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As for the boundaries, he gave me the pw for his e mail, however, I am not stupid, he could easily open up another account. He has given me a key to the personal mailbox that he has. Even tho I had not been on this site at that time I did have him write a no cotact letter although I would have preferred to agree to the content as I woukd have said it differently, all he said is "its over, I'm out of here" [censored] writes back and says " you don't have to leave me, I was never there" like what the f...k does that mean?
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Don't worry about what that means. Let's just take a day or two to snoop and discover if this A is DEAD. In the meantime, who are you going to expose to? Do you need help figuring that part out? Where can we help?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Moving was just a consideration, There was a couple on here that literally had to move because she had the same situation, it was a HUGE trigger for the wife to know that where ever she went in the house she new the OW was there as well. Sorry again that you are here, but like scotland said we can help 
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I am in such shock I don't know from one minute to the next what I want, sometimes I say that just from the spite of it, I will not let him loose to go be with her, and the next minute I hate him, but I think that maybe somewhere deep down there might be something else I am not sure what it is so I have resoveld to just take it one step at a time. Don't be sorry, I appreciate the input cause I have a very close friend who came down to be with me and offer support but I think that she is now angry with me cause she feels like I should have already kicked his [censored] to the curb.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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He claims that even if I put him out he does not want to be with her, well, yeah right
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Well like I said, her mother she has a sister that is super religious but she is not living where we are and I can't seem to find out where she is.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Are you willing to expose more? (that will make sure he wont do this again to you!)
Since this is overwhelming you, then you need to stop, calm down, read everything you can on this site. I know this is hard, but we can help you. Just read everything, and ask questions, one step at a time.
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Don't kick him out! I know this will be hard, you gotta try Plan A first! Plan A Carrot and Stick
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I am going to her father and her mother in law. I am getting the feeling that her husband wants to keep it quiet (probably out of embarrassment since it is not the first) he is mad at me for telling the daughter
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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The daughter I sent the mail to got married March 27th my WH was the MC at the wedding!
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Your friend thinks that you should just move on. That is the normal response from people out there. They say things like, "Once a cheater, always a cheater." That isn't always true. You can use MB and DrH's advice to have a WONDERFUL marriage. If you read my siggy line, you will see that I found out about my WH's affair(possibly up to a 3 year long affair) in November. I decided that I wanted to save my marriage. I found this site. I wish I would have found this site sooner. I did Plan A and now I am currently in Plan B. I am doing what is best for me and my marriage. Now, what are you going to do tonight and tomorrow? Let's take this one step at a time. Right now, you can expose and snoop. You can make the decisions on if you want to save this marriage or move on after that. 
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Also read this>>> >>>LINK<<<
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KEEPING IT QUIET!!??  RED FLAG! If you keep this quiet then it will only enable the A, A's only thrive on secrecy hence why EXPOSURE is the first step in recovering your M.
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Thanks Sapphire, I really don't think I will do that even though in the middle of my rages I have told him to leave immediately but he never does
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Tonight I am going to wash my hair my daughter is planning to give me a manicure and a pedicure, she has been my rock
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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She has told Wh exactly what she thinks of him, told him he has been living a double life and he needs to decide which life he wants to live and if he chooses the marriage he has to do a lot of work to get it done and that the bulk of the resposibility lies with him since he was the one who stupidly thought that the solution to his problems was to go and have an affair
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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Yea Sapphire, he told me he wanted to protect his children but I have now been informed by others that they think he is spineless and thats why she keeps doing it cause he keeps covering it up, this is at least her fourth
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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I gotta say, I LOVE YOUR DD.
Okay, so you have exposed to OWH, OWDD, your DD, OW parents? What about friends and other family? Your friends and family? Have you exposed to OW's friends? WH's family? This needs to be nuclear.
You do understand that there has to be NC for LIFE with WH and YOU in regards to OW and OWH, right?
BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Yea Sapphire, he told me he wanted to protect his children but I have now been informed by others that they think he is spineless and thats why she keeps doing it cause he keeps covering it up, this is at least her fourth I assume the one wanting to protect his children is the OWH. Exposing your children to an adulterer is not protecting them. It teaches them that they can do the same exact thing to their spouses when they are older. Do not worry about OWH, he seems to be working on his marriage the way he thinks it should be done, and how is that working out for him? 4 affairs later (and counting?) Since he is a dead spineless end, work on your plan for exposure, your plan A, and enjoy your time with DD.
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Sigh, yes I do. Scotland His family and I do not get along but yes I have told all his close friends. But i have a question relative to plan A- I feel like I just keep making this stuff so much more complicated. here goes, many people feel (and now I have to agree based on statements made by WH within the last couple of days) it appears that a major issue for WH is my success, even my daughter acknowledged this last night which I believe is quite astute of her since people have been saying it to me for quite some time and I did not see it, anyways, last night she said she has identified that as his issue with me but she does not think that he will be receptive to hearing it from either of us.
BS me 55yrs WH 59 yrs M 34 yrs 6/26/2010 DD 25 D Day May 5, 2010 NC 5/12/2010 Duration of affair 5 years, but other affairs discovered on D Day
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hello
by Woodham - 09/22/25 03:47 PM
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