Some part of you suspects something. Otherwise, why post on a forum dealing with affairs?

The way to recover things is to engage her in fun ways as if you were just dating in high school. In other words, Plan A.

But if she told you she regrets telling you that she wants a D, then suggest you move back in. Either that, or just flat out do it.

She may get ticked, but that would show a bigger sign that she is having an affair than not.

Hire a PI or a friend to spy on her to see if she is seeing someone.

And there's lots of ways to contact someone today that doesn't involve a cell phone.

If she's smart then she's gotten a throw away one.

Wishing does not make it so. It just sets you up for more hurt. You can't hide your head in the sand just because you don't want to find out you're being played. You especially can't do that when there are children who's happiness depends on it.

all this mess was created because i was the 1 having internet affairs not her

So she may be having a revenge affair. If so, the way to deal with it is to find out about it and stop it (expose), while presenting yourself as the best option for a relationship.

You have to do both. Doing a half-baked Plan A without making 110% sure she's not cheating is useless, she'll happily continue using both you and the OM until one of you puts a stop to it.

You are being played.

Whoa, now I'm totally lost! On some pages you say you are absolutely sure your W is not having an A but then on other pages you say things like "but that other dude better back off he has no idea what i am capable of".

What other dude are you referring to and what, exactly, do you mean by "he better back off?" Better back off of "WHAT???" Whatever it is, it apparently makes you angry (ie: he has no idea what I am capable of). Can you give us more info about this, please?

Is this the "dude" you spoke of earlier? How do you KNOW he has feelings for her and what do you mean by "circling like a shark?" Yes, I know what it means but I want to hear what YOU think it means.

Also, in one post you write;
And, in your VERY NEXT POST
you write;
Huh???

Those two comments totally contradict one another. How can you BE SO SURE and SO UNSURE at the same time?

No emails, no phone records, no texting, etc doesn't prove squat. Remember what YOU, yourself, wrote above; "unless i was with her every minute of everyday there is no way to know 100%?"

Unless your W spends every minute of everyday with you then you "KNOW" there is no way of knowing 100% for sure that she is not having an A, right? Of course it's right, you even said it YOURSELF! It might be time for you to start snooping FURTHER then just through emails, phone records and texting, don't you think?

Uhm, what person is "totally out of the picture?" Is this the "dude" you mentioned before or are you referring to some other guy altogether (perhaps the one from grade school that's been circling her like a shark?). Or is this all just one guy giving your W so much "sharkly" attention?

Personally, I believe you know more than you are letting on and that, right there, can make it all that much more difficult for us to help you. Granted, we'll do our best to try and help you all the same but, take note, if you don't open up and give us more than just half-assed answers all we can do is give you half-assed advice in return.

Is that what you really want?

It takes two to Tango, Nal, and until you are ready to lay some blame on your W you are not going to get anywhere. Remember, two wrongs don't make a right!

Good luck to you. :-)