hi..<BR>i need some help or advice.... i'm 19 years old, and i'm married. my husband<BR>(call him "John") is 27. i first met 'John' on the internet over 2 years<BR>ago. we talked for a year before we discovered our feelings for each other.<BR>he lived in another country than me, but i moved to that country when i<BR>finished school. we didn't begin a relationship until we met face to face.<BR>everything flowed like water.. it was great, but then after being together<BR>for 6 months, things began to go downhill when we had money problems.<BR>agreeing to stay together, i moved back to my country so i could work, and<BR>he would come later, when he could. when i went back home, i met a guy who<BR>was my age. (call him "Bob") i spent some time with Bob, as friends. it was<BR>totally innocent, but then i began to think of him in another way. i didn't<BR>say anything to anyone. Bob told me his feelings for me.. i felt warm.. i<BR>felt wanted. i told Bob that i did have a boyfriend, and he was in another<BR>country. John at the time, would write me emails, everyday and call me at<BR>the weekends. i was still in love with John, but Bob opened up feelings, i<BR>haven't had in a long time. John eventually wasn't able to move to my<BR>country, and so I decided to go back to John's. When i told Bob, he was<BR>devastated.. he said that he wished i could stay in my town, and he would do<BR>everything to help me.. we just wanted to be with me... but John was my<BR>first lover, and i was really mad into him, i put my feelings for Bob aside<BR>and went back to John. When i saw John again after 3 months, it was great.<BR>We were engaged to be married. but after one week of being back with John,<BR>things went sour again.. he was always crabby, and our sex life was crap!<BR>during the entire time i've been with John, i've only been 'satisfied' 3<BR>times! But i felt like I had to stay with John, because i was in love with<BR>him - but really i was in love with the person he used to be.. he had<BR>changed, and was sour. i tried talking to him many times, and i still do,<BR>but all i get is a snappy reply.. i thought when we got married things would<BR>be good again.... 2.5 months later John and I got married. I was happy for a<BR>few weeks. i've stayed in contact with Bob through email, and he says his<BR>misses me very much. i tell him, that maybe he should find someone else, but<BR>he insists he can't, and i'm the only one. I've been married to John now for<BR>2 months, and it didn't get any better...we fight very often. i feel that<BR>John isn't meeting any of my needs. John says he loves me, but i don't feel<BR>he does. I don't want to be a divorced woman at 19! (my mom was divorced in<BR>my life...and didn't want the same thing for me) but i also feel more and<BR>more each day that i want to be with Bob. Last night I had a sexual dream<BR>about Bob.. which made me think more... and so here I am stuck in another<BR>country with a cold marriage, and I don't know what to do....i feel if i<BR>leave John, i'll let everybody down, coz everyone thinks we're madly in<BR>love...... when in fact we're not.... help me please!!
