I agree. Put your detective hat on, Anne, and see what happens. This is weird and perverse on their parts, of course. But your H has been doing some pretty weird/perverse things. Go and see what happens.

Yes, I am going. I don't see how I can get out of it. Of course, he might be hoping that I won't go because I'm so tired and sick all the time from being pregnant and need to rest a lot (trouble with dehydration was causing some contraction-like symptoms). I'm sure this is a way to reinforce that "we're just friends" routine.

It will be hard to look my best at almost 5 months pregnant but it might be a good idea to go and show her my two kids plus the one growing in my tummy (and wear my most pregnant looking outfit). Although I truly believe she is cold-hearted and won't care or she wouldn't be doing what she's doing in the first place. I do know that she invited him to bring my boys over to meet her dog in an email last week but I wasn't mentioned as part of the deal then. I am DYING to read the emails today though unless they talked about it on the phone in his office. The VAR is in the car. I might not be able to get it out tonight and won't be able to listen to it until tomorrow at the earliest.

I think Chrishner is right and that they are planning to "escalate the adultery". What better way than to get me comfortable with their relationship?

I'm going to go and hope this leads to something I can use. I don't know how much longer I can take this. I will try to look on the bright side and hope that this leads to the break I've been waiting so long for.

Okay, I may be slow but it makes sense now. OW/ButterFace is changing jobs. This means she will not only be living but also working 10 minutes away from where we live. WH tends to work from a local library near her new office a few times a month so it's my guess that this convenient new location of ButterFace will allow them to take things to a new level and see each other more. No wonder he wants me to meet her and get comfortable about this. I think he wants to be able to pop over to her place for "lunch" when he's working from the library. These two make me sick. At least this might get me that proof I need!

As always, thinks for listening. I sure can't wait to hear what SmilingWoman has to say about these recent developments!

Let me say what is also probably obvious: be prepared for the worst, too. If he wants to make nice and pull this stunt to gaslight you, be ready for any contrived opportunities for them to be alone. Waywards are crraaaazy, you can't put anything past them.

Think in advance about what you will do given a variety of scenarios.

I am confused? Have you exposed this A? I've tried reading threw your thread but I haven't finished yet, I would have exposed months ago! To EVERYONE!

I about all over my monitor. He is brazen and he is about to escalate this adulterous relationship with her. He makes me sick. I hope you get your proof soon so you can stop living this lie he is forcing you to live.

Of course you have to go. No way out of it of course. He wants you VERY comfortable and he wants to be able to say 'An affair?!!!! Riiight Anne...I introduced you to my affair partner. That makes TOTAL sense.' As he rolls his eyes and makes a reference to pregnancy hormones.

Be on your toes girl. They are a special kind of sick.

(((Anne)))

There is nothing concrete to expose. He is an opportunist cheater....Every few months or so when the spirit moves him and his work load is not too heavy. The proof she has could be spun by him and it would be. She wants more definitive proof.

So she already lives close by where you live? And she will now be working close by as well? Makes me wonder if he isn't seeing her more often than you know now....but the VAR would probably tell you that....

Get the proof ASAP then dump his A$$! Show him and his buddies who's the IDIOT NOW! MWHAHAHAHAHAA!!! (evil laugh)

....Along this line Anne, I was thinking last night....Your WH thinks he is VERY clever. And as far as Waywards go, he is. However, as with most people who think they are so smart they also think everyone else tends to be an idiot. Use this to your advantage Play up his belief that you are totally clueless about his true character. He will be SHOCKED when you present him with damning evidence. He will also be SHOCKED that you have been able to play this sick game for as long as you have. Even the evidence that seems weak now (not to ME, but he would laugh it off as a joke) will NOT seem weak even to him when presented with undeniable proof.

He thinks he is very smart. Just keep remembering that...those type of people eventually fall due to that very arrogant belief. Use it to your advantage.

I am 99% certain that he does not see her frequently at this point. However, her changing jobs and being closeby all the time is bound to change that. Especially now that the client work he was trying to get from her has actually begun. Although she is leaving the job so this will be her ex-client after another week. WH is talking about her getting him business from her new place of work so there is his excuse to remain in contact with her and take her to lunch when he works from the library. Blech!

From reading the emails I see that this meeting between OW and my kids was her idea. He took her up on it. I also saw that my name was not mentioned in the emails so, unless he spoke with her on the phone from his office, it looks as if she was expecting tonight to be her, him and my two kids. I wonder if she will be surprised to see me there. I wonder if he thought I wouldn't go.

Wish me luck tonight. Thankfully, I have an event at school so I have a good reason to dress nicer than normal without it looking obvious. I just hope this leads to the concrete proof I have been waiting so long for.

good luck and I'm so proud of you for being so strong.....remember you are doing this for those beautiful little children of yours.....
Right now he thinks he is smarter than you, but he will soon learn who the smartest one is.......
I have to say he has a lot of guts and the friend is an ***hole........
He deserves everything he is going to get and feel........
My hat is off to you for sticking up for yourself and your kids.....
Come here for support........

Thanks for the kind thoughts jessitaylor. I think he has underestimated me. He's still being extremely careful but if they escalate things, he might let his guard down - especially after I have met her and see that they are "just friends."

I really don't expect anything big to happen tonight or even in the next few days since she doesn't start her new job for a week. But they are setting something up so I will just be patient and wait for my opportunity. I've made it this far, I can stick it out until I get what I need.

The support I get here is one of the things that has kept me going. I'm so thankful I found the MB website!

What about the keylogger? Have you heard anything back from it?

No, I have contacted customer service from the company I used and am waiting to hear from them. I wonder if my MO got lost somewhere. It doesn't matter because he has not been bringing the computer home anyway so I haven't had oppportunity to install it anyway. Once I finally get the matter figured out with the company and get my access code, I will have to find a way to get it on his computer. He's always warning Dirtbag Friend about what he does on his computer so I may not get much but it's worth a try.

On a positive note, I purchased a noise cancellation microphone for the VAR and it works WONDERS on getting rid of the background noise you get when recording in a car! Now, I just need him to say something incriminating!!! He hasn't done that since the day he talked about the sick ultrasound picture joke which was almost two weeks ago. I wonder if he suspects I bugged his car? I hope not because it's my best shot at getting what I need.

Is there anyway that you can look up an IM sent 3 years ago? I just discovered an affair that had been going on for 5 years, I got into his e mails, but there are some missing info that was exchanged in an IM

teaser -- check out the spying thread.
If you can purchase a SIM card reader, it would provide you with a lenthy history of text messages. I also recommend starting your own thread.

Anne -- I'll be wishing you well tonight. Not easy to come face to face with the enemy! Best of luck to you! Keep that calm-strong-goddess-attitude!

Whoo hoo!!! I just heard from the keylogger software company and I have my access code and they are sending me the CD (which they recommend for installation on other computers). Now, I just need my opportunity. He hasn't been bringing it home lately but I will do it the first chance I get.

Lexxxy - Thanks! I know it won't be easy but I am very calm and focused today. This is not a good day to be falling apart and I know that God is giving me the strength and focus I need to get through tonight. I can fall apart tomorrow - and I'm sure I will. I don't expect much to happen tonight and maybe not even anytime soon. But I will be ready once something finally does break in this sordid situation.

I am sorry but I am new to this site so I will have to ask what you mean by starting my own thread and how do I do that? I am in what I refer to as crisis mode and not thinking clearly