Welcome to the
Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum

This is a community where people come in search of marriage related support, answers, or encouragement. Also, information about the Marriage Builders principles can be found in the books available for sale in the Marriage Builders® Bookstore.
If you would like to join our guidance forum, please read the Announcement Forum for instructions, rules, & guidelines.
The members of this community are peers and not professionals. Professional coaching is available by clicking on the link titled Coaching Center at the top of this page.
We trust that you will find the Marriage Builders® Discussion Forum to be a helpful resource for you. We look forward to your participation.
Once you have reviewed all the FAQ, tech support and announcement information, if you still have problems that are not addressed, please e-mail the administrators at mbrestored@gmail.com
Previous Thread
Next Thread
Print Thread
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3
#2384117 06/02/10 08:05 PM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
I'll try this again....

I touched on this in my own thread but I didn't get any responses.

Anyone chime in, please. I'm curious as to how many of you decided to go on meds to help get you through this. How did it work for you? How long were you/have you been on it? I know it's personal but I guess not much more personal than sharing intimate details of your marriage.

There may be people reading that could be struggling with the idea of taking something. ( especially if it is their first time) I think it could be helpful to see that it is not a sign of weakness, but rather another tool to help get you through.
I have been on my med since jan. 18th. It has definitely helped but I am wondering how long I will have to be on it, so hearing some of your experiences would be appreciated.

Thanks in advance!

Last edited by Carka; 06/02/10 08:09 PM.

Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384120 06/02/10 08:08 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
I have been on meds since a little after Dday...but I had undiagnosed clinical depression...so I dont know if I can help with the how long aspect...but, they were a life saver for me.


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 8,240
I came VERY CLOSE to going BATTY in Plan A. I told my friends a couple of times that I thought I NEEDED meds. I think if it went on for even a few more DAYS, my friends would have driven me to the doctor's and MADE me get some.

If/when my WH came home, I would DEFINITELY need them.


BW(Me)aka Scotty:37
DSx2: 10,12
DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09
Plan B Dec18/09
Personal R in works
Scotty's THING laugh
Newly Betrayed click here


Praying for walls and doors. Thanx MM

“Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.”
? Maya Angelou

PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION

THANK YOU
Scotland #2384126 06/02/10 08:18 PM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
dance2 The Med Thread..... sorry, I just love that title


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Aug 2006
Posts: 3,490
I've been on Wellbutrin for years due to a pituitary tumor...most of us with them are on some sort of AD; it was an extremely low dose.

After d-day #2 I had it upped to the maximum dose and it helped me tremendously. I'm now back down to a very low maintenance dose.


Me,BW - 42; FWH-46
4 kids
D-Day #s1 and 2~May 2006
D-Day #3~Feb.27, 2007 (we'd been in a FR)
Plan B~ March 3 ~ April 6, 2007

In Recovery and things are improving every day. MB rocks. smile
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 212
M
Member
Member
M Offline
Joined: Oct 2009
Posts: 212
After D-Day I knew I needed ADs, so when I went to see my doctor, I had to beg her to let me take them. She was very resistant, probably because I was healthy so far, and wanted to know why I was asking for ADs. I said "marital problems", but she wasn't satisfied with that and was probing to see if I was being abused. When I broke down, she immediately gave me samples and wrote me up a script. I got Lexapro, 10 mg a day, and it started working almost immediately. It worked great for me, but after a couple of months I stopped because I felt as if I really didn't need them (and I was beginning to forget to take them anyhow). Also, it wasn't helping us out in the SF department, I was so desensitized.


Me, BS, 35 - H, FWS, 38
Married 15 years, 4.5 years into Recovery
EA/PA 7/09-9/09
DDay 9/5/09, started Plan A
Exposed 9/13/09, started preparing for Plan B
H finally confessed and agreed to NC 9/27/09, never went to Plan B
Still a MB rookie, but striving to learn more and put it into practice every day... w/ FWH along for the ride
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
Thanks! I was just thinking what I could name another thread in order to get more response. Like "What do I gotta do, show my boobs?" or "My husband cheated on me with my grandmother's lesbian lover"

Desperate times....:)


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384359 06/03/10 09:19 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
It's fluoxitine (sp?) for me. Anyone else take that one? How does it work for you?



Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384372 06/03/10 09:30 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
Thats Prozac....I have never taken that one..


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
It works ok, but when I first started taking it it made my anxiety worse for the first week or so. Also, I'm tired a lot in the evenings. But I guess I'm one of those people that when really depressed I just want to sleep. Immediately after dday I would be exhausted eary in the evening. Sometimes I would be upstairs under a blanket before 6pm!

That, thankfully is a lot better.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384383 06/03/10 09:47 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
I get tired too....For me the meds made me more tired at first, then that mostly went away....My doctor gave me Wellbutrin to give me more energy to offset the tiredness...did you tell your doctor that?....sometimes they can mix stuff or change your dose...


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
G
Member
Member
G Offline
Joined: Jan 2009
Posts: 372
Awakening to the horror of what I had done and been after D-Day and confronting the reality of the carnage I left in my wake, I was put on low dose Remeron during my three day stay in the hospital. Knowing that one year was kind of a break point for meds, beyond which getting off of them was less and less likely, I quit them after one year. That was about six months ago. Since then, I have progressivly become less and less able to handle the down times of my BS, becoming more and more emotionally upset at each trigger, with more self-loathing and tearfulness. Finally, during a particularly bad time for my BS in the last few weeks, I realized that I was becoming incapable of giving her the support she needed to recover and was becoming truly clinically depressed. So, I re-started these threee days ago and am just now starting to get used to them again. They seem to be helping already. As a physician, I am beginning to believe that clinical depression creeps up on a person, and that it is not at all good to allow this to happen, particularly if you are trying to recover (or in my case, actually build for the first time) a real marriage.


FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
GreenMile #2384391 06/03/10 10:03 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
I've since upped my dose. So I think I'm getting closer to my theraputic number. I did tell my doc about the tiredness but since it started before the med and it does seem to be getting better...I'm ok with it.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
GreenMile #2384394 06/03/10 10:06 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 306
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 306
Over the years I have been on several types of SSRIs and a tri-cyclic AD for anxiety.

After I found out about my WH's A, I scheduled a STD panel with my OBGYN. At that time she prescribed Zoloft for me. I started it that weekend, and had to immediately come off of it because I got dramatically worse on it and was afraid I would have suicidal tendencies with it.

After re-consulting with my OBGYN I started taking a B-50 vitamin everyday, and up until last week that helped a lot. Things have seemed alot harder for me recently, so I talked to my Primary doctor last week and express that my depression was so deep at the moment that I was not is a stable place. I knew there was no way for me to work on our M when I could not allow any feelings other than anger and pain.

So she called in a script for Sarafem (Prozac for PPMD) and I started taking that this past Saturday. It has made a world of difference already. Every one around me has commented that I appear more relaxed and chipper. I have even had a few playful feeling.

Prozac is the one drug I have always been leery of, but right now it feels like a godsend.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
Carka #2384398 06/03/10 10:09 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
Green-Thankyou for sharing. My h had been experiencing a mild depression, I think. It makes sense though. He really had to hold everything together for a while and now that I'm feeling a little stronger it's like he has been able to start reeling from all that's happened. He is doing good though, but I can somewhat relate to the pain he must be going through being the cause of someone elses pain.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384452 06/03/10 10:47 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
Eluna- I'm curious about the b vitamins. I frequently hear they are supposed to help with depression.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384463 06/03/10 10:54 AM
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 306
E
Member
Member
E Offline
Joined: May 2010
Posts: 306
Carka,

Supposedly B6 will help depression and sometimes B12. I have also been reading up on Bh or insitol (I think that is the spelling) and found some evidence that is can be effective in both depression and OCD.

However after speaking with my MIL who is way into vitamins, I decided to go with the B-50 since most all of the B vitamins are in the supplement and they tend to work best when taken together.

I will say that I know it has help me some because for the first time in my life I now have natural fingernails. I have always bitten them, and after being on the b-50 for a few weeks, I all of a sudden noticed that I was growing nails. Now I have pretty much stopped biting.


Me - BS
Him - WS
Discovery 3/26/10
NC letter mailed 5/27/10
NC letter recieved 5/29/10
My Thread

Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
ElunaInNC #2384477 06/03/10 11:05 AM
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
Interesting.. I'm also curious about the omega oils. I'll have to look into it more. I currently have a hard time remembering to take my multi-vitamin. I think I would forget my butt if it wasn't attached.


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Carka #2384479 06/03/10 11:06 AM
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
S
Member
Member
S Offline
Joined: Nov 2008
Posts: 2,617
I wish I could forget my butt. smile


BW me-41
WH -39
DS - 9
married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered
DDay aug 2007
found MB dec 2007
Moved out april 2008
still seeing OW
Plan B

Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. smile
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
C
Member
Member
C Offline
Joined: Jan 2010
Posts: 158
Originally Posted by stillhere8126
I wish I could forget my butt. smile

LOL!


Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
Page 1 of 3 1 2 3

Link Copied to Clipboard
Forum Search
Who's Online Now
0 members (), 551 guests, and 86 robots.
Key: Admin, Global Mod, Mod
Newest Members
litchming, scrushe, Carolina Wilson, Lokire, vivian alva
72,031 Registered Users
Latest Posts
Three Times A Charm
by Vallation - 07/24/25 11:54 PM
How important is it to get the whole story?
by still seeking - 07/24/25 01:29 AM
Annulment reconsideration help
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:05 PM
Help: I Don't Like Being Around My Wife
by abrrba - 07/21/25 03:01 PM
Following Ex-Wifes Nursing Schedule?
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:21 AM
My wife wants a separation
by Roger Beach - 07/16/25 04:20 AM
Forum Statistics
Forums67
Topics133,625
Posts2,323,524
Members72,031
Most Online6,102
Jul 3rd, 2025
Building Marriages That Last A Lifetime
Copyright © 2025, Marriage Builders, Inc. All Rights Reserved.
Site Navigation
Powered by UBB.threads™ PHP Forum Software 8.0.0