help others going through the same thing.

Sorry for rambling, I just wanted to send you a quick thank you...LOL...I have a tendency to talk a lot!!!!

HU

If you do stop spraying the perfume, it needs to NOT look like it's in response to his email, which info you never should have gotten.

Start forgetting once in a while, spread it out, then stop altogether. Make it look natchurl.

I think I will take Neak's suggestion on this.

Dealing with other things. Kids sure get affected by this. I am at a loss. I will do what I can.

Okay, here it is. In a nutshell this is what we have.

My WH lives with POSOW(WF). He goes to work with WF. He deposits his paycheque into the bank account and takes out money for gas, food, truck payments, truck insurance and cell phone. He leaves the rest in there. It is a joint account and it hasn't changed even though he left.

He has not changed his address on anything. ALL of his mail still comes here. Even stuff from his work, the bank and his credit card.

When he writes to the IM, he writes the message to ME. It isn't written to the IM. It is as though he believes I am reading it, or that it is being sent copied and pasted to me.

I was not planning an olive branch for another 6 weeks or so. What is your reasoning on not doing them anymore? It's not that I am not agreeing to not do them, I am just curious as to the reasons to stop.

I am having a hard time dealing with the marital stuff at the moment and am dealing with DS7 and his problems with school. He was sent home again today. It took 45 minutes of kicking, screaming and carrying to get him out. This is NOT fun. Then the vice-principal suggested that my DS7 needed to go to a pediatrician to find out what is wrong. I said, "How are they going to help?" I then said, "I hope you are not suggesting medication." She said, "I am not a doctor." Well, you've got that RIGHT.

DS7 gets to a point where he is pushed to his limit. When he gets there, there is no reasoning with him. The best thing to do is avoid letting him get to the limit. If he passes that magical line, you need to wait it out and let him know that his behaviour is unacceptable. I honestly thought that teachers were more equipped to deal with these kinds of situations. ARGHHHHHHHHH LIFE SUCKS AZZ TOO.

Scotty, do you have the kids in counseling. This may give them an opportunity to express the feelings they have. Counselor may also be able to give you some insight on how to help the kids express their feelings. I believe that your DS is probably acting out from frustration - having the feelings that he has and not knowing why or how to express them. Also he is probably like most kids and feels somehow responsible for the situation, even though it has voiced that he is not. Unfortunately kids take on that responsibility.

It is a horrible circumstance and I feel terrible for you. My DstepKids are having a hard time with this and they are adults.

So my thoughts and prayers are for you and your sweet boys. But I would look into a child counselor/psychologist who specializes in family counseling or maybe something like a big brothers organization that could provide a male mentor for him, someone to do things with and talk to.

Just a thought.

Wayturds suck and are selfish!

My reasoning for no more operation olive branch...at least none in the near future is two fold.

1. I worry about you. You are too exposed to him still via the kids emails. You know too much. Your LB is gonna run dry. The more you reach out without response (at least none you know of) the more damage done to you.

2. The tone is changing from him. I think he is too certain of you. I think he still believes you are his "back up plan", so instead of making waves in the A (and this is my perspective so I could be wrong) you are cementing it.

This is just my opinion, ymmv.

Your DS7...is he getting counseling? Does he have an outlet for his anger and confusion over his dad's betrayal? Is the school aware of what is going on?

I understand you have had some issues with him prior to this but the escalation has got to be related to the trauma. Is there a teacher at school better equipped to deal with him? Or how about if he feels he is reaching his limit you come up with a code word he can say to his teacher so she can give him his space...perhaps be allowed to go for a drink of water or some sort of "time out" that is not seen as punishment but as a means to wind down. Sort of like what they do for some kids with sensory issues, where they have a weighted blanket for those moments when everything is too much. KWIM?

BTW, has your DS7 ever been evaluated for sensory problems? It sounds like he gets overloaded, perhaps by too much stimuli?