Trying to get into the head of a WH, my husband has decided after he told me he was in love with his OW that he has reconsidered and that she is not really what he wanted after all. He said he only cared for her but is still in love with me....
What was your thinking process on the choice making and what did you think was your responsibility in recovery of the marriage.
How did you make things right in your own head about the choice you made.
Did you ever regret the decision?
Was it hard to give up the OW?
Do you think it was really love or just affair thinking?
I'm more interested in the thinking as you were having an affair, after the affair......I know guys and girls are different

jess - do you know for sure why he "gave up" the OW?

Virtually all cheaters want to have both a marriage *and* dates on the side, and they will keep this up just as long as they possibly can. They almost never just "choose" to give it up.

Did she dump him? Did her husband intervene? Are you sure?

I've always thought that you weren't ready to divorce.

Hang in there and see what happens next.

Mulan,
Well he says the reason he gave up on our marriage and had the affair was because he thought I no longer loved him....he is not good at communicating and he was really not to interested in spending a lot of time with me in the last couple of years of our marriage.....he was cranky and I guess I didn't do anything about it......
Trying to stay out of his way to not set him off......not right I realize but the facts.
He said he always loved me and when he found out that I still was in love with him and still wanted the marriage to work out. He felt differently, he said he wished he had put the effort into coming to me and working things out, he didn't and he regrets that. He said he cares for the OW and what he has done to her, she claims she is in love with him, broke up her marriage and has disturbed her family(kids lives) in hope of a life with him......I know he has stopped all contact with her, I have total access to all his communications, email, texting, comp, he is home all the time now.......
I without a doubt know that this is decision to not end the marriage, we have a separation agreement in place and alimony is happening since Jan 1st and this is my choice and part of my agreement to give the marriage another shot, he says whatever it takes for me to be happy, he will do whatever it takes on my terms...

As long as their is NC. NC letter sent. AND, you can verify NC then things are looking good.