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"Thanks! I was just thinking what I could name another thread in order to get more response. Like "What do I gotta do, show my boobs?" or "My husband cheated on me with my grandmother's lesbian lover""
The above statement made me laugh a lot and then kind of growl...because there's some truth to it.
ANYWAY...I had my A during a manic episode (NOT an excuse, just a point of reference), so obviously medication is a MUST for me. I was only on something mild until after D-Day, when things converged and I decided to try suicide. Getting on the right meds was crucial for our recovery. DH also took Wellbutrin for awhile, my A toppled his world. He has been off meds for a good while. I will never go off mine....because I care too much about my family to risk it.
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![[Linked Image from pic4ever.com]](http://www.pic4ever.com/images/mayi.gif) Hi Luri...
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy. 
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I know I don't post much...but I was wondering about htis too...I felt I needed to go on an anti-depressant a couple of months into this process, then after speaking wiht both the therapist and my physician, we settled on an anti-anxiety med instead...buspar, it has done wonders for me! I understand that soemtimes an anti-anxiety med alone doesn't work for everyone, and they are typically designed to work in conjunction with an AD...but soemtimes they can help...
My mind was so busy with thoughts of hte affair and 'everything else' that I literally couldn't think...it was a constant swirling of thoughts and emotions...my mind has settled down now and I can think more clearly and focus on things like work...
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That's just it. Meds don't cure any of it but it turns heat down enough to try and focus on the steps needed to get better.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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To me they were a miracle....Its weird how the brain works.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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That's what I was hoping they would be for me but it's been a slow progression. I'll take it though!
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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When you get the right dose or the right combo you will know, you will definitely know.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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I went on Lexapro just before dday for A #2. It helped me control my anger and I was able to function at work and at home. It took about two weeks for it to fully kick in and if I had not read about the potential side effects I would have been scared during the first two weeks. I had a sensation of all of my faults being magnified and some suicidal thoughts. KNOWING it was the altering of my brain chemicals kept my from doing anything crazy. Just a note that Lexapro caused my eyelashes to fall out and my hair to thin. I was on it for two years.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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I had taken both Lexapro and Effexor years ago, and had a horrible time with them. I was completely apathetic and numb.
Things were so bad for me these past few weeks, I was almost hoping they would put me back on one of them just for the numbness. But now I am glad they did not. I am actually feeling ok and can think clearly. Plus it looks like this one is not messing with my libido which is a good thing.
Me - BS Him - WS Discovery 3/26/10 NC letter mailed 5/27/10 NC letter recieved 5/29/10 My Thread Recovery may not be an option. Seriously looking a plan B/D
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Yeah, my hair has thinned a little....but so far I still got my eyelashes! Oh yeah, the libido thing....I have none now with the meds...but I have no H either...So I guess its a win win for me... 
Last edited by stillhere8126; 06/03/10 12:42 PM.
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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When you get the right dose or the right combo you will know, you will definitely know. Yes, as I have upped my dosage a little I've felt a difference.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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I went on Lexapro just before dday for A #2. It helped me control my anger and I was able to function at work and at home. It took about two weeks for it to fully kick in and if I had not read about the potential side effects I would have been scared during the first two weeks. I had a sensation of all of my faults being magnified and some suicidal thoughts. KNOWING it was the altering of my brain chemicals kept my from doing anything crazy. Just a note that Lexapro caused my eyelashes to fall out and my hair to thin. I was on it for two years. Oh no, did that subside and get better after you went off?
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Green-Thankyou for sharing. My h had been experiencing a mild depression, I think. It makes sense though. He really had to hold everything together for a while and now that I'm feeling a little stronger it's like he has been able to start reeling from all that's happened. He is doing good though, but I can somewhat relate to the pain he must be going through being the cause of someone elses pain. You are welcome, Carka. You need to be able to express your pain and anger without him coming apart at the seams, and you need to be able to do that for a long time without worrying about HIS state of mind. If he is depressed, starting meds early is apparently the most effective way to avoid having to be on them longer-term. He needs to go on the internet and read the symptoms, some of which are not so obvious, like confusion driving in traffic, non-specific anxiety, forgetfulness, inability to make decisions. For a while, I thought I was getting Alzheimers. He needs to be able to withstand the onslaught without turning to jelly.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
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still- I'm sorry hun! Hang in there.
I think my libido has droppped off, which is pretty typical so I wasn't surprised.
I think the side effect I was most concerned with was weight gain. I've gained a few but that could just be because I'm getting better, you know?
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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Green- H just seemed to be tired a lot and easily annoyed and frustrated at work. He says he is feeling better. But I think he felt relieved when I brought up to him that I can imagine why he is tired and possibly depressed. He has been so stong. I told him it's ok if he needs to lean on me a little...that we could lean on eachother.
Me: BW
DH: Had a 2yr. affair with my brother's wife.
D Day 11-10-09
Working hard on recovery!
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still- I'm sorry hun! Hang in there.
I think my libido has droppped off, which is pretty typical so I wasn't surprised.
I think the side effect I was most concerned with was weight gain. I've gained a few but that could just be because I'm getting better, you know? For me I didnt gain weight....
BW me-41 WH -39 DS - 9 married 12 Yrs together(?) 18 yrs when A discovered DDay aug 2007 found MB dec 2007 Moved out april 2008 still seeing OW Plan B Okay I fixed the ages, it was looking screwy.
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The eyelashes stopped falling out but are not as thick as before and my hair is much better as well. I also gained weight which I was told was not a side effect of Lexapro. I eventually weaned myself off by following a schedule a neurologist has recommended to someone else. After 2 years I hated the meds. I probably need something now but don't want to go there again. I eat sensibly and exercise every day which helps a lot.
Faith
me: FWW/BS 52 H: FWH/BS 49
DS 30
DD 21
DS 15
OCDS 8
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Shortly after D-day I started taking SAM-e and it has worked great for me.
I have been on RX antidepressants in the past and I can say SAM-e is definitely comparable in effectiveness to treating my depression, yet without the cost and most importantly, without the side effects!
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Green- H just seemed to be tired a lot and easily annoyed and frustrated at work. He says he is feeling better. But I think he felt relieved when I brought up to him that I can imagine why he is tired and possibly depressed. He has been so stong. I told him it's ok if he needs to lean on me a little...that we could lean on eachother. You sound like a potential success story in the making, Carka. That is great news.
FWH, age 63. 24 years of narcissistic behavior, infidelity, and emotional abandonment of my BS, age 57, DancesWithGoats (DWG). D-day two years ago, leading to emotional breakdown. Been working MB program and toward spiritual transformation and personal growth since then, with some slow but real progress. DWG still with no trust, but with grief starting to subside a bit.
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Im currently on Pristiq 100 mg. Ive been on that or zoloft for about 2 and a half years.
I started ADs to help with erectile dysfunction. I thought that my not being able to hold off longer (premature Ejaculation) was why my wife wasn't enjoying SF.
Only now I realize that she was even then slipping into and EA (which went to a PA later) with the OM. That was much more likely the reason why she wasnt happy.
When I did my STD panel I had my dosage upped to 100 mg for pristiq. I just needed some help with the highs and lows.
Is it helping? I dont know. I think it does though and I cant come off it without significant side effects.
It DOES seem to cut down the highs and lows though. So it seems like its less of a roller coaster.
(ME) BS - 33YO (HER) WW - 32YO Married 7 years DD5 D-Day - 5/1/10 (PA) Exposure 5/7/10 Plan A 5/7/10 - Plan B or Recovery on 7-1-10 Its in her court ATM My thread
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