I just wanted to tell you something. You can be the best Dad you can possibly be to your children. But you can never be a mom.

Your kids can make it without a mom. I know this may come as a shock.

If you are facing the possibility of your children's Mom not coming home to them, please don't destroy yourself trying to make up for that to them. You can't.

What you CAN do is have the best recovery possible for yourself so that you can be the best Dad possible for your kids. Your kids are going to need that, no matter what happens.

You can also maximize the chances of Mom coming home, safe and sound, normal again, purged from the alien that consumed your children's mother. You can do that by following the plans here. You will notice that those plans at some stages involve YOU taking care of YOU by getting away from HER so that she can stop destroying YOU. That means avoiding HER before she becomes (or because she already has become) a TRIGGER that is a real problem for you. Obviously telling your kids a bunch of LIES about how great their mother is works counter to that part of the plan. It is obviously detrimental to you, which means that now that your kids are out a mother, you are damaging their father as well. Guess what - it's not healthy for your kids, either.

I know you want what's best for your kids. What's best is that their family remains intact, even if one parent leaves: you stay safe and sane and stable, you keep your kids, you keep your house (all if possible, of course, and sadly it isn't, always). You're not the one who wants to leave; you're not the one out there being a horrible person; as far as possible, YOU shouldn't bear those costs. What's best for your kids is that DAD still be there for them, because, I'm sorry, Mom is out to lunch (hopefully just for today, not forever).

Please don't destroy yourself by trying to "help" your kids with what's "best" for them by building them a FAKE reason to admire and have a relationship with their wayward mother. That's her job to build, if she wants to.

P.S.: Moms, this works the other way, too. In fact, Dr. Harley advises that you stop damaging your health and sanity over your wayward husband a lot quicker than he advises a faithful husband to stop.

markos, well said. The truth indeed makes us free. There are no ifs, and, or buts about it. Your kids whether toddler are grown deserve this