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Joined: May 2010
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JenJan Offline OP
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Just wondering when you feel happy more often than sad and you think less of what happened does that mean your in the beginning of recovery?


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

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JenJan Offline OP
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Great Great and Great I have done some musings and thinking of course and having weird thoughts. But ya know u KNOW when ur husbands working hard and he's not. I KNOW mine is working hard.

But I just can't trust my whole heart with him just to get ripped out if it's all a fake and I won't know that for along time and that is a shame...

Our vacation has been great no confrontations just love and affection....I haven't brought up the affair but it sure was scary watching (Did you hear about the morgans) and that was exactly us...

HUMM I never realized how hard being married was until this happened..


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 25
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JenJan Offline OP
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So Me and MY husband stopped by my aunts for a minute to say hi and he went out back where my other cousin was and came back in I didn't think any thing of it when he came and stood behind me and started playing with my neck

So were leaving and he said your sister was out back.
My heart started raceing I really thought Id be ok if that ever happened and I was say in the other room or they just ran into each other.
But I wasn't

He said as soon as he looked over and seen her he came in the house and we left a few minutes later..
But I got mad is that ok? I asked him what he felt he said nothing he just knew he had to hurry and get in the house to me. So I looked at him and said you really didn't feel anything and he said no.

So What should I think of this scenerio?


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: Dec 2007
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Why didn't you call your Aunt to see if the coast was clear before you went there?

I felt your WH acted apropriate. he came in and told you right away.

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JenJan Offline OP
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We was in the neighborhood and stopped to say hey...It was weird having ur heart beat so fast because someone was there and you didn't see them and wondering if the other person is telling you the truth about what he felt.


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
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Why didn't your aunt warn you that your sister was there the second you walked through the door?


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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JenJan Offline OP
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I don't know when I asked she said she thought I new because my nephew was at the patio door. But I didn't see him.


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: Jun 2008
Posts: 1,277
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Time to set the family back down and explain to them that you and FWH can have absolutely no contact with your sister FOR LIFE.

Explain to them that this will never change, you will not "Get over it" and eventually re-accept sister into your lives, not gonna happen, ever!

Tell them there is only one single reason you would ever end up in the same place as sister, and that is because you did not know she was there. You will never, ever, under any circumstances deliberately place yourselves in a situation where you would encounter her.. EVER!


Me 34
WW 30
Abandoned Feb 17th 08, D-Day Aprl 27th 08.
Returned home Jul 7th, OC born 12/30/08
The FOG is clear, and we are in recovery.
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JenJan Offline OP
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Yea some of them seem to think that will happen and some are like yea right. Im in the yea right it will never be right between us. I totally agree with you. But then I think how can I forgive him and be with him and not her? I'm having alot of trouble accepting that this happened and the worse part is my imagination..


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: Dec 2007
Posts: 5,860
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It's not about being able to forgive one and not the other.

It's all about the fact that affairs are known to restart without NC. How can you go to a family function and leave WH home. How can the family tell Wsis you can't come.

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JenJan Offline OP
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Yea I know we have a family reunion comming up we are not going.

I think there affair happened because they spent alot of time together she didn't work and he was home days with her while I was at work.
Otherwise I don't think it would have ever happened.

Just knowing it happened once even with her, whats to stop him from doing it again with anyone hell she was my sister.



Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 25
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JenJan Offline OP
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I have been doing really great I have ups and down's still cry myself to sleep every now and then.

He just hold's me and tell's me I'm sorry, and I think well this is your fault. I don't tell him that tho.

I'm trying really hard to not bring up the affair and just keep moving. Seeing if the love buster thing is going to work with me and I want to try and make as many deposits in the bank as I can.


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: May 2010
Posts: 25
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JenJan Offline OP
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I've been really feeling great I have my ups and downs but I really think we are starting to move on...

I hope it only gets better.


Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

Joined: Feb 2010
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Its good to hear. What are you two doing to R your M, other than NC?

This is where MB really comes in to build a affair-proof marriage. Follow the MB principles to get your marriage together.

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JenJan Offline OP
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We are working mainly right now on each other's needs...I never realized how many needs there really was until we read Dr. Harley's books.

We did do counseling with our Pastor and at this point we stopped it as a trial period to see if we can work threw our problems with out some one pointing them out to us..It is working alittle.

I realized I never asked anything. What do you want to watch, go, just anything I just did it and that was a big killer. I was to bossy. So now I ask what ever it is I ask...

Just small things. I hope we keep this up and it helps us.



Husband slept with sister who lived w/us
Married:5-12-2005
DDay: 2-25-2010
Bestfriends brother known for 20years
Kids: 5

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