Hey Izzy and Gang,<P>Saw your reply to me in a different thread. Though I give you guys an update. <P>Last week I "woke up". Got my head out of my @$$. I finally got off that damn roller coaster ride I was stuck on for the last 7 months. I was a little dizzy at first, but, I have regained my self respect and really like myself again.<P>I don't know exactly what snapped upstairs but thank God I'm back. Didn't like the person I had become. Depressed ,despondent a real sad sack, I didn't want to be with me. I wish there were some magic words or a special potion I could pass on to you guys to break the spell which we are under. I am really happy again. Wellbutrin has really taken the edge off. I no longer have the anxiety attacks and don't constantly think of the affair. Glad that's over.<P>I have put my feelings and wants first and foremost in "my" life. Some of you don't like Fighters "harsh" delivery of his posts, but, I'll tell you he has good solid advice. I'll put it a little more gently. Put yourself as a first priority to fix and heal. I had put too much emphasis on getting my W back and not enough time and energy on me. I had to fix me first. Ya know what, not only did Izzy see a difference in my outlook and attitude but Val did too. <P>She called me on Friday to see what I was up to this weekend. I had a football standby on Saturday night and told her I was taking my two kids to see "Penn and Teller" at the State Theater. She nearly pooped her pants. "Your'e going to Penn and Teller?". Yep. This took her by complete suprise. I was doing something for me and the kids and didn't ask or beg her to be involved. She called me today to say she tried to get a ticket so she could go along with us but they were sold out.<P>I just got back. Had to take Timmy back to college tonight. He has an early class. We had the absolute best time. Got to meet both Penn and Teller after the show. <P>Izzy, with regard to your question about Brian. It seems that after the light of day hit the affair it wasn't quite as appealing as it once was. Seems the wind has been taken out of its sails. Val has called me regularly after I asked her to leave back in March to see how I am.<P>She has most recently been taking two college courses at night. He asked her to move in with him. She wouldn't. Seems to me if she was still really interested in a future with him she would want to spend each waking hour with him. Not sign up for some non credit courses two nights a week. FIL believes it is almost over.<P>I will be nice to her, I love her dearly. No love busters. Made a bad move with starting the divorce process. BIG TIME LB. I don't suggest that unless you have gone thru Plan A and Plan B and are serious about ending it for good. I heard about it again today. We have until January 15 to think about it. If she wants to talk reconsiliation I will listen. If she wants to talk divorce I will listen. But, I will be happy with myself no matter the resolve. <P>Wishing us all the Best,<P>Medic
