thats cute pep

Well, since you bumped it, I will do a little update. Got a response back from My SIL yesterday. Can tell it was WELL thought out(/sarcasm). All it was was personal attacks on me and telling me that she supports me and Bampot. How can you do that, when we both want different things right now? Whatever. Also, it was all MEMEMEMEMEMEMEME. Like BIL used to say. She suffers from PPM syndrome. POOR POOR MEEEEEEEEEEEE. It was filled with the fact that Bampot and I didn't support her when she was having an affair. I absolutely WAS supporting her, by trying to help her save her marriage. I was NOT supporting her because I didn't believe in her affair and I didn't accept her affair partner. It was ALL personal attacks about things I did in the past that hurt her. BLAH BLAH BLAH.

Then, last night, my aunt from California was visiting. We were at my sister's house. Let's just say that there was a lot of fog talk from my mom and a lot of entitlement and "just do things that make you happy." My brother even said, "If Bampot wasn't happy with you he should have gone out and found happiness with someone else." I held it together until they started joking about calling my Mom's POSOM to find out what bar had karaoke. Then I HAD to say something. It turned into everyone fighting me and they yelled, called me names and my aunt ended it by saying, "You are worthless to me and I am DONE with you." Oh, what a loss.

Needless to say, yesterday was a pretty CRAPPY day. I am over it though. A little tired today from the lack of sleep. Poor DS_9 was so upset when we got home. He said that he wanted to annoy Bampot. I asked him how. He said, "I want to write him email after email saying, 'Come home.'" I said, "Buddy. There is NOTHING you can do or say to make Daddy come home. You did NOTHING to make him leave. This is NOT about you it is about Daddy. There is no magic button you can push. When/if Daddy decides to come home, it will be because he makes the choice."

I did attempt to post this morning about what happened yesterday, but I didn't want any advice or hugs for it. Just wanted to vent. I feel like I am in a better place now about it, so that's why I posted it now.

My life can have so much DRAMA in it sometimes and it feels GREAT to just hang out with my friends at my kid's school. They are so NORMAL and BORING. Thank God. Oh, BTW. Found out a funny thing today. In September, my kids will be switching teachers. The grade 4 teacher is going to grade 2 and the grade 1 teacher is going to grade 5. Well, I guess my kid's teachers will already know ME. HAHAHAHAHAHA

Jeez, I dont even know what to say, I am flabbergasted!...I am sorry Scotty, but you sound like you are in a good place right now....WTH is wrong with everyone these days...and your poor little one, My DS does the same thing...asking his father when he is coming home, it breaks my heart...

Thumbs up for not keeping your mouth shut with your family and letting them have it, someone has to snap them into reality...

I am proud of myself that I didn't go on personal attacks like they did and that I didn't swear or even raise my voice. It infuriated them. Oh I forgot this great one from my aunt. My Mom keeps trying to blame my dad for her, well she doesn't call it an AFFAIR, but it IS. I said to my Mom, "When you said you marriage vows, did you mean them?" My aunt says, "NO ONE MEANS THEM." I said, "I did." She said, while pointing her finger right in my face, "Bampot didn't did he?" I answered with, "Were you TRYING to hurt me with that comment? That was CRUEL and very hurtful coming from someone who claims to be so 'HAPPY.'" She said, "No. I was just trying to show you that not EVERYONE takes the marriage vows seriously." I said, "Well, I do and I did. You said 'NO ONE.' Besides you didn't say that XBIL didn't take his vows seriously, you used my HUSBAND ONLY." That's when she stormed out and said she was done with ME. HAHAHAHAHAHA.

Shes done with you because she doesnt know what else to say, she sounded like an idiot and probably realized it!

Wow Scotty, that sucks that so many around you are so unsupportive. That is crazy. You handled it so well though, as usual.

If it's cool with you, me and the others on this site will be your 'adoptive family', and I'll be your 'big brother'. Please keep standing up for what is right. The world needs more folks like you.

hey Scotty, LOVED your SIL letter, way to go you!

As far as the rest of the extended family stuff...stick to your guns I say. If they don't like it, tough. They were not worth it.

Thanx Limb. I always wanted an older brother to kick my BF's butts.

Thanx Lil. I saw your email response. Like my name eh? It's a nickname I was given at 4 months old by my Mom. I like it better than my real name.

Hey Scotty, "Affair-land Adventure Park" ride attendants are giving you a hard time huh?

Yeah I can hear it now, "Don't try to sell that crap to Scotty", she will see right through it".

How awesome and loving your convictions are for your children and even the spoiled kids in affairland.

They sound like little nieborhood kids testing your meddle to see how far you can be pushed. Bravo young lady

I don't see it! Can you send again, Scotty? Do you have the right email address? ohmelodylane@aol.com

Scottie

oh honey.....I so wish I could be there to give ya a real hug....and do some SRN on your family. I've told you before how my family is a bit like yours but even they would not go to the extreme your brother did. My sis may have justified her "sub sandwich" to coo-coo ville and back but she was quite adament and supportive that *I* did not deserve what H did......heck I'm getting pretty PO'ed about it for you right now....

I'm so very sorry for this turn of events. It makes doing the right thing and living right and nobal a bit harder. I so very, very PROUD of you......

I suppose the best I can do is offer myself as a big sis until your family returns to there senses.......

Not

ps.....Lil, I ya could send me a copy of the letter or you have my permission to forward my addy to Scottie......loves ya bunches ladies!!!!!

As someone with some very, um, INTERESTING extended family, I totally get this. Right now I'm still on their bad list for telling the principal of the school here that a step-BIL who is a convicted sex offender was in town planning to live. I was concerned that there would be a few days delay between when he got there and when he was required to report. As it turned out, he wasn't planning to report at ALL!

As I recently found, no one had told my FIL and MIL when it happened - I had assumed they would hear immediately - so now they're freshly mad at me and aren't speaking to me again/still.

Sounds like yours won't be speaking to you any time soon, either. Hooray for both of us!!!!!

Scotty,

You are surrounded by waywards -- it makes you wonder how you ever turned out have such INTEGRITY, HONOR, and CHARACTER!

Who taught you?

They deserve a hug!

Wow - I am SHOCKED that your aunt said no one means their vows! Only - my sister said something similar to me, when she asked me why I wanted to fix my marriage and I said I had taken vows, and meant them. She said, "That's not a very good reason." It's not????

Anyway, keep hanging in there. You KNOW you are right!! Anyone who is a wayward or supports a wayward is truly on the wrong path.

If nobody means their vows, then what's the point in making them?

I'm sorry, Scotty, that your family is so obtuse.

The response to your brother should have been, "If Bampot wasn't happy, he should have told me. If that didn't work, he should have divorced me FIRST, before looking for nooky on the side."

Was your aunt a wayward at one point too? I had people at the beginning saying things like "well if he wasnt happy what did you expect him to do?" Ahhhhh, Yeah thats when I said what LC said and then they said "you are absolutely right".....

MelodyLane, it IS in my sent box as I sent it to that addy. The subject has, "Scotland here. This is the letter that I sent SIL in case some MB posters wanna see it. :D" I am sending it again then.

Thank you everyone for the support.

Lexxxy, I have been thinking about it. I really don't know. Maybe they are better teachers than students. I know that I was always a child that spoke my mind and didn't conform to what my parent's beliefs were. I would REFUSE to go to the store to buy my Dad cigarettes because I felt they were killing him(still are). I would even refuse to go to the store to buy their lottery tickets because we were barely getting food and milk(we had a store that would sell you 1 roll of TP at a time, or a couple of bags of tea), I didn't agree with them spending money on pipe dreams. I have always been told that I acted older than I was. I guess I must have learned them through my own observations. Is it possible to be born with a good moral compass? Who knows?

I am trying to pass on these traits to my children.

Speaking f children. DS_7 was sent home from school again today and he has been suspended for 2 days, Monday and Tuesday. Apparently, he wrote the F-word on the school tarmac in chalk. He says he didn't. He wrote, "Fluk" and another boy changed it. He told the principal, but he didn't believe him. He was so sad and all he kept saying to me, while we walked home was, "But Mommy, they don't believe me. They think I did it. They think I lied." His reaction leads me to believe him more than the school. I am not going to appeal it though because I believe he meant to write it but misspelled it. He was really upset when I told him that he would be grounded for 2 weeks. He thinks I don't believe him. I told him it was just fair because DS_9 got grounded for 2 weeks after he was suspended too. WOW, 2 months and 10 days and BOTH my kiddos have been suspended. I was NEVER suspended. Well, life is harder for them right now. It matters more how I react to these things in this time than what actually happens.

I actually feel okay. Just hope Jupiter doesn't explode on June 17th. That will creep me out.

You know Still, I don't know. I know that she was married before. She is married now. She leads a VERY independent lifestyle though. She goes on trips and says that she just writes her husband an EMAIL to let him know she is going. She only visits about once every 7 years or so. I am not too concerned.

I really was angry when my brother said that I was "bitter" and a "liar." My brother is my brother though and we talked it out a bit after. The family dynamic is a strange one sometimes. There has always been a lot of fighting etc in my family. We are ALL very opinionated and strong willed. Oh, did I ever mention that I am a first generation Canadian? My grandparents are all from Europe. Italy, Serbia and Scotland. I can argue with MYSELF.

Yeah, that is pretty tough with your brother...I hate the word "bitter" and a LIAR?, well we know that you are not that....We know who the liars are, THE ONES WHO LEFT TO BE WITH OW!!!!! And me, well I AM bitter...My H left me for another woman, I think I have a right to be bitter...I just hope I can lose the bitterness eventually....

But my brother was using this to tell me that I was being too "sensitive" to what they were saying about other people. They weren't even talking about Bampot. How could my bitterness about my WHs affair make me angry that they were talking poorly about my Dad and grandmother? Really? I would have been ANGRY about the comments they made at any moment in my life. That's why I was angry with the bitter comment. The lying thing was because they said that they weren't making fun of my Dad and grandmother. I said, "But you were all cracking jokes and laffing." My aunt said, "We are thinking of ways to help." I said, "How is laffing at and belittling someone helping them? At any time did you say, 'Let's come up with a solution to this?'" Of course she said, "No. But we weren't making fun of them or joking about it and we never put them down." I was angry so I said, "You know, a lot of people have to put others down to make themselves feel better." I felt like I was practicing no LBing while I was talking to them. I actually thank them(in my head of course) for helping me practice. I need a lot.