SB...

If you have a chance, would you take a look at these texts I received from OW. My thread -- for background -- is Plan B: Vacation for WS?

Bimbo's babble....
So funny you text me asking me to make sure he's prepared because u need to settle. U will never settle u have no self respect as a woman. None.
(happy face) thank you though. We get closer each time he has court. Him and I are so good. So good. Stay in court forever because sex gets better each time. I will be here for him. I see all u ever wanted from him was money. Ur pitiful. he's in great hands now though. Him and I will be great! and we will make sure all of kids are great! Go find some self respect.
U don't want to keep texting me. I've let it go on to long. (happy face) have a great day!

My response:
Thank you for the text. I will be forwarding it to his parents, our attorneys, and our friends. You need to take better care of him. He wasn't looking too good today. And you know all about the money, honey. You are both in my prayers.

Text 2....

"Go ahead and forward the text you never should of started texting me.
Go ahead with your sob stories and pity party. Victim thinking... Everyone sees it. His poor parents have to deal with u. (sad face)
Do what u have to do little lady. (happy face)
There comes a time when people have had enough. So crazy how ur making your kids suffer. Wow! Now I see what people mean. So pitiful."

I responded "What texts? I sent ONE text since D!ck left. Might want to get him to a Dr. soon. Daddy doesn't look well."

The last text was so vile and mean, I immediately deleted it. Basically...

Daddy is so good. Pray for us? Ha, Ha. Take as long as you want. I'll just keep looking at my engagement ring.

OW sent these immediately following our (WH and mine) court appearance on Monday. What's your opinion of these texts?

WH got a ruling financially in his favor. He should have been happy. The texts arrived within 20 minutes of us leaving the court house. This was also the same day as the start of DD's HS graduation events.

In addition, WH has told our kids, his parents and others that I've been harassing OW with phone calls and texts which I swear I have not and have absolutely no knowledge of anyone doing this.

I value your opinion and appreciate your help.

Thanks. HH

And WH also added to the frenzy by sending a text right after text #2. I'll post later.

You need to do something about being accused...I'm not sure what you'd do, but...

I'm not SB but I think your WH and OW are having Chai-XWH-syndrome.

The desire to beat down the BS to the point of no return.

I did what I said I was going to do after I received text #1. I immediately forwarded the text to several MBers, my sisters, a few close friends AND D!ck -- in case he wasn't aware.

He was aware. His response:

"Go back thru all ur classy text messages. She is a great person who would never act like u have. U and #### (my attorney)actually make a nice couple. Ask him out. Trade for fees"

So he jumped right into the frenzy.

I responded to him:
What texts? I sent ONE text since you left. You r crazy. She's framing me and you r too stupid to see it. Get a check up too. U dont look well.

After the third text from Bimbo saying they're engaged, I sent this:
So your engaged? Give your attny copy of receipt. I'll tell the kids. Way to ruin DD's graduation.

That's it.

I'm fearful of this OW. She has a pattern of going after people. She has gone to people's (ex gf of H#2, a friend of mine) jobs and caused scenes. She got restraining order against her last bf. She manipulated last H out of house by including her mom on house paperwork so she was awarded a higher percentage of the equity.

She's threatened suicide when WH came home during false recoveries. She's manipulative. She convinced WH to follow the teachings of "the Law of Attraction" whereby the Universe will give you all you desire. WH told me he and her listen to tapes, do some kind of circle chant, and repeat affirmations to themselves and each other.

He gave me literature to read during his first false recovery home asking if I might be open to this. It seems VERY anti-God and VERY self-serving/selfish.

After being with OW for nearly 3 years, and living with her exclusively for the past 17 months, he seems a lost cause.

HH - why on earth are you saying even one word to either one of these people?? Or listening to even one word *from* them?

This was the first text I'd received from OW since WH left over a year ago. I was shocked when it came. I was at lunch with a friend and we read it together.

I'm not in Plan B... I'm in Plan D/FU. If I need evidence to give to my attorney that she's harrassing me or my children, then I will read and report.

I should have not responded. That was a reaction I will need to control.

I do believe in the Art of War. Know your enemy. What info. I gather may turn into ammo down the line. I have lots of ammo so far.

My situation is also compounded by the fact that WH has squandered our marital funds on both OW and gambling. He was recently fired from a high paying job. I HAVE to find whatever evidence I can to prove misappropriation of funds in our trial.

So the mentioning of an engagement ring -- when we just went to court and my support being reduced by $2000/mo. because he "has no money" is important.

I cannot turn off the flow of information because, in my situation, it will be financial suicide for me and my children.

I am not looking for marriage recovery. I tried for over two years. I have no love left. I just wanted to know from SB if I need to do anything extraordinary to deal with these psychos.

This is also a long term marriage. We were together over 30 years and this year was to be our 25th anniversary. He "turned" when he met her...gradually... to all out crazy -- just like her.

I've heard of people getting to a breaking point. Not that he's hit rock bottom -- but that they become so desperate they will stop at nothing to get their way.

Sadly, I need to know if my life is in danger.

HH, OW is psycho......I am not SB, but IDK she has gone off the deep end....What about you getting a restraining order against her? Just thinkin out loud. IDK why, but she is out to ruin you. Now with the divorce she has no more drama, so shes making some. She is certifiable, really.

Sorry HH, I just am in shock that she is torturing you more, WTH? be strong.....Hugs and prayers.

So funny you text me asking me to make sure he's prepared because u need to settle. U will never settle u have no self respect as a woman. None. This shows fear - she is afraid of finances, that you will continue to come to court over a period of many years, and that she will never be free of your attempts to "interfere" with what she has come to view as "HER MONEY". You are a threat to her money, and what she says here is her truth - you will never settle, and she will deal with your threat to her money as long as she is with your STBX. The use of the sentence regarding your lack of self-respect is an attempt to get you to back off of "her money", and stand on your own, now that you are going to be single - well, why don't you want to do this on your own and be a self-respecting woman??? At least that is her argument - which would work for HER.
(happy face) thank you though. We get closer each time he has court. Him and I are so good. So good. Stay in court forever because sex gets better each time. Recognize this for what it is - the reverse is true. they fight when you go to court. I will be here for him. Here's the "tell" regarding the prvious lie. If things were so terrific after court, then why would she have to be "there" for him? I see all u ever wanted from him was money. Again, a reversal. Ur pitiful. he's in great hands now though. Him and I will be great! She is saynig, with fingers crossed. Dosn't this reek of hope and not reality? and we will make sure all of kids are great! /this is a direct jab meant only to hurt you. she is a vindictive little biatchhhh. Go find some self respect.
U don't want to keep texting me. My messages are going to get meaner and meaner, and my VERY true colors will come out. You have only screatched the surface. I've let it go on to long. (happy face) have a great day!

Hi schoolbus, hope all is well. I really need to thank you for everything you did for me. Please take care of yourself.

"Go ahead and forward the text you never should of started texting me. She actually makes a good point. Don't text her anymore, she is mean, vindictive, and unpredictable. Right now, you should avoid any contact with the both of them.
Go ahead with your sob stories and pity party. Victim thinking... Everyone sees it. Everyone - meaning those on the affairland side of the fence. She has worked hard to make you look like a nut. His poor parents have to deal with u. Actually, another reversal, only she has NO IDEA that this is the case. His parents are actually just beginning to realize they will be having to deal with HER. Their awareness has only just begun. (sad face)
Do what u have to do little lady. (happy face)
There comes a time when people have had enough. So crazy how ur making your kids suffer. Wow! Now I see what people mean. She is trying to hint that she is now on the "inside" and you are on the "outside". That people are talking about you....that her plan to make you look like a nut has worked. Trust me, her true colors have begun to leak out, beginning with their plans for the wedding, and the money she will spend there. Watch and see. So pitiful."

I do see some ability on her part to be dangerous, in terms of her tendency to want to stick it to you right after the court deal.

Her texts look like she was elated that WH won financially, which for her meant that "her money" would be more hers, and that in another way "SHE WON". She is feeling like she has won your man, and the money, too.

What underscores her messages is this kind of sense of meanness - like this all has nothing to do with love at all, but with a calculated plan to "get" something she was after....like this has nothing at all to do with a relationship whatsoever, but with a financial situation to her.

I have not read your thread at all, and therefore this scan of your texts has not been affected or influenced by anything of that nature - this is a simple cold read on the text messages. I don't know the marital history or affair history.


The financial focus of this woman bothers me a lot. If it were me, I would probably change banks, and also subscribe to a credit alert/lock agency. She bugs me enough that this type of security would make me sleep better. Just something about her focus on the money would put me on notice - she seems dishonest, and vindictive. To me, that ten or fifteen bucks would help me sleep better. And making sure she had no idea where I was banking would help. If there's child support, have it go through the court, and your husband has no information about your bank; or trail it into one account and then move it out every month immediately to the other one.

Is she dangerous? I don't know from what is here. Certainly she is MEAN.


SB

Don't poke a wasp nest with a sharp stick.
That's all folks.
From my phone, hence brevity.

Just think about when (not if) she turns on D(ck.

I agree to change banks or credit security. I can see her spending much time dwelling on what you are doing and what you have.

Think "bunny in the pot".

Stay very dark to both and it will make her more crazy but you won't see it. She is an outcast and trying to claw her way into the tribe.

Thank you for your insight, SB. Unfortunatley for me, you have her pegged. She is all you say and more as verified by her last H and bf and all the intellegence I've been able to gather, especially her credit report.

She's good at what she does. She's an opportunist and a manipulator so when one funding stream/man dries up, she already has the next one lined up. She uses sex, need for rescuing, threats of suicide, WHATEVER to get her way. Now she's coming after me, and I don't know how to play this kind of game.

What gets messy this time is that she's yet to deal with a STBXW, and she's not liking it one bit. She's marked her territory -- him and his money -- and she won't let anything stop her. You are right. She's unpredicable.

And about the money. WH used substantial amounts of our community funds to support her and their A. They do not want this coming to light. That is why the holdup of coming up with a settlement. Much is documented on credit card statements, and WH is doing all he can to not produce these -- even after they have been subpoenaed. If WH is required to pay back all the A debt, she will be VERY upset and may leave him.

So if they can shut me up, they can continue to live the fantasy. If I shut up, it's financial suicide for me and our kids.

You are right -- she is mean and vindictive. I have only seen her in person once in the almost three years since the start of the A. I confronted her at her house. She punched me and called the police. I agree... she is trying to stick it to me. She will stop at nothing to ruin my reputation or to hurt me via my children.

And strangely, WH is BECOMING her... with his words and actions. It's almost like he's brainwashed or under hypnosis. He dresses differently, he uses different phrases, he ignores our children, he avoids all contact with his past life -- his parents, siblings, old friends. It's like he's in an abusive relationship with OW controlling all of his thoughts and deeds.

For example, several months ago -- for the first time -- WH took DD out of state to look at a college. Shortly after reaching their destination, OW started up with the phone calls to WH. They fought to the point that DD text me saying it was "disgusting" how WH had to keep apologizing for being with DD, how he kept saying "you don't mean it" and "I'm only here for DD." When the calls started again the next day, DD told him to stop talking in front of her -- to take it outside the room. He argued with DD then tried to cut their trip short. And OW drove him to and from our airport preventing WH from stopping by to pick up or drop off DD from our home. She also wanted to make sure I wasn't at the airport!

And she has turned him away from me -- me, who's been his companion for 30 years. She has him convinced that I've been harrassing her with phone calls and texts that are cruel. He keeps mentioning them -- that they are constant, disruptive, and that OW is fearful to the point she can't be alone thus the need for them to always be together. This really bothers me -- I am not doing it. I truly believe she's framing me in order to get him to hate me. And it's working. They are always together. This is her way of dealing with the trust issue, I guess.

He used to not be like this. He was very independent -- probably TOO independent, in hindsight. But we trusted each other and it worked for us and our relationship. Now, OW has him by the ba!!s. He believes her. He protects her. He acts like the kids and I do not exist -- except to get THEIR money. And with their affairage, this will always be the case.

Her mentioning his parents in the text. Interesting since they are my biggest supports. FIL has been going to court with me and talking with my attorney. His parents have made it clear that OW will never be a part of their lives, and I believe them. I have shared the texts with in-laws. They know the kind of woman she is and what their son has become. They disinherited WH.

And our kids. WH has indicated he wants ZERO custody. They "suffer" because they do not have a Dad. He dropped off the planet and he's making it clear with his court order that once they turn 18 he will not give them a dime. My take is that OW's kids come first -- and WH's money helps support THEM... not our kids. WH mentioned once that "at least those kids respect him" -- likely because he's the third "daddy" they've had living there and if you're nice to "daddy" you get money/things. They've learned from their mom!

I turned this "Thank you" into a vent. Sorry. I just got to let it out at times.

Again -- thank you, SB. I read your thread on forgiveness. Today, I cannot forgive WH for bringing this beeeach into our lives, and I cannot forgive him for continuing to torture us. I'll pray, watch my back, maintain no contact, and keep a tight rein on what little funds I have left.

If you have a way to do this, then do it:


Copy your telephone bill details, and send them to your STBXH through his attorney if you have to. Tell him that this is only to prove you have not been making inordinate numbers of contacts with OW, and that perhaps they need to do a little investigation for her "protection". Note (LIE) that you were "concerned" for her when this allegation was made, as you knew you were not harassing her, and thought that maybe they did need to look further into this matter.


Just show him the details, and if you can, also show him text details.

Highlight any incoming or outgoing calls to/from OW.

Your STBXH will see the truth.


If everything you say is true, I am not concerned for your safety. I am concerned for STBX's.

HH,

This is a twisted, sick relationship and I do think someone is going to get hurt (physically) when it gets out of control (as it obviously will). PLEASE do not contact either one of them anymore. She doesn't know it yet, but you are the one that has won but you need to convince yourself of that first.

D!ck has been put in an emotional prison with security that makes Alcatraz look like the YMCA. He is not going to be able to make a move or ANY decision without being subject to her wrath. That will be a horrible way to live even if the sex is great. And even women like her run out of sexual tricks eventually.

Stay DARK. Think of yourself in the witness protection program. Really, your well being depends on it.

Wow.....HH, this woman is vindictive and mean. She is manipulating you to try to make you feel like what she HOPES for reality IS reality. She knows what people are thinking of HER - and she is projecting that to you.

imo, don't get caught up in any more text wars with this psycho. Save each text she sends you, and give it to your attorney. Even if you delete the text from your phone (the really vicious ones) there are still ways of retrieving the information, should it come down to that. She is being foolish by sending you texts, because it gives you solid evidence of what SHE is trying to do, and she has no evidence of what she claims you are doing.

I'm beginning to wonder if she's a witch. Seriously. Watch your back Holy and pray for a hedge of protection around your family.

The whole "circular prayer thing" does sound a bit...paganist. Definitely pray.