Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 45 of 86 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 85 86
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
ok, I'm scared of this text....I guess that's what he was depending on. I guess I do worry about all of his threats. I can't believe he wants me to pay for this big time....what have I done?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
He is just trying to bully you into NOT doing anything that will ruin his affair.

BIG MEANY BULLY.

When a person i an an active affair, their brain turns to MUSH and they begin to act like an out of control teenager. Just think of him as a big bully teenager. IGNORE HIS RANTS.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
I clicked on the link for her thread, but it was only a page and a half. It stopped before it got started up good.

Has anyone ever had anything that hateful sent from you WS....so horrible.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
What you need to do is click on her name and go to view posts. Click on that. Then go to topics created. Go to the highest numbered pag and start from there. That is only the beginning. She has A LOT of threads and posts. I haven't read it all yet.

There ave been MANY who have had hateful things sent from a WS. That's why you are in Plan B, to PROTECT you. PLease go back to DARKNESS.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
What do I do if she really tries to sue me? I worry about what he will try to do to me. Are ya'll saying I shouldnt worry about this?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
What can she sue you for? You told the TRUTH. You CAN'T be sued for telling the TRUTH. I know I live in Canada, but I was pretty sure our legal system was pretty similar.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
You have ruined lives with your vicious and assumptive lies. I hope you pay for it big time. You have totally proven why I have planned on a divorce for years. I know you get relief in besmudging people with amnesty, but thats about to change. You have lied enough!

rotflmao "besmudging with amnesty" is my favorite part! rotflmao

I have a translation, folks!! click here - try not to laugh too hard! grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
Ok, I guess I am a worry wart....melody is figuring that out. This is my take, I don't have physical evidence that he had actual sex...so in their minds, they did not have an affair. I worry that I don't have enough evidence, even though he has lied through the whole thing. Anyone would believe it to be true; all of it points to infidelity.
I mean do most "friends" let a married man spend the night over their house multiple times? Interesting that she won't even show up when subpoened?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
J
Member
Offline
Member
J
Joined: Apr 2006
Posts: 1,149
HopeE-

Every WS goes ballistic and spews hateful stuff when their A is exposed. They say basically the same things. Here's a sampling:

"How can I ever trust you?" (I am not thinking about how stupid this sounds in light of my behavior because I'm just trying to cover my tookus right now)

"I can't believe how horrible you are!" (just ignore the fact that I am breaking my vows to you, our family and God).

"My OP is JUST a friend (that I left you for...but that is beside the point)"

"This is why I have been planning to D you for YEARS!!!!" (even though I never, ever told you or gave you any indication that I was not happy until I met this OP-who is JUST a friend).

"You just PROVED why I don't want to be with you!!!!" (I'm trying to come up with reasons to justify my behavior and this sounds good right now...)


Please don't worry about the whole "I hope she sues you" stuff. First of all, he said "I hope..." because he has no idea what he is talking about. The burden of proof would be on her to prove that you didn't do this based on what you thought was the truth AND that, somehow, this damaged her ability to earn a living.

BTW-Queenie is an IRL friend of mine and an MB neighbor (we live close enough to meet for lunch now and then). Her thread shows how she grew when she focused on her own recovery and stopped worrying about her then WH.

Hang in there!


johnstwin-

"I may not know what the future holds, but I know who holds my future." -Martin Luther

Remarried my FXH 25 years to the day of our first M. God is so good-and sometimes so unexpected!

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
I don't have physical evidence that he had actual sex...so in their minds, they did not have an affair. I worry that I don't have enough evidence, even though he has lied through the whole thing. Anyone would believe it to be true; all of it points to infidelity.

Do you think ANYONE ever has physical evidence of an affair? No, they don't! smile That is because they do it in secret. You have plenty enough evidence of an affair, more than most have!

Also, you already gave her a chance to clear her name in court. She didn't show, remember? grin If you were innocent, wouldn't you show up to ASSURE the poor suspecting wife of your innocence? I sure would! I wouldn't miss it for a million bucks...


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
hope, another thing you may not know: the more fury you elicit, the GREATER THE HIT!!

A WS does not even bother to get angry unless you have inflicted a major blow on the affair.

Also, please tell your father I said "Hi Mr X!" I neglected to greet him because I was laughing too hard about the text your H sent. grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
johnstwin,

He actually has told me over the years that he was unhappy with my weight and lack of appreciation toward him. We've both spouted about our unhappiness, but we were committed and he continually threatened me if I ever left. I'm so confused it's not even funny.

It's just really coming out how much he hates me....he told my oldest son that he has only stayed in this marriage for them and now he's getting out....nice huh?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 92,985
Likes: 1
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
It's just really coming out how much he hates me....he told my oldest son that he has only stayed in this marriage for them and now he's getting out....nice huh?

Hope, he did not "hate you." He needs to rewrite history and make you the DEMON so he can deflect attention from his own despicable behavior. Waywards always blame others for their crimes.

And if he has wanted this divorce all these years, then why is he so angry? He should be sending you a thank you card! Not mean text messages about besmudging him with amnesty. grin


"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt

Exposure 101


Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
You're too funny Melody...you made me LOL. I needed that this morning. Ok, I'm ready to face the world this morning. I don't know the future, but you all are right. I have to start preparing as if I'm single. I'm seeing possibilities of this and for my children. I've noticed that things are so much calmer around the house.

Please do pray for me today to keep my mind on heavenly things and not this text message. I certainly understand why plan B must be dark.


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
I know you get relief in besmudging people with amnesty,

I love it when people get all indignant and dignified and use big words that they obviously don't understand. What does this even mean???

Quote
but thats about to change.

I hope so. I wouldn't want to get any amnesty all over a wayward. They don't deserve it.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
M
Member
Offline
Member
M
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 15,818
Likes: 7
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
Ok, I guess I am a worry wart....melody is figuring that out. This is my take, I don't have physical evidence that he had actual sex...so in their minds, they did not have an affair.

Right; it's totally okay for married men to date other women.


If you are serious about saving your marriage, you can't get it all on this forum. You've got to listen to the Marriage Builders Radio show, every day. Install the app!

Married to my radiant trophy wife, Prisca, 19 years. Father of 8.
Attended Marriage Builders weekend in May 2010

If your wife is not on board with MB, some of my posts to other men might help you.
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
H
Member
OP Offline
Member
H
Joined: Apr 2010
Posts: 680
I know, I know....I've been a wreck today. I've been obsessing over the whole, "I hope she sues you". I'm trying to think of my kids, but tears just continue to fall. Do you think God approves of what I have done?

I question myself constantly. I'm falling apart today. I wish there was a way to put settings on my H's number so that all text messages go straight to my brother. I have an IPhone...any ideas?


BS: 41
WS: 52
Marriage 20 years on 6/9/10
Dday on 4/27/10
Husband moved out 5/12/10
Plan B....5/21/10
DD 15
DS 11
DS 10
DS 7
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
S
Member
Offline
Member
S
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 1,879
Aww...hope don't fret about her trying to SUE you she has NOTHING!! You have the evidence to prove her wrong, she is just threatening you, don't let that get to you, you are a strong person!

Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
K
Member
Offline
Member
K
Joined: Apr 2001
Posts: 4,083
Call your phone service or go to a kiosk and talk with a sales rep and make them show you how to program call forwarding for specific #s.

Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
W
Member
Offline
Member
W
Joined: Feb 2010
Posts: 533
One
Originally Posted by hope_eternal
Do you think God approves of what I have done?

I question myself constantly. I'm falling apart today. I wish there was a way to put settings on my H's number so that all text messages go straight to my brother. I have an IPhone...any ideas?

Do you think God approves of what she has done? It might be hard but reassure yourself that what you did is nothing compared to what they did. You are strong, you have proof, and there is a lot more emotional turmoil that you are going through than anything the OW could try to tell a judge.

If anything you and your family have been abused by this intruding OW, and you have every right to do what you did. This just proves that she is scum trying to take advantage of the hurt.

Page 45 of 86 1 2 43 44 45 46 47 85 86

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 221 guests, and 58 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
Gastelumattorney, lucasmiller, Demonolatry, Jose E. Martin, Frank Pro
71,895 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Really Struggling
by BrainHurts - 11/15/24 03:48 PM
20 appointments and $1000’s later…
by IrishGreen - 10/30/24 06:20 PM
Happening again
by jah - 10/29/24 10:00 AM
I grounded my wife - am I proceeding correctly?
by Mature - 10/27/24 02:05 PM
Children
by BrainHurts - 10/19/24 03:02 PM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,615
Posts2,323,460
Members71,895
Most Online3,185
Jan 27th, 2020
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2024, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 7.7.5