I need some advise before I go crazy! This is the story: My H was involved with OW for about one month (emails, phone calls, meetings) before I discovered it. I never let on that I knew, since I needed PROOF. The OW H discovered the affair also and blew the whistle on them before it got sexual. My H was remorseful and we both agreed to work on our marriage. He made a promise to me that he would not contact her again. Everything was going fine for several weeks, until I had a "feeling" they were communicating again. (They do alot of AOL Instant Mail, and I cant track that). When I confronted him (without any proof) he is the KING of Deny and Lie!<BR>What I think they are doing now is communicating, but VERY carefully. I think they are probably emailing from work and talking on the phone during work hours. Everywhere I have checked and searched comes up clean. But still I have a persistent uneasy feeling about it. I know in my heart it is still going on and need to know a way to find out the truth. It was easier knowing the truth, then not knowing and constanting wondering. Any advise please?<BR>

Aces<BR>Wow, my H had 4 week affair than had yet to turn sexual. I think he was meaning to walk away when I discovered, and I don't think he saw her except to say it was over.<P>However, I am sure he spent the next 8 weeks on the phone with her. It is 10 months later, and I still do not quite get it.<P>After several months of not talking about it and really doing well in recovery, we had quite a talk today where I told him all the pain I was still in even though I no longer feel threatened by his relationship.<P>I know believe he went in it somewhat naive (she kissed him after meeting him in a bar).<BR>I don't think he ever was looking to leave me or our girls. I don't think he ever became emotionally involved with her significantly...I think he was more curious than anything (he didn't date much before me). <P>Still, for whatever reason, he could not just let it go that easily. I think he felt guilty because she was professing her great love after two weeks (gag), she probibly provided comfort while I was a basket case and I think she was threatening to embarrass him or me (although I'm not sure about that).<BR>Anyway, I found out he was still in phone contact and he said he was ready to end it and I believe he did.<P>In other words, I really didn't manipulate the outcome. He wanted to leave the relationship, but my broken heart, or even his intentions, was quite enough to make a clean break right away.<P>On the bright side, when it was time, I don't think it was all that difficult. I don't think he had any real withdrawl or even missed her.<P>Don't know if this is a comfort or not, but it is the brutal truth.<P>I am sorry for your pain.<P>------------------<BR>Faith, Hope, Love Remain,<BR>but the greatest of these is Love.<BR>1 Corinthians 13:13

I am a firm believer in following your "gut instinct". I even believe it can be one way the good Lord protects and/or communicates with us. <BR>That persistent uneasy feeling may or may not mean anything. I'm not sure HOW you can find out if indeed there is still contact between your H and OW. Since I also believe in "do something wrong and you will eventually get caught", your H may "slip" and "tell" on himself. Problem is waiting for that to happen. Sorry I can't offer any great advice and like FHL said...I'm sorry for your pain.<P>------------------<BR>For I know the thoughts I think<BR>toward you, saith the Lord,<BR>thoughts of peace, not of evil,<BR>to give you an expected end.<BR>Jeremiah 29:11<BR>