Now_what,

I read the letter that you posted...sounds good. I just wish it had more specific threats in it! I have not gotten anything in the mail as of yet. We have had some issues with our mail person. They are doing some remodeling work in our front office and I don't know whats going on with the mail. (we haven't gotten any in almost a week) You should send it to his mother's home! That will ensure he gets it in a timely fashion. I want him to get it ASAP. Also, did I read correctly that you have told your WW about this website?

I have been following your thread without posting and trying to learn some things-

now_what: thanks for asking the question on hope versus expectation.

SickofLimbo: nicely done in your reply. Helped me a lot.

I think it is a neat dynamic that both you and Confused2010 are able to some to the same place for a plan of action and for healing.

LOG,
thanks for taking the time. It seems for me that I learn things better seeing how NOT to do things. HOPE that's you case too.

Hope vs. expectation...I think there is something inside me that processes this wrong. It's like if I don't keep telling myself, "no expectations", then by default my hope turns into an expectation. No telling what happens next.

Well, with this being a holiday weekend, I doubt that asking my lawyer to send another one out would get it there ASAP. I think we may have a better shot at calling the post office or standing outside your front office.

Yeah, I told WW there were alot websites that I was "learning" on. I had her read truehearts letter and I took her to a couple differant sites. I was drinking her kool-aid at the time. She knew that I was up to something on the cpu and later asked me about it. I told her that I was posting on some Dr. Phil marriage forum.

There is a specific threat: AoA...and non specific..."among other things". How do you think he will receive the letter?

And there is nothing wrong with that at all. I'm with you brother. Take it one day at a time.

I have no idea what to say, I just feel the need to write.

I got a call from Confused this morning. I find it's a trigger to talk or see her thread. It's like a take a few stwps back in my recovery or distancing myself from WW. I knew that I would have to get to this point, WW moving out and OM LB'ing, but it's difficult to handle expieriencing it from the OMGF point of view. I think that something new will happen soon in her relationship.

I know that I have alot going for me, but it just sucks right now. It's hard for me right now to comprehend what WW is expecting from OM, or what she sees in her near future. I know that I shouldn't go there but I'm there and it's hard to get away from that.

Well, I just got off the phone w/OM. The conversation went something like this.

OM: You F'ed w/ the wrong man. If you want me to F#ck with your wife, I'll F#ck with your wife. I've done my research on you too, I don't give a F#ck if you're in the military, I don't give a F#ck if you're a sergeant.....you don't have any proof...

I asked him if he called my lawyer, I gave him my proof. I said that all I want for him is to stay out of my family and break all contact w/my wife. I also let him know that I recorded the conversation, that's when he said that he didn't give a F#ck etc..

Well, he knows where I live. I'm here w/NW5 tonight and I'm sure he knows that, the doors are locked. I'm calling my lawyer tomorrow. I have no idea what to expect next from OM.

He doesn't like the pressure you are applying. Keep applying it. File the AOA.

I hear you Jim,

I think the general consensus is the OM are cowardly and don't have a backbone etc...How much should I put into his threats? Has anyone experienced a violent OM?

I'm sure there has been one before, but they usually are cowards. I would just expose this call to his GF AND family. Show him you aren't afraid of him and you will expose him to the consequences of his behavior every time he crosses you.

I'll have to rely on C2010 for the family part.

Since I have NW5 tonight, that means that WW may get a visit from OM tonight (WW moved 4 miles from my house, OM live 35 min away). Especially in light of the AoA letter, My gut is telling me that if something happens, it may be tonight. I hope I'm not being paranoid.

I called one of my buddies and he is coming over to stay with me tonight. I also think that C2010 may give me a heads up if something is to happen. Oh yeah, I have my 80lb pitbull too, not sure much help he'll be though as OM has probably given him a doggie treat before.

It's nice that you have friends that can do this. Be sure to thank him with a six pack or something!

Men who mess with another man's wife know that what they are doing is wrong. They have little reason to fight for the piece they are getting "on the side."

In my case, OM bests me by about six inches in height and twenty pounds in weight, not to mention he's 14 years younger.

Yet I've told people (who also know him) that if he ever wants to meet with me, I'll make sure I take what the doctors left behind (you have to read my thread to understand that comment).

He's been seen nowhere in the area since I outed him and my wife.

I was a bit worried last night as OM seemed pretty upset and I didn't want anything to happen with NW5 being here. I very seriously doubt that this guy would do anything. He's scared, and you're right Fred, he has little reason to fight.

So there has been no contact w/WW since she moved out until today. She texted me an hour ago.

WW:Thanks for forgetting to put the Wii games in MW5's bag!

I called my IM and asked her to call WW and apologize and ask tell WW that I could drop them off at daycare tomorrow. I also told IM to tell WW that if she needed to contact me to go through IM. My IM called back a few minutes later and said not to worry about the nintendo games, she went out and bought a couple already. WW also said that she was a little upset about me forgetting the games. IM said that WW reacted sarcastically when she was reminded to go through the IM for communication.

Seriously!! WW went out and bought a couple Wii games?! She must have dropped close to $100.00. It's not like NW5 can't go one night w/o the Nintendo!

I also think that the text coming one day after OM getting the AoA letter is no coincidence.

Not sure how I should digest the text. Is it good or bad sign that WW texted me, regardless if she was pissed.

Okay, well it is GOOD that you contacted your IM when sending a message to WW. The only problem is, you sent a message about an improper message. You see, when your WW sends you ANYTHING, DELETE IT IMMEDIATELY. You don't respond to it in anyway. It didn't even happen. IGNORE IGNORE IGNORE.

Also, you are no longer going to contact OM either now, right? Just make sure that you go DARK on this Plan B.

I didn't even think about NC w/OM for me. When he called yesterday I though it was C2010 and I was really surprised.

Ok, IGNORE..etc..I can do that. Should I still have contacted IM though about the contact?

Nope. You should have just said NOTHING. You IGNORE your WW when she sends anything to you that is NOT an emergency.

Also, your IM shouldn't have told you that she was sarcastic or crunchy when you passed on your message. These are the things you are supposed to be protected from. Your IM could have said, "No need to drop off the games(although, you shouldn't have sent a message about that anyways). I passed on the message about NC." That's IT.

Gotcha