I think it would be a FABULOUS idea! You deserve it, and if it happens to have ripples, well who cares? You deserve it. End of story.

And yeehaw for your dad!

I hope a swarthy mature guy approaches you and with much respect and manners flirts with you.

Just for the ego boost you deserve dear scotty, I know you are mature enought to handle it.

Dress up and go out and just have fun. Be sure to stay safe.

Mom is home? With dad? Yeehaw! Did she write a NC letter?

Hey Scotty, I just popped in and saw this part so maybe I missed the whole background, but generally speaking, the WS should get about ONE outreach after a year has passed. Anything more than that is a breach of Plan B that sends the message to the WS that you aren't really serious.

Additionally, this message should come through the IM at HER discretion, not yours. You should not know about it at all. The IM should do this when she thinks it is warranted. Even then it should be a RARE, RARE thing. 2x tops over the 2 year period.

Also, is your IM sending you his actual messages? How do you know he is writing to you and not the IM?

This is my new email IM(sister of my original IM). I don't think she understood that she was supposed to filter it. I showed her how to filter it after she sent me that entire message. I think it will be fixed now.

I have decided to stop doing the olive branch thing.

FF-My Mom is home with my Dad. I haven't had a chance to talk to my Dad about it yet though. Mom has not written the NC letter yet. I told her about it on Friday. I am going to ask her about it again. She is of course still full of wayward thinking. She has talked to me about the things that she will not put up with from my Dad. If he does these things, she will leave. I told her that she needs to also tell my Dad what she is going to change so this doesn't happen again.

She hasn't even finished reading SAA yet. I am going to ask her to finish it. I am also going to get her to read HNHN and LB. I am trying to get her to come post on here. FINGERS CROSSED.

Prayers going up for both of your parents. Once she is completely NC and goes through withdrawl (you need to get your dad to read SAA and understand about withdrawl) hopefully the entitlement will disappear.

Excellent news about your parents Scotty. I hope it works out for them.

Boy, this makes sense on so many levels Mel.

What do you think? Should Scotty be thinking about moving on? I don't mean giving up on the marriage. I mean thinking about what she might be having to deal with and trying to see positive possibilities in the future. I don't remember if you see a therapist Scotty but maybe its time to start to work on letting go He might not ever get his poop together and you are an awesome young lady who deserves to be happy.

Maybe if she stops caring the numbskull will sense it. I just wanna see Scotty get the respect she deserves . She certainly is giving him it.

Sorry Scotty having a moment about this. You can ignore me and tell me your OK as much as you want I will go along with you for posterity but I will still worry. That said. another question here..


How deeply should the Ims understand MB concepts and what they are supposed to be looking for in communication? To me the perfect IM would be someone who knew the family personally but was also involved with MB and/or ahd been to a seminar, read some books, used the questionaries. Even better someone who had some depth of undertanding as to how the wayward mind works.

To me it would also need to be a couple who have a healthy marrige and understand the rules.

Scotty my sincerest hopes for you that WH eventually comes home and you smack him sqaure in the nose, and he takes it like a man. Then let the healing begin!!

Grats on your parents Scotty

SSO-I have been trying to move on, looking at the positives that could come out of life without WH. That is pretty much my PLAN. I am NOT giving up on the marriage.

Now about the Olive Branches, I am not going to do anymore. I had done them because they were suggested to me. I would have kept PITCH BLACK DARK. When it was suggested to me, I even remember having read something that DrH wrote about having small breaks in Plan B. I wish I could find what it was that I was reading. ARGH. Well, I will keep looking.

I had also read other people's threads and they had breaks in their Plan B and still recovered. I was wondering if that was part of the reason they recovered. That was where my mindset was at that time.

PITCH BLACK PLAN B. That's where I am at.

Yes, Dr. H has suggested (I think through the IM's an occasional note saying the BS still would like to recover the M) and I believe SH has had other posters do a peek out from Plan B when he feels the WS needs to know the BS still wants the M.

My worry for you was for your health. I think you have done an excellent job thus far, scotty. We just want a happy, healthy scotty.

Thanx for worrying about me. It's unnecessary but welcome.

I know I will get through this. I am already better off than I was 5 months ago when Bampot left.

Heck, I am better off emotionally than I have been in a couple of years.

Bampot?

Dictionary definition of �bampot�

bampotn. a crazy person; a fool or dolt. Subjects: Scots, Scotland
Etymological Note: Most likely a form of barmpot. According to OED, barm, �the froth that forms on top of fermenting malt liquors; the head of a beer,� is used attributively as a formative to indicate a crazy or feeble-minded person or idea. This is, obviously, related to barmy or balmy �crazy.� Thanks to Michael Quinion for the tip on bampot�s etymology. Probably not related to the Irish Gaelic bambairne �dolt, stupid person, lout.� In �Some Modern Irish loanwords describing people� (Celtica vol. 18, p. 53, 1986, School of Celtic Studies, Dublin) M�che�l � Siadhail connects bambairne to the old Spanish slang bambarria, which, according to the Velasquez Spanish and English Dictionary (1985, New Win Publishing) means �a fool; an idiot.� Bambarria is glossed as �blockhead� in Carnoy, Albert. �Apophony and Rhyme Words in Vulgar Latin Onomatopoeias. American Journ. of Philology. vol. 38, no. 3. (1917)

My new name for WH. I was using Pep's DM(Dorkus-Maximus). My Dad came home from Scotland and told me about the word. I decided that since my name on here is Scotland, it would be appropriate.

Hahhaah what a great name for him, Scotty! And glad to hear you are being so strong and doing well. It's people like you that I look to for inspiration!

It's nice and unique, I kinda like it!

Oh I have some weak moments. I do.

Actually, I feel weak A LOT. I have had moments where I looked at WH. I have thought about writing to him. I do keep a Plan B journal for him and when I really want to contact him, I write him a letter in notepad and save it onto my desktop. It is just my way of getting my feelings out that I want to say to him. I used to write to him all of the time when he was still here. He stopped reading them about a year ago. Now I know why. I already KNEW this was going to be a long haul. I knew when I went into Plan B, that I was ready to go until my end date. I have stated before that I am keeping it to myself though, so I can change it if I want to.