Got the OW's name!!!!! and her XH and her kids. OW is 52 years old and WH is 37. Can't find yet where she works, but her XH works for the state dept that funds my job. Not sure what to do yet because I want to wait til after D is over in order to make nuclear explosion for their lives hurt without hurting me because he can claim that he has more expenses if she kicks his a@# out when she finds out about the escorts, etc.

Where do I go to get more info about her?? Done pipl and there is little to nothing there??? Fun fact...if he marries her, he will be a grandpa at age 37!!! Her son just had a baby.

Your going to wait till after your divorce to expose?? That wont accomplish much since you are already divorced people will think you are being vindictive and mean. You do it DURING your marriage so you can HELP your marriage. I'm confused. ??

There is no longer a marriage to be saved for me. Found out way too many horrible things that he has done including contacting over 38 different internet escorts, etc. Unfortunately, no matter how hard I tried to save my marriage over these last 10 months, he was not interested. I have to move on with my life after finding out the things he has done with soooo many different women over the last 8-10 years. He is not interested in changing himself or to leave the OW who is only 7 years younger than my mother and 15 years older than him. If I want my sanity and to try and protect my kids from his mental/emotional abuse, I have to move towards keeping him away from as as much as possible and to get the kids into counseling.

As hard as this might seem to understand, I truly pray that his eyes are opened by God one day and he is able to see what he is/has done to the kids, myself, and worst of all himself. I fear that he is going to "catch" a disease from one of these people and I can't wait around for him to come to his senses. I fear that one day he will fall hard on his face and it will be a disaster for himself and all of us if I hang around. He asked for the divorce in April, but would not move forward with anything. I needed him to have some rules put in place to follow, including "her" and any other "hers" that might be out there away from my children.

If his expenses go up prior to the divorce being finalized because she kicks him out or something, that could be worse for me in the finalization of the financial outcomes. When I share information, it will be to protect my kids from meeting her if she is not willing to stick around with someone that is cheating numerous times on her. There is a slight air of being vindictive, but maybe it will wake him up to all the terror he is causing to us.

This does put a rather different complexion on things.

Does the judge really take the AP's $ into account when they are not M'd to the WS? That doesn't seem right. Have you spoken to a lawyer about that?

M or D aside, the sooner this A ends, the sooner WH will at least have a chance to be a better father to his kids.

The judge will take into account WH's expenses and right now those are cut in half or more because OW pays half to all the expenses for the household. I know this sick A needs to end because he will never be a good father to our kids until he gets help. The escorts are now getting as young as 19 (assuming they put their actual age down). He's gonna end up getting himself in huge trouble if he is not careful.

I'd get the settlement asap because it is not viewed as family funds if he is still unmarried.

My x was a non remorseful xwh. the only time he was a decent father was when he was getting tons of attention and during the early stages of his affairage. After year two, he went back to being a crappy dad and started cheating again on the xow/w.

The whole escort and potential disease situation and ema isn't the most positive situation and maybe you should move on and begin to do a permanent plan B to him.

That's what I did but my plan B turned into a plan "me"! I focused instead on my child and recovery and let xwh to his own judgement. And it turned out as everybody expected his situation would turn out.

Wishing you love and healing.