Read this thread on EP's and then go back and honestly evaluate where you are in this process.
A) Blocking all communication with Affair Partners (AP�s)
� Done, this was never an issue for me.B) Accounting for all of your time
� I am as transparent as possible. I call JK often. If she calls me and I cannot pick up for some reason I text her to let her know what�s going on.C) Accounting for all money
� JK now handles the money.D) Spending your leisure time with your wife.
� I do this. The only exception is an old man basketball league that I participate in during the winter. JK has never attended but both of our children have come to the gym with me. If it were entirely up to me we would spend even more time together than what we do now.Recently I had a change to change jobs and work from home along side of JK instead of 40 or so miles away and I jumped at the chance (today is my last day at my current job.)A) Change cell phone number and give password & account access to your spouse.
My cell phone number was changed and JK handles everything. B) Change email account.
My email accounts are open to JKs inspection at any time.C) Eliminate all social networking accounts (i.e., Face book, Classmates, My Space, etc.)
I am only on LinkedIn for business purposes.D) Take a polygraph.
Had one scheduled, JK nixed it. I still want to do it though to clear up any lingering suspicions and give JK peace of mind.E) Make a copy of my vehicle keys and any other keys my spouse does not have and give to them (i.e., safe deposit boxes, business keys, storage cabinets/lockers, etc.)
I think she has a key to my car. I don�t keep anything else locked.F) List out passwords for all business and personal computer logins, and any other passwords my spouse does not have access to.
Good idea, I'll do that.G) Give my spouse access to any banking/financial accounts, business and personal.
She has that.H) Install software that tracks all internet use, giving my spouse administrative access.
I�ll discuss this with JK to see if this is something she wants.I) Install a webcam/security cameras for while at work that my spouse can access.
Moot point now, see above.J) I will contact an attorney that will work on my spouse�s behalf and write a post-nuptial agreement.
I did and the attorney refused to do it. He said that he would be exposing himself to malpractice charges if he did. Has anyone else had a different experience?K) Sell the house/purchase a new one.
Can�t right now, I certainly would if we could.L) Sell any vehicle AP was in and replace them.
Done.This is awesome tst.A) I will protect my spouse and their feelings above all else.
B) I will not participate in any one-on-one meetings with anyone of the opposite sex.
C) I will not discuss my personal marriage issues with anyone of the opposite sex.
D) I will not attend clubs, strip joints, or any such establishment
E) I agree to use POJA as a basis for all decisions.
F) I will be open and honest with my spouse at all times about the past and present.
G) I will provide my spouse a daily schedule of all appointments and contact information.
H) If I need to make an adjustment to my schedule, I will notify my spouse of the change immediately.
I) I will make my spouse�s phone calls my highest priority by answering them or returning them immediately.
J) I will avoid all chat rooms, porn, member sites, etc.
K) I will trade phones with my spouse at any time they request, NO questions asked.
L) I will leave my phone accessible to my spouse at night/or anytime I�m home.
M) I will commit to at least 15 hours of undivided attention with my spouse to meet each other�s ENs every week (time working together does not count toward those 15 hours).
N) If AP finds a way to make contact, I will immediately end the contact and notify my spouse about it immediately after.
O) I will install a keylogger, GPS, or any other tracking system my spouse may request.
P) Anytime I have the thought, �I don�t want my spouse to know about��.�, I will call my spouse immediately and tell them my thoughts.
Q) Anything else my spouse wants as a boundary.
I clearly failed to keep JK safe as specified in A (and I'm working on that) but the rest of these things are really no problem for me at all.
