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I wanted to get some advice here first before I advise my friend.
She saw a comment on her husbands facebook page and a girl she does not know said "remember.... the one you love loves you too"
then my friend posts underneath it "yeah your wife and daughter does!" Then this girl sends her a message saying she needs to be understanding and that he's going through a rough time. and that she needs to show him she loves him.
This girl lives close to them and is in her 20's. My friends husband is in his 40's.
My friend wants to jump down her husbands throat, I told her not to do anything rash just yet. An advice I can give her. I have told her about this site but she won't come here, not yet anyway.
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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A cool head is much better than a hot heart.
I think it's "snooping time."
Your friend should stay silent, but start doing some serious poking around.
Preach the Gospel every day. When necessary, use words.
St. Francis of Assissi
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Time to expose to this EA to this girl's parents.
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I agree. Cool head will prevail and your friend should start snooping like crazy. Once she has evidence, then is the time to unleash the shock and awe of exposure...
What does your friend know?
BS: Me, 43
FWH: 50
EA/PA with My Friend Jan-Apr 06
DDay: 4/29/06
NC: email 5/1/06
Recovering
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I don't know why I didn't remember that, but it's what I told her to do! Thanks!
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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My friend doesn't know much. She's had a facebook message from this girl telling her she needs to love her husband and show him she cares about him. I think my friends husband has been throwing pity parties for himself and this girl was invited.
I told my friend to snoop and snoop some more. She'll be able to when her husband goes to work tonight.
my friend sent this girl a message, but I don't know what she said, but she is waiting for one back.
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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I told my friend to snoop and snoop some more. She'll be able to when her husband goes to work tonight.
my friend sent this girl a message, but I don't know what she said, but she is waiting for one back. Tell her to stop showing her hand and go download and install eblaster on his computer. She needs to BE QUIET until she has the goods. [spectorpro.com]
"It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena.." Theodore Roosevelt Exposure 101
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BW(Me)aka Scotty:37 DSx2: 10,12 DDAY2(PA)Nov27/09 Plan B Dec18/09 Personal R in works Scotty's THING  Newly Betrayed click herePraying for walls and doors. Thanx MM “Surviving is important. Thriving is elegant.” ? Maya Angelou PROGRESS NOT PERFECTION THANK YOU
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Tell her to stop showing her hand and go download and install eblaster on his computer. She needs to BE QUIET until she has the goods. [spectorpro.com] Great advice! Oh how I wish I had done this when I found a very similar FB message from OW to my H. Instead I confronted him....and within two days he was gone, taking the computer and all other traces of evidence with him.
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Well, she went on his fb and found all kinds of messages between the OW and her husband. When she confronted him she told me she called him everything but a white boy. He confessed to one physical encounter with the OW, but who knows. She told me he wanted to work things out. But, she took some thing and their little girl and went to her moms house. Does she need to go back to her house and make him leave or what should be her next move once she figures out if she wants to try and work it out. She told me she doesn't know what to do and I kind of think she's in some sort of shock and shouldn't be making any decisions right now.
Trying to get her to come her.
Last edited by wife_02; 06/07/10 11:49 AM. Reason: adding one last line.
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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This is what she needs to do.
1. Move back home, HE was the one that had the A not her, so why should she leave? Does she want to fix this marriage or is she done?
2. If so then she needs to EXPOSE EXPOSE EXPOSE this A to EVERYONE!! Her family, his family, there friends, FB friends, the OWH and all her FRIENDS!! Kill this A immediately!
3. Then she needs to be in Plan A! Love her husband, meet his needs, care for him, don't talk about the relationship, the A, nothing, but she still needs to snoop! Just in case he is still seeing the OW, and if he is? Then that's where the separation comes in, and not HER move out HE needs to move out, and have NO contact with his wife!
But in the mean time just have her move back home and do an nuclear exposure!! To everyone! That is the next step.
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Also she needs to print out all those conversations, all the evidence she has of the A, hide them, keep them safe, and keep adding to the "A" file. So when worst comes to worst at least she has the evidence to back her up.
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She needs to get back home.
then get her butt here.
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OK, she is back home now...and she wants to work on the marriage. I am trying to get them both here. He said he'll look at the website tomorrow and in the mean time I'm giving advice from the site, but I can't make them take it.
So much peeling...where am I under all this peeling? Yoo-hoo, are you in there...nothing yet.
Me FWW 30
BH 37
DD 2006
Daughter 7
Son 2
Trying to make amends for the huge mess I made.(If you knew Hubby you'd know what I mean by try)
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You are a great friend to try to get them here and to get them help!
I hope you help her expose, and take her to get STD tested too!
Me: BW, 46
Him: WH, 48
EA/PA with co-worker 8-08 to 7-09
D-day 7-29
NC 8-17
OW and WH both fired from jobs
OW lost court case for restraining order- judge called her a "practiced deciever" who manufactured evidence!!
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She needs to tell EVERYONE about this filth. Get copies of all the messages. Its the only way to make sure the A is over.
Plan D June 08
Me FBS 36
W 38
Married 13/1/09
The best is yet to come, with or without your WS
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