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They're both in Army schools with very strict travel restrictions. He's got a wife watching him and their money. I seriously doubt they're able to see each other. I wouldn't doubt if they're still in contact though, since it seems like the OMW seems to believe their "Just friends" story, and apparently purposely fed me false information.

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If it isn't OM#1, then it is OM#2. I have also shared concerns about staying oversees. Sure, it keeps you from getting divorced now, but it pretty much keeps you from recovering as well. Is this what you want your marriage to be? I would not extend your stay unless you didn't want to save your marriage anymore, and you wanted to stay overseas.

I am concerned as well about contact. If there is no contact, why the other phone? Why is she still pushing the divorce so hard? Maybe because she's violating a direct order and doesn't want you to report her again?

Can you figure out your WW's new phone number? I'm sure any PI can do that for less than $50. You can then get into her account and see if/why your marriage is not getting any better. If she sees a text message claiming she changed passwords, just claim ignorance. Afterall, you don't even know her new phone number, right? Most of the time when I get a text from AT&T, I just delete it without looking at it because I assume they are trying to sell me something.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Originally Posted by Gerkaguards
They're both in Army schools with very strict travel restrictions. He's got a wife watching him and their money. I seriously doubt they're able to see each other. I wouldn't doubt if they're still in contact though, since it seems like the OMW seems to believe their "Just friends" story, and apparently purposely fed me false information.

If that phone number had been false information OMW had given you, your WW would have led w/ that first. Instead she said you "made up" the number. What she said after you pointed out that OMW had given it to you was just pure BS spin. If OMW really did give you a fake number, then WW knew nothing about it until you told her the number had come from OMW. Which shows OM are W are no longer in contact.

Either way, OMW wasn't trying to discredit you, she was trying to save her H's rear end. There is NO WAY she is going to let them continue their "friendship". And I seriously doubt OM would want to after exposure.

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She still has the other phone because... why not? She got the other phone around the beginning of April, not just to hide her affair communications but as part of separating our lives. She got new bank accounts, moved her car onto separate insurance. Unfriended me, and all of our mutual friends on facebook. According to her she's moved to keep me from finding her.

She's taken a lot of steps towards divorce. As independent as our lives were before, they're now totally independent.

Yeah, my WW said I made up that number. If it really is her number, I wonder if she told the investigators it was made up too. It seems like the investigation on her side of things wasn't taken seriously at all, I was never even contacted by the investigator. I guess I could just call the number and see if the voicemail is hers...

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My guess is that OMW gave you the wrong number by accident. Maybe it was off by one number. Or maybe it was one of those disposable phones that couldn't be tracked back to WW. So then WW could easily claim that you had made the number up, when the investigators asked her about it.




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No it's a legit AT&T phone number, I verified that. And it didn't have online billing set up yet, so it was probably hers. Like I said, I should just call it, or have someone call it to check it out. But then, I don't really care. If she doesn't want to give me her phone number or address, that's not my fault or my problem

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Ooops... Forgot to include the possibility that your WW was lying to you about that number.

DUH! MrRollieEyes

And yeah, I would call it.


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Hey Gurka - I actually got to go outside the wire today on a short "trip"! It was good to get out from behind my desk...

How long have you been over there? I wouldn't stay just to avoid her. I would like to think that your WW will eventually "turn around", but then again, she may not.

If she doesn't, then it won't matter how long you are deployed. Regardless of what she decides to do, you will know that you've done everything possible to try and save your M.

I think that regardless of what she "says" about you not going out to Ft. Huachuca to see her, that you might just have to do that. Go out there and confront her right in front of her entire OBC class. Do it in public so there's no chance for her to say that you "abused" her... talk to her camly and let her know that you will be waiting for her back at Ft. Polk if she wants to work on the M.

If she doesn't, then I'd hand her a copy of the signed divorce papers, tell her in front of her entire OBC class that you are divorcing her for adultery, then calmly walk away.

She will do one of two things, either your confrontation will snap her out of her self idulgent fantasy world, or she will continue to lie to herself for the rest of her life.

If she chooses the second option, I believe that you deserve better, and you will eventually realize that it was better to have found this fact out before you went any further with her.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Sounds a little extreme RIF. I'm not going out there uninvited. Doing what you suggest would have her BC on the phone with mine in about 5 minutes.

What do you read into the MIL's message?

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Hey Gurka,

I thought your MIL's note proved that she doesn't believe a word that you WW is telling her. It also sounds like she's not going to engage with you in trying to save the M, but she's not encouraging your WW to divorce you either.

I'd keep in touch with her, but I wouldn't expect any direct "help" or intervention from her.

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Quote
What do you read into the MIL's message?


A typical IL response all the way. She says she is unhappy but unwilling to stop her daughter from rolling around in the pig pen mud. She might get her sundress dirty if she gets too close.

All I got from my IL's of 25+ years was a tiny measure of personal (not moral) support to appease their own guilt.

I would not look too deep into it Gurka.


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Good morning Gurka!

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Hi Gurka

If you handle it without any LBs, DJs or other LBs ( other than you very presence of course!) I think RIFs idea about visiting WW has merit.

She would likely be very provocative of you though Gurka, she's LOVE a bad reaction from you to reinforce the skewed picture of you as a very bad man in her mind.

Think about it. A husband who wants to save his marriage might be well served by a face to face visit. It could hardly diminish your situation, could it ?

All blessings


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Gerka,

I don't think the confrontation would be good. Odds are that her classmates would doubt your word and come to her defense.

I think it's one thing to out the adultery to people who can put pressure on the affair, it's quite another to embarrass your wife in public. Might as well go up and paint a red A on her chest.

It will backfire to do this.

Now, if you go and calmly talk to her in a public place in a voice only you and her can hear, that's a different story. You eliminate any ability of her to claim you're crazy and you accomplish your goal.

If things don't turn around keep your chin up. You are not at fault in any of this.

Learn from the experience and look for emotionally strong women down the road IF things don't turn around. If she does turn around, then approach with extreme caution.


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Been out all day. Kabul has a new radio station and it's awesome.

No word from WW, I don't think she's back home yet though.

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What is the station's format?


Testosterone boys! Testosterone! It aint just for nose, ear and back hair anymore!
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Hey Gurka - Glad you had a safe trip today... I'm in Kuwait. Our S-1 didn't put me on a flight so I ended up going a day early on Space-A. I actually was able to move my R&R flight up a day so I'll get home one day earlier!

I'll check in with you to see how things are going!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Good morning. Just wanted to see how you're doing. Stay safe.


Jim

BS - 32 (me)
FWW - 33
Married 8/31/03
No kids (but 3 cats)
D-Days - 8/25/06 (EA), 11/3/06 (PA)
NC agreed to - 11/8/06
NC broken - 11/28/06, 12/16/06, 1/18/07, 1/26/07, 1/27/07
Status - In Recovery
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Good morning Gurka!

Hope you have a great Friday... Not much new down here, it's hot and getting hotter by the minute.

Stay safe and try not to worry about not hearing from your WW... she will contact you again!

Semper Fi,

RIF

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Slept from 1900 yesterday until 1000 today. Guess I was worn out from the week! Had a very long, vivid dream about sitting around our last apartment with WW, talking about reconciling, going to dinner, making plans, etc. The first time I've had a dream about her in a long long time.

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